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Yesterday I had a first date with a woman i met on match.com?

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My first question is: Yesterday I had a first date with a woman I met on match.com?.

My next question is: Hi all,.

So I have been dating (online dating with Match.com) this guy for about 4 months now...here is the scenario...-He pretty much calls every night...but I crave for more communication sometimes...he did text quite often during the initial days of dating...-He has few close female friends that he talks with quite often and he told me that he has never crossed the line of friendship with them, but he is able to talk about personal stuff with them.-We meet each other almost twice a week and whenever we hangout, he is very attentive and sweet-Recently we have started having more conversations focused on previous relationship (thru Match.com) issues and what our individual definition of relationship...though we have never really finished this convo...-Recently I introduced him to my closest girlfriends on a night out and he just kept on asking me the next day what my friends thought of him etc. And he mentioned that it was a fun night for him after a long time.  He had also invited some of his guy friends as well...-Even though he buys food/dinners...not once has he bought me flowers etc.-We have not said the "L" word to each other.

I guess my problem is that I am being impatient?  I feel like he should step it up a bit....

Thanks in advance.....

Comments (6)

Your question was: Yesterday I had a first date with a woman I met on match.com?.

I have no idea what you think is wrong with this. It's only four months, give the "L-word" thoughts a break. Your expectations are sky high and you're setting him up for failure. In four months he hasn't bought you flowers and that's a problem? I think you need to get rid of this princess mentality. He sounds like a great guy who cares for you, and that's not enough?I think you should either give him a break or let him find someone who appreciates him, it's clear that you don't. I hope I slapped your face hard enough for you to realize what you have. He deserves better than someone who feels this way about him, feelingblues...

Comment #1

Thank you eggbertshootsfire for your comments. Like I said in my post...I am probably being impatient since I really like the guy. I honestly am not really ready to use the "l" word either....It's just that some of my friends tell me all these things...and I'd rather come and vent my personal thoughts on this messageboard then go talk to the guy I am dating (online dating with Match.com) (that might screw things up) or these friends. I appreciate your honesty and I am learning to be patient because I care and don't want to loose someone great.Also, please don't assume that I am being a "princess", in fact he is getting someone great in return as well. Thanks!..

Comment #2

I agree taht your expectations are a bit high:.

He calls you daily but you crave more communication?.

He hasn't bought you flowers - what does buying flowers ( or any gift mean? I've known people who were true jackasses who bought flowers and such all the time to 'apologize' for their bad behavior) I also know people who say 'I love you' at the drop of a hat - and I know many others, my self included who says it only when it's sincere. 4 months is still very early - and men are much slower to say ILY. He will say it when he truly feels it. If you insist on pushing it to not be insecure, then you may find yourself single again..

He is involved in your life and is open to meeting friends and discussing building a relationship?.

What is missing for YOU? What do you think he should be doing?.

Seems like you have a schedule and agenda for how things 'should' be rather than enjoying what this man is giving you - his time and attention HIS way. If that isn't enough, then he may not be a good fit.

Read the Five love Languages - you might be surprised by what you learn..

Toni..

Comment #3

"Also, please don't assume that I am being a "princess", in fact he is getting someone great in return as well."I think your expectations here do come across as princess-like. Just remember a "great person" to be in a relationship (thru Match.com) with is patient, understanding and realistic. It sounds as though you are overanalyzing things because the relationship (thru Match.com) is still new and you're in a stage that is normally about sizing one another up and trying to determine where you stand with one another. That's ok, just don't let yourself fall victim to your overthinking and if you get a good feeling with him, go with it...

Comment #4

I cant tell you, basedon your list if he cares for you or not.  I believe that people, in general, fall in love early on..if they fall in love at all. Some people grow to love and that usually takes longer, in my opinion only..

Flowers mean nothing if no love or emotions accompany them so .. if he is not in love or has serious intentions..why bring flowers?.

In what way would you like more communication if he is already talking to you everyday?.

I dont prefer to date using Match.com men who have female friends - that personal stuff that he discusses with them..should be discussed with YOU.  IMO, opposite sex friends strip a romantic relationship (thru Match.com) of the depth of the emotional intimacy that it could achieve...

Comment #5

Thank you sugarbaby_gal for your comments. I have had experience with an ex being friendly with co-workers before and it just ended up making me quite insecure. I understand that you talk about work and joke around...I do the same at work...but often times...the lines gets crossed when you talk about personal stuff. I don't know how to address this issue with him. We are still fairly new into this relationship (thru Match.com) (four months) and I do not want to dictate something like this. The fact is that I am ok to an extent if he has friends that are girls...just as long as they know about me and he doesn't talk to them about personal stuff like before.....

Comment #6


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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