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Why do I always attract lame ducks?

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Chatting to a guy for a month on a dating (online dating with Match.com) site. This week he suddenly got a letter of demand re his credit card debt of 1500 euros. He says that he is being threatened with immediate jail (this is in another country btw where these sort of things could happen I suppose) if he does not pay the whole sum. He said to me he offered 1000 euro but they would not accept it. He said in 4 days he will be in jail and will not be able to meet me and be with me as he would like. He said that jail in that country means torture or even death.He may well be genuine but I have been bitten an incredible 3 times by guys with hard luck stories saying they'd pay me back etc.

Enough but not a staggering sum which is maybe what they think I could cough up without going bankrupt.I really liked the sound of this guy and we'd chatted for a month but you can imagine, in view of my previous experiences, how reluctant I am to send him the money Western Union as he'd like.He said of course he'd not force me or anything but I'd be saving his life if I did it. It smacks of emotional blackmail and I've been through this before.I will not do it and if he goes to jail then tough unfortunately but I suppose men smell lonely women and pray on them and 'groom' them for these sort of situations.The sad thing is I actually believe him as he gave me all details but I've never met him in real life, he lives in another country and I am not a charity!Anytime of course I meet a guy who is solvent (not necessarily in a fantastic job either) he has a HUGE opinion of himself and thinks he ought to be dating (online dating with Match.com) 21 year old models or something....

Comments (9)

Your question was: Why do I always attract lame ducks?.

This guy is a con man and you should not send him anything. With creditors everyone knows that if you offer to pay anything - even $10 US dollars - they take it and they cannot do anything to you as long as you are steadily paying them off.Sorry to hear about your waste of one entire month on this loser.The other guy who thinks he's god's gift to women can take a hike too. They all think they should date using Match.com 21 year old women, don't you know that? That is until you listen to types of conversations that 21 year olds have..."when I get older..." or "I want to make sure that when I get older...." - then reality hits and men realize they are talking to their kids or nieces or someone who cannot even imagine what life is like living 40 years or the experiences one has within those years. Their frame of reference is narrow, that's all. Some guys like the young ones because then they get to mold their little Eliza Doolittle. Others just don't like touching someone their own age, whatever that age is...because, let's face it, 21 year olds don't have to work too hard to be toned.

Thus his actions were a complete waste of time.I can see how, as time has gone on, men have developed a sense of "entitlement" towards having a little something on the side or something that hasn't reached maturity yet, etc. Too bad more women don't feel that way. It would make life a little more interesting...

Comment #1

Are you nuts? Do not lend men money ever! unless they are family or you've known them years and years and years and know their character, they sign a fully legal promissory note and they are of unquestionable character.A man worth his salt will never ask a woman for money. A man with honorable intentions will go to a bank, friends or family. He will sell everything he owns to take care of his own business before asking a woman he is sincerely interested in romantically to take care of his mess. Of course a con man will play this kind of sob story and count on loneliness and compassion of his victim and will 'reluctantly' ask or imply he 'needs' the money - and she, loving that he 'needs's so will gladly hand over her bankrole to him and then be left wondering what happened after he's long gone.Hon, victimizers can't target you unless you are giving them somethign to work with. Turn your BS meter on high - this guy is full of it..

Toni..

Comment #2

Stefania9...Pianoguy remembers receiving emails along with some AWESOME EXTRAORDINARY PICTURES from a young lady in Russia! We communicated for a short time and without going into a long story, PG WAS SMITTEN....UNTIL... the lady asked me to send her a thousand dollars in cash in order to (supposedly) make the trip over to the U.S.A. so she could pay me a visit!That's where our communication ended.....on MY side!PleaseDON'T FALL FOR THIS SCAM...unless you happen to be connected to an international banking organization that doesn't "check the books" when euro withdrawals are missing!Pianoguy..

Comment #3

Don't do it! It sounds incredibly suspicious. I've heard about scams like this before. I can see your temptation to help him out since you've enjoyed talking to him over the last month but from a rational person's point of view, it does not sound legitimate. Think about it - what are the chances of this guy needing money from you before you've even met, the fact that he's in another country, him saying that jail could mean torture or death, sounds like a total scam to me. Don't let it happen to you again...

Comment #4

Did he happen to create a profile and then email you while it was under review, then delete it after you responded to him? I have had this happen a couple of times and it always makes me suspicious. Also, when this guy emailed me, he was supposedly an American (working out of the country) but his use of the English language was horrible. These are just a couple of things to look out for so that you don't get drawn into these situations.Don't send any money!YG.

Edited 6/7/2007 4:48 pm ET by yogagirl2006.

YG.

Http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/..

Comment #5

Oh boy glad I posted here! Not that I would have sent the money anyway cos am still paying off my medical bills and not much work here but he is online every night and saying stuff like he doesnt want me to cry for him while he's in jail etc etc..emotional blackmail. A few points here:1. If this is true and not a scam then he is STILL irresponsible to get into debt like that and has no money or anything to sell and after a husband who tried to bleed me dry financially and an ex who tried to do the same am NOT going down that route again.2. He doesnt live in the US or Europe and where he is I could believe that they could threaten summary imprisonment and not take installments. 3. PianoGuy's story is sadly all too common.

My ex was a loser and dumped me for a 20 year old who I am sure will not improve his circumstances in life and he'll be waiting tables till he's sixty. And btw..I am more toned than a lot of 20 year olds and could knock them out with my bicepsI think whether he is lying or not, he should not try to touch me for money and as you rightly say, romance and lending money do NOT mix and usually are the death knell of the former...

Comment #6

This is a side issue from this series of postings, but you seriously responded to the Russian woman emails? Eeks. Not to downplay your certainly charismatic personality and innate ability to pick up women but my FEMALE co-worker and I were getting emails from Russian women who wanted to come to the US to be our wives, and we were mock "fighting" over Anjelique. Thought we might be able to afford her if we split the cost. The internet is a crazy addition to our lives and a mild amount of skepticism is always good when dealing with people via this very anonymous form of media. That said, sorry the relationship (thru Match.com) didn't work out, PG...

Comment #7

Hi genetixgirl...To be honest...the Russian woman made contact with PG first. I responded and suddenly, there were dozens of pictures of a beautiful young woman who apparently have sincere feelings for me? In exchange, I sent her a copy of my music and voice demos...along with my publicity picture.Unfortunately, the moment Mari asked me to send her a money order for a thousand dollars, I knew this was a scam! It's not that I didn't believe her sincerity? But after falling for the same approach once before...and spending a great deal of money in order to obtain government clearances and a fiancee visa...I knew "the monetary request routine" pretty well!I honesty don't believe that ALL WOMEN who reside outside the United States are dishonest because (courtesy of these boards)...I've made some WONDERFUL friendships in Europe, Africa and South America. But when it comes to sending any form of currency, it doesn't hurt to be "more than a little cautious" until you're 100% sure that the money will be used for the purpose it was originally intended!Thanks for responding to my earlier post.Pianoguy..

Comment #8

Wow, this is a total scam. You said you've already been bitten twice. I'm surprise you'd even *think* about giving this guy money! Especially since you've never even met the guy and don't know him from a bum off the street.....

Comment #9


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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