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Why are girls on match.com so bitchey?

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My first question is: Why are girls on match.com so bitchey?.

My next question is: I met a very great guy a bit over one month ago. We have been dating (online dating with Match.com) and taking things slowly, we talk everyday on the phone but only see each other twice a week or so. It seemed like a nice healthy relationship! (both had rocky pasts full of jumping the gun)I was just getting used to him and we were getting to know each other better when he received a letter in the mail saying his ex girlfriend's mother wants to take him to court for custody over a little boy he signed his parental rights away for. OMG, WHAT?yea, I knew about the little guy, he lived with his mom a few states away, she remarried and the baby was due to be adopted by the new "daddy" cause "mommy" didn't want her son to have two fathers and be confused, so my new guy was ultimately turned into a child support fund only, with zero visitation or custody. Still doesn't seem to be quite okay with this.Grandma took the baby to the state she resides in and sues my guy for custody even though he technically has no rights over the baby anymore. Meanwhile, he contacts the exgf to find out what is going on and finds out she is 6 months pregnant with the new hubby's baby, and they are fighting everyday...he made her walk home from somewhere for miles and she almost had a miscarriage, and was hospitalized for the bleeding for a few days.

She calls my guy and asks what she should do...Granny had the baby, cause she knew how crappy her daughters life was lately...and now exgf has no where to go. no options.long story short, guy tells me about the dilemma and I suggest she come and stay with him.I felt horrible for her, she and the baby need a place that's safe and time to get on their feet...yes hello, my name is mother theresa.Not even thinking about long term damages here. NOW, I'm kicking myself, cause it's eating me ALIVE inside. I told him that I regret suggesting it, cause I am not comfortable with the idea, but on the other hand I feel horrible this person has no where left to go...as of now she wants to stay where she is and try to work it out with jailed-hubby...I don't see that happening, and granny doesn't want her daughter to live with her cause they had some disagreement.Am I a bad person for not wanting to be involved in this? Is it fair of me to bail on a guy with a crappy situation that isn't entirely his fault? HE insists he wants me to stick around and we can see each other, but I don't know if I can handle that. Is it worth the drama? we barely know each other and it's like no matter what I say it's pressuring both of us to &^%$ or get off the pot so to speak...any thoughts on how to handle this? jury is hung.

But it's not anyones FAULT, it's just life!! So someone tell me how to make it stop keeping me up at night with worrying...

Comments (5)

Your question was: Why are girls on match.com so bitchey?.

It sounds like your answering your own question.  if I super liked a guy, id  be there for him without hesitation.  if I have an urge to cut out, then there it goes lol but thats just me.  I dont think your a bad person.  you feel how you feel. ..

Comment #1

I would think twice about a man that gives up custody of his child..

So my new guy was ultimately turned into a child support fund only, with zero visitation or custody.  In most states this is not a fact.  If a man is paying child support he is usually allowed visitation, unless of course he has been abusing or molesting the child. .

The statement above "turned into a child support fund only", your words or daddy's?  He fathered the child he should pay his fair share..

It was your idea for mommy to move in, so now you have to live with the consequences..

IMO you need to really rethink this relationship.  You will always be dealing with this drama of a highly dysfunctional family.  There is a tremendous amount of baggage here do you really want or need it?.

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My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.

THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.

Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comment #2

I completely agree with Yankee. This is a relationship (thru Match.com) that should be strongly reconsidered - and a man who would sign away parental rights has absolutely zero integrity as a future parent, if that's important to you. This is a LOT of drama to lock yourself into so early into dating (online dating with Match.com) someone...

Comment #3

Believe me, it struck me odd that his ex would ask him to give up all rights to the child, and it took him months to come to terms with it, but they both believed it to be in the best interest of the child, he'd have ONE solid family, instead of all the bouncing around that goes on in visitation and what not, plus she moved 6 states away from him when she met her new boyfriend, now husband..

It would have been impossible to continue any kind of regular visitation, and he willingly pays a fair share of child support.  In my opinion anyway.  I think it has been hard on him, and he did what he thought was right for the little guy. .

As for exgf moving in, I guess there's always a chance it could all work out fine, and maybe bf can even have some kind of custody since the new husband may not work out in adopting the baby as intended..

I don't even know how or why I fit into all this, but bf swears up and down they dont get along as a couple, and are better as friends and only even still communicate because of the baby's needs.  To me it looks like everyone would be better off if I just left.  Yet he wants me to stay with him through this.  I find it hard to just walk out on him, he needs support through this as well, doesn't he?.

I guess it is tough being the nice person here, but I cant imagine the woman and her kids wandering the streets in squalor...its difficult for me to try to decide to turn my back on someone who is helping a person in dire need.  I just don't know.  It also feels like I'm trivializing any relationship (thru Match.com) we started together, by hanging myself possibly, because they might find out they can work it all out together.  Then where does that leave me?  Just don't know what to do.  I care for him already, enough that a month ago, had he mentioned this, I woud have left and never seen him again, but I'm hooked and it's making it difficult to decide; whats best for me, versus whats best for all others involved.....

Comment #4

Whats best for me, versus whats best for all others involved... you have to do whats best for YOU, not all others.  IMO you need to get out now, and quit trying to fix the situation, you can not do that, impossible.  You are going to end up hurt worse if you stay.  Find a nice man with no baggage..

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 .

My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.

THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.

Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comment #5


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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