Your question was: Who sings the song on the new match.com commercial?? I think it's match.com, a guy is doodling a girl.
Personally, I think he wants to break up with you and just doesn't want to hurt you. I think that he has already told you he doesn't love you, he doesn't want a serious relationship (thru Match.com) with you, he even gets uncomfortable when you touch him and show affection. To me, that says he's just not in love with you, not wanting a serious relationship (thru Match.com) with you, and just doesn't know how to end it..
I personally think it's impossible to move backwards in a relationship. It can't be like you just started dating (online dating with Match.com) because you haven't just started dating...
Breaks dont always accomplish what the person requesting the break thinks it will accomplish. It is usually difficult to go backwards. I see breaks as the first step towards breaking up..
It seems that his main complaint is that he doesnt want to feel obligated to do things like see you or be affectionate with you because he feels pressure from you to do so. He should want to do those things whether you make the first move or not. What that means to me is that he wants to be in control of the relationship (thru Match.com) from the amount of time you spend together to when or how he shows you affection - he made that very clear by extending his hand to you when he was ready to do so...not when you made the first move. .
A good relationship (thru Match.com) is not about one person solely deciding these things. No one can control the pace of a relationship...despite all intentions by men to do so. The pace of the relationship (thru Match.com) takes off on it's own and sometimes one moves faster than the other and other times it happens for two people at the same time. If you can deal with living on his terms then continue seeing him and wait for him to hopefully catch up to you while you have to hold back. Eventually the spark inside of you for him may die because it will not be fed with love or attention..
A guy that is really into you will want to hear "I miss you" or "I wish you were here" and he'll feel just as miserable as you if he cant spend the amount of time with you that he wants to. Your BF said he doesnt love you...so I dont know what you are trying to salvage...
Breaks *can* be constructive ... if the reason for the break is because the person (or maybe both people) need to work something out individually, something that is best done while not in the day-to-day of a relationship. .
But, this doesn't sound like that. Your BF wanting a 'break' sounds like the first phase of a BREAK UP. And he's doing it this way to soften the blow. .
Please, for your own good, consider it a break up. .
I said this on the other board ... from what you wrote, it doesn't at all sound like he even knows how to be in a relationship (thru Match.com) (ie, by contributing to it!) much less wants to be in it. He doesn't realize that you cannot go back to 'square one' ... relationships move forward ... relationships transition and grow ... it isn't always going to be that 'fun' feeling you have in the beginning ... you have to know how to BUILD on that. He doesn't. It sounds like he's the kind of guy who only enjoys the 'high' of a new relationship (thru Match.com) ...
Please, allow this guy to let you go graciously ... rather than prolonging it with 'breaks' and hanging out. .
'..We get back to my apartment and he says that he's realized the relationship (thru Match.com) has gotten serious and he's not ready for it so he wants his space and to take a break for two to three weeks. He told me that he wants things to be more relaxed in our relationship (thru Match.com) like it was in the beginning. He said he felt pressure when I would send him a text that said I miss you, or asking to see him. He also said that just because we're taking a break doesn't mean he won't call or we won't see each other, and that he feels we need to start from square one. He wants us to be able to have fun when we go out without the need to discuss our relationship (thru Match.com) (it got to a point where when we would see each other we would talk about an issue-but I only was seeing him once or twice a week). He said that he cares about me and will always care about me,but that I became dependent on him.
Translation from man-speak: 'Look, I've realised that I am not into you all that much, don't fancy you enough, don't feel that you are 'IT' for me and therefore don't want anything serious with you which would prevent me from seeing what other hotter greater better-fit things are out there and am too much of a coward to just come out and say it, therefore the blah blah blah'.
Sorry, but combined with his very obviously dwindling interest in you - this is the only feasible explanation of his behaviour. He has finished with you, he want to move on to pastures new, he has in fact moved on - and so should you. Sorry that it's not what you wanted to hear..
Edited 12/4/2007 6:54 am ET by newlyfoundsunshine..
It really does sound like he's trying to soften the blow of a break up by calling it a "break" which sounds more temporary. You have to take care of yourself in this situation, regardless of what he is thinking or feeling. No contact would probably be the best way to go. You could tell him that if you guys really are going to have a break you want it to be clean with no contact or attempts at being friends. Give him a specific amount of time say a month or whatever and tell him if he wants to talk about things then to give you a call. The ball is then in his court and if he doesn't call, you have your answer as to if he wants to be with you.
Girl, kick him to the curb!.
Why after all this time is he starting to give you the run around? Go ahead and look at the whole relationship, is he right, do you depend on him to much? Are you getting to clingy? Has the meeting and phone calls always been initiated mainly by you? Or has he change all this suddenly? Was he always happy to see or talk to you and then up and stopped? Did he use to confide in you on his daily happenings and then start to get evasive? Was everything going very well then all of a sudden something happened and everything changed (an argument, a misunderstanding, a big guys night out).
I know it is a little more direct than you probably want to hear but I think you should cut your line and start fishing for a much better catch because this one is starting to stink, and there is someone out there who will treat you with more courtesy and respect..
Last night, we saw each other for the first time in 10 days. We talked on the phone twice during those days, with me being the one to have to contact him first..
He already stopped calling and it seems that the only reason you saw each other is because you were persistent. What has he been doing all this time? Who has he been with? If you aren't talking about your daily lives and having normal conversations, this is not a relationship, it is him stringing you along as backup incase he needs it..
We get back to my apartment and he says that he's realized the relationship (thru Match.com) has gotten serious and he's not ready for it so he wants his space and to take a break for two to three weeks..
This sounds like just long enough to see if the thing with the new girl he met is going to work or not. .
He also said that just because we're taking a break doesn't mean he won't call or we won't see each other, and that he feels we need to start from square one.
So if you plan on playing along with this, my suggestion is to not make any attempt at calling him and move on. If he calls you then maybe he is a bit concerned he may lose you altogether, if not consider yourself lucky that you got rid of him now. Your on a "break", that means you can see, or date using Match.com anyone you wish. If there has been someone else sniffing around you, go for it, maybe you will get from someone else what this guy can't give. And if not the night out should be entertaining, and move on to the next guy. Enjoy the freedom, test the waters, and have some fun..
I am sorry all these posters are so negative. According to John Gray (Men are from Mars, Woman from Venus) there is a phase of dating (online dating with Match.com) where people question the relationship. I say give your man the space he needs. Use all your strength not to contact him, even though it is difficult. I think there is a good chance he will come back to you. He may need even more than three weeks, perhaps five or six.Good Luck...
Yes he's trying to let you down easily. He needs some space from you, permanent space. At this point, you can't really listen to anything he says, OK? So, don't go asking him to explain things to you. There is a bigger picture going on here. His actions have already proved it is over between you two.See it for what it is...the sooner you get on with your life the better. Take control of this situation, of your life.
Make a list of everything you are interested in life that doesn't have to do with him, and get to work on it... The breakUP will get easier and soon you won't even be thinking of him..
Also, I know it hurts, but be strong! You gotta focus on what you should do in order to move on. (hugs).
Hon, I have to agree with the others - he is 'breaking up' with you and hopes that telling you it's just for a couple of weeks and we can hang out will make it easier for you.
Men distance when they aren't 'feeling the love' so to speak - the fact that he has issues with basic affection, well that is pretty much a nail in the coffin. I am sorry. After a year you don't go backwards - you go forward TOGETHER or not at all.
Do yourself a huge favor and allow him to let you go - he doesn't want to be with you and I know that hurts. But once you process this and move past it, you will see that he is doing you a huge favor and allowing you to go find someone who DOES love you and miss you and all those things that he isn't. No contact is best - no need to prolong the inevitable any longer..
It does sound like he doesn't have that much invested here. It might be energy better spent to perhaps make a clean break and look for someone who can love you the way you deserve..