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Y are the same women available on match .com?

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My first question is: Y are the same women available on match .com?.

My next question is: I'm 39 yrs old and he's 48 yrs.  I met him online.  We have been dating (online dating with Match.com) for 8 mos.  Overall we have a nice relationship.  We spend time together and have a lot in common..

Five months ago he asked me to be his girlfriend and become an exclusive couple.  We agreed not to date using Match.com others.  He said if he found out that I was dating (online dating with Match.com) someone else...he would break up with me.  I told him vice versa. .

I removed my singles ad.  He didn't remove his.  Last weekend we spent Valentines day together.  He had a cold, but was kind of quiet and distant.  His cell phone rung a couple of times.  He would look at the number and not answer the phone..

After Valentines Day he didn't call me for two days.  That's unusual.  He calls at least every other night..

I was curious, so I logged on to the online site.  He profile is still up and he has been active.  He logged on three days ago.  I haven't dated anyone but him.  He is still online meeting other women..

I asked him about it and he said he logs on the read and delete his mail.  Why is he still a member?.

I'm not sure if he's dating (online dating with Match.com) other women.  But it appears he is still looking.   I broke up with him.  Now I am confused..

 Is what he did considered cheating?.

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Comments (8)

Your question was: Y are the same women available on match .com?.

I don't think it's cheating, but it if my guy was on an online site while dating (online dating with Match.com) me, it says he is not really that into me and that's not acceptable.  I would drop him -like that-...

Comment #1

Thanks for your responses.  It helps..

He called me tonite.  He was very mad and started yelling and accusing me of being a snoop and a very insecure person. He wouldn't answer any of my questions but told me that I have some serious issues that I need to deal with.  He said he's not online looking for women.  I am lying..

He said the if things were reversed he wouldn't be looking online to see what i'm doing.  Instead of addressing the issue that he still has an active personal ad.  He wanted to tell me how horrible I was for snooping..

He cut me off and spoke louder whenever I tried to talk calmy to him about the personal ad and how it concerns me...

Comment #2

'The best defence is a good offence'..

That's the tactic he tried with you. He evaded your question and turned things around on *you*. That is very telling. Also, his behaviour sounds rather immature for a man of his age..

I figure that there had to be a reason that you checked to see if his profile was still up. And you confirmed your suspicions..

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CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #3

My ex used to pull that "it's your fault" crap on me when I confronted him with his bad behavior. I would find pictures of scantily clad women that he had downloaded on the computer. When I asked about it, he would tell me it was my fault, he had to do it because I was this, that, or the other thing.This is a controlling man. He already told you he would break up with you if you dated others, but it is OK for him to do it. He is accusatory (you're a snoop). He has one standard for you, another for himself.

Do yourself a favor and move on because, despite all you might try, it doesn't get better with this type, particularly as they get older...

Comment #4

His true colors are coming out.  Break this off immediately and be thankful you found out he is a verbal abuser and maybe even a phyical abuser very early in the relationship.  Run girl run!.

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My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.

THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.

Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comment #5

He was too busy  being defensive instead of trying to preserve the relationship (thru Match.com) - his priorities are very clear...

Comment #6

I agree with the other posters! Be glad you are out of this relationship (thru Match.com) and don't get sucked back in! Huge, huge red flags with how he handled the situation. As someone else said, this is a controlling, emotionally/verbally abusive man and you should stay far, far away from him. Your initial instincts were right, as they almost always are...

Comment #7

Well it's certainly an issue of broken trust. He has double standards. Why is he still active? Have you asked him?.

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Comment #8


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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