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My question is: Where can I find discount codes for for 2011?.

My 2nd question is: I met a guy on Match who had initiated the contact about 2 and 1/2  weeks ago.  We exchanged messages for about a week and after few messages, he says that he is much better doing a one on one talk over dinner or over the phone as a lot of what he has to say can be lost in translation through email  I appreciated the fact that he wants to talk to me so early on.  He gave me his number and ask me to txt or call him or if I felt comfortable to give him my number so he can call me.  I told him I am a little conservative and I want the guy to make the first move so I gave him my number and told him that I look forward to hearing from him.  He finally called me 2 Sundays ago and last Monday he text me wanting to make a plan to meet up and we decided to meet last Thursday.  Before our 1st meet, we were exchanging funny text to each other to somewhat break the ice.  I should mention that I am new to the online dating (online dating with scene so I don't know what to expect.  I ask him a very innocent question and he says that he can tell I am a neophyte.  I said yes I am coz I just joined a the week that he had made contact.  He then ask me how many people have I had 1st meet and I told him that he was the 3rd one but I had a friend accompany me to the 1st 2 meeting and he was the only one I am meeting by myself so far.

So we finally met and had dinner at a restaurant he picked.  I am familiar with the place but let him set the pace; he ordered the appetizers for us and he let me pick the dessert.  There was a lot of flirting during the meal and I thought that we had hit it off really well.  During the conversation, he says something about finding the online dating very exciting and that he had done this years ago starting as early as the AOL era (not familiar with this one).  He went on to add that he could write a book about online dating (online dating with for all the experience that he had encountered.  I didn't put a lot of meaning to what he had said but I am starting to think that he might just be a serial dater since he has not followed through about "talking" again when he said that we will do so while we were saying our goodbyes.  I really like this guy and I felt that we had a chemistry.  Did I make a mistake by sending him a txt the following day after the dinner date using thanking him for it?  Should I just forget about him? ..

Comments (4)

I don't think he's necessarily a "serial dater" but I just have to say welcome to the world of online dating.  Many first meets, even those that seem to go really well don't go anywhere.  Even if there was flirting and all that, it could just be his personality.  It could be that while he was interested, he's not interested enough to pursue this.  He could be interested and still dating (online dating with others and is more interested in those others.  It could be he's interested and he's dating (online dating with others and too busy to get back with you.  He could be interested but trapped in his bathroom.  Or he could be not interested at all. .

No, you didn't make a mistake per se in texting him the next day but if it's been several days since then and you haven't heard from him, chalk it up and move on.  With online dating, it's better to take each meet one at a time no matter how well it went.  Early on, assume at the end of the date using that you won't hear from them again and if/when you do, it's great but if you don't you are not so disappointed.  You should also work on seeing other people at the same time.  This is a weeding out process and if you don't put all your attention on a single person, you are less disappointed if one of them flakes on you because you have others out there you are still interested in..



Comment #1

What *is* a serial dater, anyway?  I've never understood the term and why it's a bad thing.  Isn't dating (online dating with people serially until you meet someone who's right for you what dating's all about?.

I think what people really mean is more along the lines of habitual datersomeone who only dates to date, not to be in a relationship..

Anyway, you don't have enough information to know what type of dater he is.  If he were interested in going out again you'd be hearing from him, and sending him a text if he were interested wouldn't be a dealbreaker..

You barely know him if you've only been out onceso while you can feel attraction and chemistry you don't really know enough about him to know if you "like" him.  It takes at least 5 or 6 dates before you really even start to have enough information to make that determination based on reality rather than projection, etc..

Since you're a newbie to OLD,  my best piece of advice to you is to meet someone ASAP rather than talking, emailing and texting a lot before meeting.  Get to know the person *in person*, in other wordsnothing's real until you meet in person, anyway and it's easy to get caught up in a fantasy of what you *think* you know about the person..



Comment #2

If I understand it correctly, and judging from what some 'first dates' have told me, a serial dater is someone who moves on really quickly after a few dates. They are not really serious about dating (online dating with long-term, but give out the impression that they are. The 'dumpee' is left with the feeling that the person is looking for perfection and no one will ever be good enough. The serial dater is always complaining that no one is good enough, so rather than get to know the person they are with, they move on.I could be wrong, but this is what I have gathered...

Comment #3

Thank you all for your insights. .

Startover, I agree with your definition of a serial dater.  It's just too bad because I really did like this guy.  He was the only one so far who I had a physical attraction with amongst all the guys that I had 1st meet with.  I've only been on Match for 3 weeks and I've had a lot of contacts but I've been kind of selective.  If a guy can't even manage to put a full sentence together or misspelled a lot, I won't even respond. .

Vexer said something about assuming all 1st date using will be the last and if you don't hear from them you chalk it up to experience to avoid disappointments.  I will do just that.  This online dating (online dating with sucks sometimes.  Especially for a neophyte like me..


Comment #4

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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