Your question was: Why can't I go to match.com website?.
My deal breakers are:No smoking, drugs, addictions, unresolved attachments with other women, cheating on me, criminal history, habit of lying, children (I'm too young to go for a guy with an ex-wife or kids)I think it's a sufficient list, but one of the things I try to bear in mind (because it's been a problem in the past) is that meeting the minimum requirements doesn't make someone right for me. It just isn't an automatic disqualification. Welcome to the board, kei, thanks for the interesting question!! I hope you answer it yourself eh?..
Thanks Sure I'll answer:.
Bad attitude to women - and that includes the ex. If you come to me badmouthing your ex, I want nothing to do with you. You'd do the same to me..
Children used to be one, but my SO has a son. It really hasn't affected our relationship (thru Match.com) that much. His son's mother tried to make me run off but I didn't give her the satisfaction. Then I'd be without my great guy. That's what I was getting at with this deal-breaker thing - some we should hold frim to but some we should re-evaluate sometimes..
CL - Women of Color ..
I like the one in the article about the "lungers"..I have had a few of those..lol....
Definitely, drinking, drugs, as another poster stated, unresolved attachments to other women, lying by omission (tricky one to catch on to), neediness (calling way too much) or emotionally distant (calling way too little), still living with their mother or not living with their mother and she is at their house every other day cleaning or cooking or doing their laundry, "spidermen", crawling all over you before you get a chance to know each other, unemployment, no car, asking for money, bad temper or not having manners, poor hygiene....
I think I have pretty good ones. Ten years ago, I would not have had the "unresolved attachments to other women" on my list as I didn't know that was an issue; a sign of someone who is unable to emotionally committ to a relationship (thru Match.com) ( and therefore, I can not attract those that will emotionally committ because like attracts like).
Thanks for the questions...staying clear of the lungers..lol..
My deal breakers usually center around how I'm treated by the guy - no disrespect, no using and abusing, no cheating, no getting physical or smooches with other women, etc. I like to assess other types of deal breakers on an individual basis...
Good question. A deal breaker in my opinion should be things that show your life goals and values are miles and miles apart. A deal breaker should not necessarily be because he's 3 inches shorter than your ideal..
I agree, which is why I mentioned that I believe sometimes we need to relax our stances on specific things. For example, I could have lost out on a wonderful man if I'd dug in my heels about not dating (online dating with Match.com) men with children. As for things like not having a car, that would not be a deal breaker for me if I were single. I'm not looking for someone to drive me around.
One thing I'd like to add is that sometimes people use things as deal breakers athough they do the same or are in the same situation. When SO and I were first together, neither of us had our cars yet. I remember a girlfriend of mine asking if he had a car. I replied "No, but neither do I." Why should I have demanded something of someone else when I didn't have it myself? Now, at almost 30 and with my own car, I'd find it strange if I were going out with a man who didn't have his own...