Which is better, Yahoo Personals or Match.Com?

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My first question is: Which is better, Yahoo Personals or Match.Com?.

My next question is: Is this what a "healthy" relationship (thru is? Or am I just not into him?.

I have been in long term relationships my whole life (including a 10 year marriage). When I meet a guy, I fall HARD. Each of the LTRs, when my man was not with me, it would be PAINFUL waiting to see him again. I would live for his phone calls and emails..

I took a LONG break from meeting anyoneone year.  But a few months ago, I met a guy and felt that instant "WOW". He is perfect for me: makes me laugh, affectionate, I've opened up, I trust him, dropped my guard, get excited when I see his name on my caller i.d. Totally attracted to him physically.

I do think of him throughout the day. But it's not painful.

In fact, I can give or take the email contact, texting and/or phone calls. It's not quite "out of sight, out of mind" because I DO think of him all the time. But again... it's not painful. I don't LONG for him. I don't feel a burning need to email him.

Or text him.  I do, just because I think I'm supposed to..

When I'm with him, I totally love being with him. I adore him. He brings out the best in me, gives me peace and makes me feel loved. When I'm not with him, I still think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread, and I know he's a keeper... but I feel okay without him.

Help me understand... me...

Comments (6)

Your question was: Which is better, Yahoo Personals or Match.Com?.

Hey! I don't know how old you are, and I mean this in the best, most positive way, but it sounds like maybe you've finally grown up ! I have a bit of the same problem as you seem to have - all of my relationships have had some element of excitement or drama that ended up being bad for both me and the relationship, and now when I date using guys and that kind of crazy element isn't there, I wonder if it's not right. It sounds to me like this guy is great and that you two are great together - the fact that you don't painfully miss him when he's not with you is a good thing - it means you're not dependent on him. If you want a long-lasting, healthy relationship, I say stick with this guy. It doesn't have to be painful to be real, or good! Now if only I can take my own advice......

Comment #1

Wow, reading both of your posts, it was as if I wrote them. I feel the exact same way.  If you figure out the answer to your question, let me know..

I actually am so use to guys wanting to sleep with me on the first or second date, and by the third, they are definately pushing.  I have been out with the new guy 3 times and he hasn't even tried anything (other than kissing).  I started wondering, what is up?  Then I started thinking, am I just so jaded that this is how I think?   That not rushing into intimate relationship (thru means that there is something wrong.  That, actually getting to know somebody first before moving down that path is a bad thing? .




Comment #2

It's sounds pretty darned nice to me - deep enjoyment without the angst. Can it only be love if someone acts like a bastard? Only if thats what you think you deserve..


Just go with it for now and see where it leads..


Comment #3

Can I take a guess that you are not used to feeling loved, cared about, and secure in relationships? Maybe you have a history of men who haven't treated you very well or you have fought with often? And more than once you have felt too attached to a man?It's a shock when getting into a new relationship (thru that is different from what you have been used to in the past... Whether for better or worse, it makes you feel like something is missing and you wonder if love SHOULD feel this way. The doubt you're feeling right now is the same feeling women get when they choose to stay in abusive relationships, they can't handle the doubt that comes with a relationship (thru that feels really good. I will also say that until about 6-9 months into a relationship (thru you may (or may not) feel a LOT of uncertainty that's pretty normal, it's a period when you have a really good feeling about someone, want things to work out, and sometimes work yourself into a paranoid lather wondering if it's meant to be or if he feels the same as you. Usually it's before you both say "I love you". I think you really like this guy and he likes you just as much.

I believe this feeling of yours will pass with time, just work through your doubts. It will happen. Good luck..

Comment #4

 "I don't feel a burning need to email him. Or call him. Or text him.  I do, just because I think I'm supposed to.".

That's not a good sign. Maybe you do like him a lot but maybe you are not very in love with him. When I am away from a SO I dont collapse inside but I do miss him. It is okay to miss someone. If you call him or text him because you are "supposed" to...then that isnt love...

Comment #5

When I have NOT been into a man, I tended to dread calling or going out with him - I'd have a nice or ok time with him, but really just didn't look forward to it at all. I also tended to not really want to return calls and sometimes just didnt answer because I didnt want to talk. I would later because I felt it was right to do, but I DREADED it. Men, I've been into, including current SO, I've never dodged calls, never really not wanted to see them, etc. If you like ths man, be willing to see what happens when we get used to substandard treatment, it's easy to mistake discomfort with better treatment for disinterest..


Comment #6

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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