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Why is Match.com not working?

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My question is: Why is Match.com not working?.

My 2nd question is: Hi..

I have met someone from nn online dating (online dating with Match.com) site. We went out for coffee, he brought me a rose, which really surprised me, It was very unexpected and I'm not used to that. We had a second date using Match.com almost 2 weeks later, (because he's a single father, he has his kids full time, every other week-end off). We second date using Match.com and had drink, then went over to his place and just kissed. He went away for the week-end and he said he would call me when he got back. He called Sunday night, but I missed his call, he left a message.

It's Tuesday and I have not heard back from him. He doesn't have his kids this and next week, so I know he's not that busy. What should I do? I do like him, we have so much in common, kids, same city, age everything seems right...any advise would be very appreciated...

Comments (13)

Do nothing.  yuo already called and left him a message..

Go on a date using Match.com with someone else or something...

Comment #1

Well, the coincidental thing was right after I posted this yesterday I received a text from him inviting me out last night. We went out on our 3rd date, watched a movie, then he came over one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. I think I blew it. I noticed that right after he didn't cuddle much with me, we talked a little then he said he had to go. He told me that his dog had been inside for awhile and he need to get him out. I asked if the dog had been out at all that day and he said yes, 3 times, but he didn't want the dog to the "bathroom" somewhere in the apartment.

He quickly got dressed, kissed me twice by the door and made no plans to get together again, he only said "talk to you later". We are both off today, and he never asked what I was doing today... I think that's it. What are your thoughts...should I contact him first or wait for him, and when should the contact be made? I don't want to seem desperate because I know it turns men off. I really like him...but the other thing is he knows that I have a huge fear of dogs, and maybe he's thinking we're not a good match, because I have a problem being around big dogs (german shepherd).

The thing is I have not asked him what he's looking for, or I have told him I want a relationship, but I'm afraid to touch the subject...i feel like I'm walking on egg shells, because I really don't want to blow this one up... Should I wait for him to contact me again, and if he doesn't, should i? How long should I wait?..

Comment #2

Call and ask him out...hey ya wanna go catch a movie...

Comment #3

When today? But, we saw each other yesterday and we went out to watch a movie....

Comment #4

I say let it lie, quit obsessing, and just go about your life. Let him do some chasing. If he doesn't chase you, well then you won't have wasted your energy. If he does, well it will be very rewarding. Meanwhile, like another poster said, go on a date, go about your life, don't wait by the phone, don't call and text and e-mail and leave messages, it will just make you seem desperate..

***If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)***..

Comment #5

Unless you're looking for a last minute booty call type of relationship, I'd let this one go..

Sheri..

Comment #6

No, I will take your advise: I'M NOT CALLING, MESSAGING, TEXTING, no contact at all...but if he doesn't contact me in the next few days I know I will feel rejected and disapointed, one more time...sigh...

Comment #7

Well, that's a good reason to wait on sex, so you can stay more emotionally detached early on.  I'm not trying to beat up on you by any means, but I do think that any time one chooses to take that step early on, it has to be with acceptance of the risk involved, KWIM?.

In any event, I think that if you're not looking for something casual, you'd probably be better off if he doesn't call...it can be too easy to get hooked into that even if it's not what you want, hoping it'll turn into "more"..

Sheri..

Comment #8

Sheri,.

So do you think that, that  thi is all he wants from me? Sex? Is that what it looks like? What makes you think that? I mean we had sex on our 3rd date, and he didn't call the next day, but should I jump into the conclusion that that's all it is? Sex???..

Comment #9

It might not make a difference if you've had sex on the 3rd date using Match.com BUT don't go getting all needy and desperate when/if he does call... just play it really really cool, don't talk about your feeilngs or what happened. .

If he does ask you out again, don't have sex with him.  That way, if he doesn't call after that date; well, you have your answer..

Also too, as some of the other posters mentioned, go out on other dates and have lots of fun.   Try to forget about him. .

Good luck...

Comment #10

 .

Maybe a brief test or message, Hope things are going well. I'm looking forward to the long weekend and then let it go.

,..

Comment #11

Yes, based on what you wrote about how things have progressed, he sounds like he's primarily interested in sex.  Now does that mean "just sex"?  Maybe not, but IMO a guy who wants to get to know you for more than a casual physical relationship (thru Match.com) isn't going to push for sex so soon (it sounds like he was hoping to get lucky on date using Match.com 2)..

Sheri.

 ..

Comment #12

I definitely do NOT think you should ask him out now!.

Having sex on the third date using Match.com is not a crime it just puts more pressure on a new potential relationship..

Women make the mistake of getting all needy and of having expectations once sex happens and that is what can doom the relationship..

Also, he is a person, he was married and maybe having sex brought up some emotions for him as well.  You never know..

Give him space.  Ditch any expecations.  Be easy, be light like in as "ooops!  We had sex"!!!  Wait for him to call and contact.  The worse feeling for men is to feel obligated when you barely know one another..

Meanwhile...go on with your life. Focus on other things, things that make you happy sans him..

By the way, I would not treat the relationship (thru Match.com) any different.  You had sex but it doesn't mean you are exclusive or you know each other well.  It just means you had sex. I would treat each date using Match.com as a new one to get to know each other without expectations..

Nothing wrong with having sex so early, it just can make things awkward and derail things.

Soliel..

Comment #13


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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