Your question was: Why you cant delete a profile at match.com?.
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My next door neighbor.
Wants to ban all guns.
THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.
Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.
Them with my guns..
Lots of guys like to "keep their options open" and dont like to close off potential encounters or booty calls or dates unless they have to. it is annoying and wrong to do to someone. It is much better for men and women to be straight forward and treat the other party with respect. You never know if you will run into that other person one day again and wouldnt it be nice to have no hard feelings between the to? Long term thinking is not high on the list for many men unfortunately...
I disagree a little....
<I totally believe that if a guy is really into you, he would do whatever to see you and be with you and if he doesn't, then he just isn't that into you. >.
This is a pop-culture theory. It assumes that all men are alike... and they aren't..
<if you do not like a girl, don't sweet talk her. We get it! You are just trying to string us along and we are not stupid. Maybe you think that we will wait for your call when you get lonely.>.
If a man wanted to be active with a woman, I don't think the activity would be 'stringing along' - I think it would be calling her and wanting to see her. If a man is not communicating with a woman, it means he is not thinking about her. When he does think of her, he will pick up the phone and call, or send a text/email..
If a man didn't meet my expectations for communication/speed/how I want to be treated... I would do one of the following:.
1. Wait it out until he feels comfortable enough to step things up2. Ask him to do a better job of meeting my needs3. Find someone else who fits the profile of what I think a guy should do when he's interested in someone.
The one lesson I have learned is to not hold a man accountable for something he doesn't know. I'm glad you posted your feelings here, because if you sent them to your man, it would quite possibly be the end of things...
Hope this helps....
I got this same line of malarkey from the last guy I saw. (Or is it "am seeing?" I don't know if I'm single or not because he hasn't called!).
The best thing to do is to become impossibly unavailable to him. He's obviously not going to bother to chase you down, so how into you can he be? Don't you want somebody that feels a little more strongly about you? Go out and find a new man and don't waste any more time on this one..
Pay attention to what he DOES, not what he SAYS. .
For some odd reason, men don't like to be "in trouble" when it comes to women, so they run away when given the opportunity, or they tell you that they've missed you terribly/been way too busy/been abducted by terrorists so you won't be ticked when they do get around to contacting you again. So many men are missing a backbone, and we let them get away with it!..
Hi Aalza. I personally believe if a man is truly interested he will make time to call and see the person. I don't understand how someone can get so busy that they don't have time for a 5-10 minute phone call. I officially met a man across the street from my work, he was all excited wanting to see me, stating he could not wait, wanted more time than an hour for lunch, would call me, and come to find out we only had one lunch date, hearly main through him via email and very short emails, a morning break, and a Sunday get together fell through. I am not into playing games and I am an honest person. I truly was giving him a chance to try to get together again; and since the last meeting did not work out, I decided it was not worth waiting for him to call after he always had something to say about why he's soooo busy.
When he finally called me I was cordial, asked him how he was, his weekend, and told him to have a great week. Come to find out I ran across him Wednesday of last week, stopped said hi, how are you, and then said I had to get going, which I did because I was on my way back from break running late. When I got home he emailed me asking and/or stating that "we have had a change of hearts since this afternoon walk", which I found interesting because he used the work hearts, the subject line had seven question marks which is stating a strong question. I emailed him telling him that I can't date using Match.com right now because I have too much going on and wished him well. He had many opportunities to see me if he was truly interested and could have called.
I would suggest you move on to the next man who asks you out..
What you seem not to understand is that, as a matter of tactics, we can't seem overly interested. We have to act disinterested. And it worked. You're thinking more about this guy now that he didn't call than you would have if he had called. We know that if we show too much interest, are too nice and too predictable, we're toast...
I'll be the second man to respond to your question since you're looking for a male perspective. One of the things that New York man said that IS true, is that since this guy has said these things to you, HE has you under his spell. It seems like you desperately want his attention and since he's not giving enough of it to you, you feel powerless. That's why when New York man says guys shouldn't show "too much attention" b/c if guys show "too much", you women lose interest and have the power, so to speak.
So from a dating (online dating with Match.com) and attraction perspective, this guy may understand that women are constantly trying to gain the upper hand from men and when they don't get the upper hand, have feelings similar to the ones you're feeling. It seems like instead of liking this guy, you're hating him. It's only YOUR thoughts that make you feel this way..
It's possible that he means what he says and has been tie up with HIS life. How would you feel if you came to realize he's been busy and feels bad for not having called you? You would have wasted a TON of time and energy over this for no reason, other than you thoughts are astray and speculative..
So my question for you is that if everything you say here IS true about this guy, WHY ARE YOU STILL INTERESTED IN HIM? I'd be willing to bet if he said he'd been busy, you'd take away all the bad things you've said about him and date using Match.com him..
I'm not trying to bash or criticize you, I just want you to realize you're wasting your time STRESSING over something that is COMPLETELY out of your control. The ONLY thing you can come close to controlling in your life, ARE YOUR THOUGHTS. Master your thoughts and you've mastered life...
This just again shows that actions speak alot louder than pretty words!.
Well let's not say long term thinking is not priority for all men. It's between the man and woman together to communiate, see their short term and long term goals and how they can or can't compromise in a way that feels workable for both of them.
Communication, honesty, integrity are key ingredients to a healthy relationship.