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Why cant I go to match.com?

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My first question is: Why cant I go to match.com?.

My next question is: I have been dating (online dating with Match.com) my boyfriend for 3 yrs now, we are not young one he is 43 and I am 34, He is a musician very young and handsome looking, people think he and I are in our 20's, Anywho, I have recently found on his phone 2 pictures of a women doing a deed to a man that looks like it could be him (it only shows him from the neck down and of course the other in only a particular spot down there, I brought it to his attention and he of course said that there isn't anything like that on his phone, I showed him and he says it wasn't him, He says he "may" have took a picture of the TV. Now, he has said is arguments before that he wanted to be with other girls and he doesn't want a relationship, yet not letting me go, I love him very much but this is getting ridiculous, he is very jealous and wont let me go and watch him play "Music" anymore, he spends the night at friends houses when he does play, his very very promiscuous drummer friend who is almost 50 has been dating (online dating with Match.com) 20 and 21 year olds ever since he left his fiance of 8 yrs, and ever since then my boyfriend has been saying mean things and thinks I cheat and keeps breaking up with me because he thinks I cheat, could I be right in thinking he is cheating or what? I believe him but in a very strong way I don't because of things he has said and now this picture that looks like it is his body. what should I do? Please Help!!..

Comments (4)

Your question was: Why cant I go to match.com?.

<<he has said is arguments before that he wanted to be with other girls and he doesn't want a relationship, yet not letting me go, I love him very much but this is getting ridiculous, he is very jealous and wont let me go and watch him play "Music" anymore,>>.

WHY are you still with him?  Love is not enough, he has told you he doesn't want a relationship (thru Match.com) take him at his word and get him out of your life.  HE is not doing any of this to you, you are doing it to yourself for putting up with his bs.  He won't let you go?  I'm sorry that is BS.....He can't make you do anything that you don't want to do..

Why do you think you don't deserve any better than this?.

<< and ever since then my boyfriend has been saying mean things and thinks I cheat and keeps breaking up with me because he thinks I cheat, could I be right in thinking he is cheating or what? >>.

More than likely he is cheating, if you have given him no reason to think you are then him accusing you of cheating means that yes he most likely is.  He is putting it all off on you so you do not think he is, it is a perfect controlling tactic on his part, and you are falling for it.  My ex did that to me for years and turns out he was the one cheating the whole 12 years we were married.  He has you right where he wants you, get some self respect for yourself (if you did you wouldn't put up with it) so that you will end this "farse" of a relationship..

<<What should I do?>>.

Get this guy out of your life, the sooner you do the sooner you can heal and find someone that treats you the way you deserve to be treated.  This guy sounds like a jerk.  As long as you let him do this to you he will continue.  Is that how you want to live your life?  It's already been 3 years that is more than enough precious time wasted on him...

Comment #1

He doesnt want a relationship (thru Match.com) yet he wants you.  His actions DO reflect those feelings.  What do you want?  Do you want a commited relationship?  If so, you are not going to get it from him.  Love him all you want to..it is still not going to happen. So..where do you go from here?  You have to make a decision about fulfilling your needs with or without him...

Comment #2

Hi there! Im sorry that you have fallen for someone that cannot love you back. It has been 3 years and if he has said he cannot have an "exclusive" relationship, then you can believe that his heart isnt in it. How long will put up with being treated like a "play" thing? Because in his eyes, you are just someone he can call up when he is bored. Unfortunatly, he has probably told you that you cant come to see him play because he isnt truly "playing" his guitar, he is probably hanging out with random girls. Anytime he accuses you of cheating, you can believe that he has done it the night before and his guilt is coming to surprise you! As for the picture in his phone? You can obviously tell if it was taken of a television because the picture would be distorted and you couldnt see the image real well. If you are looking at a photo as if it was just taken then you can assume that it is of him.

If he had taken a picture of his "buddy the drummer" then he would have been open to tell you who it was! Im really sorry you are going thru this, but I think it is time that you move on. As hard as it is, you need to just let him go. You are probably a very insecure person right now, and it's normal to feel this way when you have put your whole life (and even though 3 years isnt all that long, it's still alot of emotions that you have went thru for that long) and love into someone that just doesnt care if you are around or not. Take care sweetie and I hope that you can overcome this and make yourself happy again! Men shouldnt be the only ones causing happiness in our lives!.

 ..

Comment #3

Don't waste another minute on this guy... he is sleeping around and you better be careful that you don't catch anything.  If after 3 years he doesn't want a relationship (thru Match.com) then LEAVE.... what are you waiting for... there are 3 billion other men on this planet... don't settle for someone who doesn't treat you with the respect you deserve.... he is just not that into you..

I know why he doesn't want you to come watch him play becauase he is messing around... it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.  Alarms are going off everywhere for me... they should for you too..

Kick his butt to the curb...

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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