You know you're on Medifast WHEN....

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I think humor is part of a postive attitude, so here goes....

You know you're on Medifast when......

...your boss wonders why you run from your desk every half hour.. have carpal tunnel wrists from shaking and stirring..

...your kitchen trash is all little white envelopes.. recycle more cardboard boxes than UPS!. get stopped by homeland security at JFK for packing mysterious powders..

...your kitchen counter has more flavors of syrup than IHOP..

Okay..... any other takers?..

Comments (92) get discouraged if you lost "only" 5 pounds last week..

Comment #1

- You have a collection of clothing in your closet that no longer fits.

- You are considered a major stakeholder in Poland Springs.

- You can sprint to the bathroom and back in 30 seconds or less.

- You become a blog addict..

Comment #2

- Your belts wrap around your waist twice..

- Your breath could knock over a billy goat...

Comment #3

-You receive shipments from Capella Coffee Company and don't drink Coffee..

-You start to feel you have a special relationship with your Ups/Fedex Guy and are waiting for him when he gets to the door..

-When going to the boards is a good thing...

Comment #4

-you know where every public bathroom is within a 100 mile radium and you have them rated four star super clean three star sometimes clean 2 star an iffy and 1 star an outdoor toilet.

-when you plan your next trip out of town and instead of where are we going out to dinner you say "where am I going to pee if we go that route?".

-when your best friend tells says "haver you ever thought about doing infomercials" after you have just shown her fifty different way s to make a Medifast shake in the magic bullet.

-when you hide from your co workers because they are looking for the donuts that you just throw down the garbage disposal..

Comment #5

(What a great thread, Gatita!).

You're know you're on Medifast when....

- the term metal-mouth takes on a whole new meaning.

- Sugar-Free JellO starts to look like a decadent treat.

- on a very tough week, you pee 3 times and stand naked on the scale to urge a .2 lb loss out.

- you're walking around with a super-baggy butt on your jeans because you are waiting for that next elusive size before you go shopping.

- you've forgotten where all the drive-thrus are.

- your local Krispy Kreme sends you a "We Miss You, Please Come Back" postcard.

- you find yourself obsessing about how much exercise is too much to still let you lose weight.

- you begin allowing mirrors in your house again.


Comment #6

Your closet becomes a new store (invite others over to look thru your BIG clothes).

You become a recipe creater and come up with ways to choke down your food.

You speed past every fast food joint and shock your kids.

Your dog loses weight as you have no more leftovers to feed them : )..

Comment #7

Great thread! Can't think of any others (brain dead this morning) but I can especially relate to the kitchen trash of little white packetsnowadays I just have one little trash bag at the curb on trash day! And the pee onesgosh, I plan EVERY trip outside the house by where are the bathrooms 1) on the way to the store and 2) in the store! LOL..

Comment #8

... you start to get craves for dill pickles..

... you stick the prefix "Medi" in front of every noun you know...

Comment #9

This was funny! I stick to eating every two hours during work days, so I have to walk by my bosses desk everytime I go to the kitchen. I know he is probably thinking. "What is she eating NOW?" lol..

Comment #10

-The kitchen sink is full of medibowls soaking to release the glue stuff.

-black olives, I hide the open can in the fridge, no one is gonna eat my freebies!..

Comment #11

Great thread!.

- You become a dill pickle connoisseur.

- You can name all the free flavorings that work with the shakes & puddings.

- You've become an expert at making the soups without blowing them up in the microwave.

- The stores love you because you have never shopped so much in your life - for smaller & smaller sizes..

Comment #12

- you have to go shopping for clothes every weekend to keep up with the weight loss.

- you go to a restaurant with friends and only order a bowl of hot water (to make your soup).

- you own every blender known to man, from the smoothie maker to the magic bullet.

- you no longer look like your drivers license photo.

Great thread!..

Comment #13

-Your friends ask if you are now going for the "gangsta" look because your pants are so big you have to tug them up with each step. (Still waiting for elusive next size...).

-You put your empty lunch bowl down on the floor for the dog to lick and after a sniff he looks at you like you're crazy and walks off. (Cream of Brocolli, true story).

-It takes the fingers on both hands to count the days since your last poo, and that no longer concerns you..

-Your favorite dreams are now those that are so real you can actually taste all the items on the dessert tray. Brad who?.

-Your underwear is so baggy that it won't stay in place and instead collects in folds of cloth in your crack. (Please tell me that isn't just me.).

-Even your husband's thickheaded bachelor friend notices you've lost weight. (This diet rocks!)..

Comment #14


....all your friends have names like Pawp1, O2bthin, BT2006, Hopetacy, Manafood,....... need a midweek pickup on recycling. (I drink bottled water.).

....your scale obsession supercedes your food obsession..

....all the news you need is provided by Jimintulsa in the off-topic area...

Comment #15

When you go on a Cruise and DON'T gain weight!..

Comment #16

WHAT A GREAT THREAD! I can relate to all of them, but the white envelopes in the trash and soaking the glue out of the bowls are priceless!.

- You feel the need to buy stock in ziploc due to the daily bagging of Medifast food.

- Your credit card statements no longer have restaurants listed, but you have several entries dedicated to Capella Coffee, Galeo's Cafe, Walden Farms and Andrew Lessman.

- You run your dishwasher every day to clean the myriad of bowls & shakers from a day's worth of meals.

- You buy smaller-sized bras once a month to make sure the girls are supported (thank God for WalMart's Secret Treasures brand for less than $8).

- The only clothes in your closet that you can wear now have labels like Sergio Valente, Z. Cavaricci and Sassoon.

- You have now become that annoying person who's always cold.

- You're actually considering having your picture taken in a bikini on July 4, 2007.

- You LOOK FORWARD to weigh-in day, then immediately go update your ticker..

Comment #17

Farrell said: "You buy smaller-sized bras once a month ...".

Oh, no, how did you find out? I thought that was my secret...

Comment #18


Are you one of those lucky men who have "man boobs"?..

Comment #19

Weren't you the one who told me about the $8 WalMart bras?..

Comment #20

- you take your Benefiber in a little pill envelop when you travel by air and then realize it looks an awful lot like cocaine..


Comment #21

Your mouth tastes like you ate a bowl of sugar...

Comment #22

Farrell asked: "Weren't you the one who told me about the $8 WalMart bras?".

Dang! Next you're going to tell them about how we share our leather goodies!..

Comment #23

How about this..?.

I was sitting on the pot weeing and still had my H2O bottle in my hand..... kitchen waste basket only has white torn pouches in it...nothing and peas......

Comment #24

Laughing so har reading this thread you almost wet your pants...

Comment #25

Your kids tell you have Medifast breath!.

All the new clothes you just bought are too big again!.

The chilli and stew actually tastes like a gourmet dinner!.

You visit the potty more than a toddler does!.

When you carry your blender in the car!.

WHen it doesnt bother you anymore to smell someone else"s food!..

Comment #26

Here's one I forgot earlier -.

You know you're on Medifast when you are actually using your workout clothes as they were meant to be used!.

(Mine actually have their own section in the closet now, and I don't wear them on a regular basis "just because nothing else fits me"!)..

Comment #27

-you think that muffins look good if they are more than 1/2 inch tall.

-coffee (with limited half and half) is a great treat.

-you start to crave broccoli instead of chips.

-the guy in the fish department knows your name..

Comment #28

~your company Calligan's order goes from 2 - 5gal jugs to 4 - 5gal jugs per week!.

~all your friends wonder why you aren't email them for a lunch date..

~adding 2 packets of splenda to 4 out of 5 meals is a norm!.

~your bi and triceps are sore from the daily workout and all you did was mix you food..

(smiles) Shantay..

Comment #29

-your Starbucks "run" consists only of brewed coffee or plain tea ..

-you run around the office so much people think you're manic..

-everyone thinks your obsession with the bathroom is a latent Freudian issue.

-you have never met the people you spend most of your time with (can't live without these boards!)..

Comment #30

I am starting to get this one....

***Dirty looks from the UPS & USPS delivery person at work.

(I send my Medifast to work since it is tax season and I am here more than home.).

***My kids are actually getting leftovers from my restaurant trips since I am only having the meat and veggie/salad..

(They love me now! )..

Comment #31

ROFLMAO!! Here's my contribution!.

You become an "Infomercial" by having to explain every day to someone exactly what you are eating and "What is Medifast?" (EVERY day!)It takes two days to put the dishes in the dishwasher because you have to soak the glue and crust off all the bowls.Your favorite "cookbook" is the Recipe section and you always are excited to try something new.Oatmeal is excitingYou realize that the saying is true that pets look like there owners! (iecheck out my picthat's one of my kiity's)Your spouse wonders why you didn't make HIM any oatmeal cookies!.


Comment #32

Your five year old tells people that her mommy eats "healthy chocolate"..

Comment #33

Kris, you sure that wasn't "My mommy HIDES ALL MY chocolate?"..

Comment #34

When -.

You make a "crepe" out of cream of broccoli soup, and think it tastes really, really good.

The first place any family member looks for you now is in the bathroom..

Dogs quit begging in the kitchen, they know nothing good is going to magically appear anymore..

You think that your blender is the best kitchen appliance. EVER...

Comment #35

- when you're in tears because the kids don't love the homemade cream of broccoli soup that you made and would kill for right now.

- when you DON'T want to shop for smaller clothes because you're not sure how long they'll fit for.

- when you feel guilty eating those extra soy crisps even though you're still under 1200 calories that day (which is low compared to any other diet in the world).

I guess mine are kinda negative, harboring some issues right now I guess!..

Comment #36

Don't be giving away our July 4th bikini secret, Jim!!!..

Comment #37

When your husband starts medifasting so he doesn't have to deal with your bad breath!..

Comment #38

.... you can get two weeks of groceries from the market in one little hand held basket!..

Comment #39

I just have to tell you guys that my DH, son, and I were discussing this thread at dinner (and laughing riotously). I was talking about my one post that I know I'm on Medifast because I only wear workout clothes for working out now, not because they're all that fits. Then I realized that the big guy at the table next to me was wearing a jogging suit. That kind of killed the conversation. I hope he didn't hear me.

Anyway, this thread made for fun conversation....

And my son said, "You know your mom is on Medifast when there are no brownies or cookies allowed in the house!".


Comment #40

You know you're on Medifast when about two-thirds the way through your second meal of the day, a 4 oz. serving of oatmeal mid-morning, you notice a bunch still left in the bowl and catch yourself thinking "wow, this is a lot of food to finish."..

Comment #41


...when your DH or SO brings you a bottled water along with his supermegatacomelt without your having to ask.

...when you find yourself chugging your (NEW) 20-oz bottle of water just outside security at the airport.

...when you know by memory what "legal" L&G there is on the menu at every restaurant in town and every chain across the country.

...when you can actually squat down with your butt a few inches from the floor, without knee pain, to speak eye-to-eye with your granddaughter.

...when you walk past a plate glass window and actually SMILE at your reflection.


...when your friends/coworkers want to know what that scum is that's left in your coffee cup.



Comment #42

You know you're on Medifast WHEN....

You look forward to a good snow fall because shovelling burns 588 cals in an hour..

You get to eat 6 times a day..

Your friends tell you how "young" you are looking now..

Your 19 year old son says "that stuff stinks" referring to the vanilla shake you are looking forward to eating..

Everyone in the house is losing weight now because you are looking so good...

Comment #43

You get to dig through your basement to find old clothes you packed away because they were too tight..

Your husband buys you turkey bacon when he wants BLTs, and cooks his own bacon..

You put lotion on 3 times a day, and your skin is still dry..

You wash and dry your jeans on the hottest setting, hoping they'll shrink...

Comment #44

When even the non-dieting family members in your home refer to dinner as "lean and green"..

Comment #45

I learned a new one last night!!. wake up several times a night to dreams of peeing..

(luckily, they were just dreams)..

Comment #46

You actually get EXCITED about powedered eggs in a nondescript white envelope!.

You hug your scale..

You rediscover body parts you had forgotten you have..

Your scale AND your bank account are both going down..


Comment #47

This is a wonderful Thread !.

You know you are on Medifast when:.

You can read these 6 pages , and can personally relate to each and every post on here.

You cant wait t o het home to log in your food for the day & see if there are any new posts !..

Comment #48

You have to check the label to see which jeans are yours and which belong to your son!.

You weigh LESS than your son! (For the first time in his life!!!)..

Comment #49

You know that you are on Medifast when.....

You get thank you cards from the manufacturers of toliet paper!!!.

You think of a way to mount a tv in the bathroom, seeing as though you spend most your time in there!!!!.

You go out to dinner and forget that your water bottle is in your hand until you get to the door!!!.

You get to ditch the "granny" panties!!!!!!..

Comment #50

Here's another I thought of yesterday.....

You know you're on Medifast when someone mentions their ticker and you don't realize they are talking about their heart!..

Comment #51

... not only do you allow someone to take a picture of you, you ask them to..

... you are so proud to have poo'd that you announce it and your family cheers for you...

Comment #52

[quote=kungfookatie... you are so proud to have poo'd that you announce it and your family cheers for you.[/QUOTE].

That is SO funny!!!! I'm happy to report that this was me yesterday!..

Comment #53

When you rinse, double rinse and lick the white packets to get your money's worth!..

Comment #54

You know you're on Medifast when ....

- you pick your clothes out in the morning based on what is small enough rather than what's big enough to hide the bulges.

- you walk through life with your head held a little higher because you're so proud of what you're doing for YOURSELF!.

- you're forced to learn to politely take a compliment.

- your sister refers to you as the incredible shrinking woman.

- you smile when passing a mirror.

- you step on and off the scale 3, 4, 5 times on weigh in day because you can't believe you lost THAT much!.

- you have more energy than you did when you were 16.


Comment #55

You know your on medifast when you fight your dog over a dropped vegetable....

Or you know you are on medifast when you pee 2 minutes after you just peed for 5 minutes...

Comment #56

-When you're no longer on a first name basis with the barista at Starbucks.

-When the drive through guy no longer asks "you want the usual?".

-When realizing that chocolate cake just isn't worth messing up the pie chart on your meal plan.

-When you're a scaleaholic and proud of it..

Comment #57

This is very funny and everyone is true! Good job people!..

Comment #58

You are watching Tv and get so excited by something you not food, not cooking utensils, not even smaller clothes...but a feather bed on HSn because you are so cold all the time!..

Comment #59

RIFLMAO!!!! Have you been eavesdropping at my house?.

Love this thread. It's all so true...

Comment #60

You obsess over how much broccoli is too much broccoli..

Comment #61

...if you realize you haven't been to the bathroom in an hour and you don't know if you should be glad or worried!.

...your house looks like the house from the movie "Signs" because of all of the half drank glasses of water all over the place...

Comment #62

Gotta put this back at the top. Love these posts they are so funny and so TRUE!..

Comment #63

...when you are with your husband, and you can't stop talking about the information you saw posted on these boards...

Comment #64

You bounce out of bed in the morning, so excited that it is your WEIGH DAY!!!..

Comment #65

You slip, feel like you can't do this anymore, then read a thread like this!.



Comment #66

...when you show your ID and then have to convince the person it's actually you..

Comment #67

SERIOUSLY! I had an argument with the guy at the ABC store this week (was buying vodka to make a cream sauce - I brought dinner to a friend whose husband had surgery this week) because he thought I stole my older sister's ID. I actually put my wallet down on the counter to show him that everything in there had my name on it and he told me that I probably took the whole wallet. Should have ticked me off, but I was WAY happy about it...

Comment #68

When you find yourself at a social function staring at a buffet with nothing edible.

This happened to me last night. I thought they were serving dinner at this party and it was all finger food..

I ended up picking the crabmeat out of some empanadas and taking the lunchmeat out of the cuban sandwich slivers. Hardly ideal, but desperate times.....

Comment #69

This needs to be BUMPED!!! Especially for newbies - you gotta read these! Mostly cuz then you will know you are not alone!.

Indigomood - I have been too "shy" to ask if anyone else gets upset over spilled "powder" (meals!) I want every last drop!..

Comment #70

LOL...these are so true! I'm glad this was "bumped" today...

Comment #71

LOL fluffymom, I have been known to lick it off the counter if need be!! The stuff's expensive and I want all the meal due me if you know what I mean. Don't want to be gipped out of any calories, nutrients, nourishment etc.....

PS - I still lick the empty packet before tossing it in the rubbish bin! I'm hopeless..

Comment #72

You're too kind! frugal and hopeless!!.

This thread is hilarious!..

Comment #73

You know your're on Medifast WHEN..... make a recipe of cookies for your 2nd graders spring party and you are shocked on how many cookies you really can make! - And for years thought it only made 1/2 dozen!. actually know what DH, TOM, BLT, L&G and Medifast means...

Comment #74

You don't mind at all being called a "MFer"!!!!!!!!!..

Comment #75

When you can propel yourself around the room using your own"gas"!!..

Comment #76

"lookin" roflmao! LITERALLY!!! - cuz I am on MF!..

Comment #77

This is a really funny thing to do. I'm new, but I have a couple already:.

You ask the guy stocking the shelves at the grocery store if the store carries any "sugar free" syrups and he asks if you mean "cough syrups.".

You think of stealing your husband's dill pickle out of his lunch bag..

You frighten your husband with noises and smells! (sorry, but the first couple of days are rather bilious).

I enjoyed reading everyones!..

Comment #78


You know you are on MediFast when.... are thrilled to be "Overweight"!! (oh, I cannot wait for that day!!). are a *little* concerned that your closest relationships seem to be with inanimate objects, like your blender, your food scale, your weight scale, your toilet, and your computer. have to plan ahead if someone is going to be a passenger in your car so that you can remove 1)The case of bottled water that is on the floor; and 2)The 48 empty water bottles that litter the car. alternate between being concerned that you can fit in that last Medifast meal so that you can REACH 800 calories for the day, and those days that you would gladly "eat your feet". fancy yourself a bit of a chemist with all of your drops, syrups, extracts and powders to create your frothy potions.

...ketosis is your favorite word in the whole world.


Comment #79

Love this thread!!! Surpised that there wasn't more about the gas since that to me is the funniest thing we all seem to talk about. Even Nutritional Support refered to us as having "warm winded abilities". LOL!!!..

Comment #80

- You fall off the MediFast wagon but continue to eat only lean and green meals!.

- Your entire day's worth of food packs into one Ziploc sandwich bag..

- You request a penance for a moment of weakness with a baguette..

- You yell at family members for using your Capella drops in Gasp! their coffee...

Comment #81

- you cant wait to tast the newest Medifast meal and then planning ahead to ensure you have all the seasonings in stock so that you can doctor it up..

- Getting on the scale every morning to give you motivation to make it to your L&G..

Comment #82

You know you're on Medifast when you:.

Buy clothes a size smaller and go to wear them and they are already TOO BIG!.

Throw the crust from your son's pizza in the trash instead of in your month..

Go to a big family get together and it seems NORMAL to have a bowl of hot water waiting for you at your seat at the dinner table.

Consume the same number of calories ALL DAY as you used to with 1 FAST FOOD MEAL!.

You are welcome to read my BLOG:..

Comment #83

You know your a MFer when :.

When you give your "big" clothes away to someone that used to be smaller than you were before MF..

When you feel guilty for eating more than 850 cals a day..

When the first thing you do when you get up is turn on your puter (after peeing) , read & post in these forums..

When you have to keep buying new panties cause the other ones go up to your neck now..

You plan your meals for the next month as soon as your new box of food arrives..

You stay away from some family members for a month so they can see a big change in your weightloss at the end of the month..

Fast Food starts to stink & Medifast food smells good..

O , & when your mother in law asks if you are gonna leave her son..

When your husband comes home from work & you talk about ppl in the forums like they were your close personal friends.

Every time you reach a goal , you buy more excercise stuff for your reward...

Comment #84

Love this thread!.

You know you're on Medifast when....

*You look so different your spouse thinks they're having an affair..

*When out in public you know how celebrities feel...

Comment #85

-You can't wait for TOM to come (and go) so you can find out how much you REALLY weigh..

-Your daily cleanup consists of the same shaker, mug, spoon, fork, bowl, pot and pan every day..

Comment #86

I'm glad this got revived I forgot all about it!.

When you're actually considering packing your Magic Bullet on a plane trip for your one week vacation..

I'm going through this one today!..

Comment #87

I didn't read all of I hope I don't repeat. There are so many great ones here but I do have my own!.

-MF now stands for a good thing instead of the naughty word.

-When you send back a diet-coke in a restaurant twice because you SWEAR it tastes like regular.

-When you would never think of cheating because you don't want to have to go thru the dreaded transition again.

-When all your co-workers can't eat your food stash in your office anymore!! (This has saved me tons of money!!).

-When you won't go out to a restaurant anymore without checking the online menu in advance to make sure you can meet your L&G.

-when you know what L&G stands for.

-when all the skinny girls start to get nervous!!!!.

-when you can finally see your toes without having to lean forward!..

Comment #88

When you go to McDonalds and order a salad with grilled chicken and then don't eat the cheese, don't eat the carrots, don't eat anything that isn't on the Medifast approved list of foods. Put a teaspoon of dressing in the lid and dip fork fulls of salad gingerly into to so you won't go over your carb/cal allotement. Re-fill your own water bottle at the drink dispenser..

Wow, I'm really hooked on MF..

Comment #89

...when you realize your entire refridgerator is filled with condiments...

Comment #90

You're willing to eat powered peanut butter.

You inventory your food.

You lick your plate.

You can't wait to go to bed so you aren't tempted to eat anything else.

You can't wait to go to bed so you can get up and weigh yourself.

You're children ask everytime they see you eat your L&G"Are you sure you can eat that?".

You go to your children's sporting event with four water bottles and they're all for you.

You give in and buy cookies for your children but force them to eat the whole bag so you don't have to take them home and be tempted.

You weigh yourself by the ounce..

Comment #91

LMAO...this reminds me of my paranoia on Thursday when I bought a fountain drink at a local store. It was a "serve yourself" setup and I was pleasantly surprised to see that they had Cherry Coke Zero. I had never tasted it before, but I love Cherry Coke so I thought I would try it. It was so good that I kept thinking that I was going to throw myself out of ketosis for drinking "sugar pop" (as my mom calls it). I actually bought some Cherry Coke Zero at the store last night so I could taste it and be sure that the fountain soda hadn't been mislabeled. Luckily it tasted like the stuff from the fountain, so I think I found my new favorite diet soda!..

Comment #92

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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