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When you know you've found love...

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Tonight I realized that I love the guy I'm dating. We've been together for five months. We live over an hour apart. He's so good to me... he loves to pay for me (even though I force him to let me pay sometimes!), he calls each day and makes me feel desired for who I am. He even has fully respected my virginity and my choice to wait until I'm in love.

Prior to my meeting him, I considered moving closer to the city (just because I spend so much time up there.) Now that I've met him and all is going so well, I've considered moving up that way even more.I feel blessed to have him in my life, and I know that he is blessed to have me as I'm a great person who deserves nothing less. He knows this as well.Just wanted write a happy posting and ask for a little insight. Thanks in advance, and happy Friday!Pink..

Comments (9)

Your question was: When you know you've found love....

Congratulations! Also, good luck with the upcoming school year. I'm a teacher as well.About saying the words...many on the board will probably post that it's about saying them and not expecting to hear them back...that you need to tell the person because you want them to know how you feel. Although I understand that logic, sometimes I think if the words are said too soon, for whatever reason, it can certainly strain the relationship. You need to do whatever feels right for you...but think about seriously how you would feel if he didn't say those words back to you for whatever reason. If you're fine with that, then go for it!You didn't ask for input about the moving thing because of how often you are up there. Unless it's closer to your job and unless there are other clear reasons for doing so, besides mainly him, I would hold off. Good luck!..

Comment #1

I agree you both are fortunate to have found each other. I prefer to use the word "fortunate"... as "blessed" has too much in the way of religious overtones and I am not a religious person, if you dont mind.If you move, does it help with your commute...are you closer to work? Are your friends there? If you ever break up you can stay in that location or move. There is always flexibility.As far as "I love you": some men are tricky with this in that they like to steer the momentum of the relationship (thru Match.com) while some men are very comfortable with the woman expressing first. It depends on the guy. I usually prefer to wait until the guy feels comfortable with that. But, only you know your relationship (thru Match.com) and your BF, I dont.Lots of luck with your newfound love!..

Comment #2

I am glad things are going so well for you. I think if you love him and want to tell him, you should. Why should the guy have to be the one who says those things first? I don't think that is fair. It is just as scary for them to say it first as it is for women. Why not do him the favor of letting him know he is loved? The worst that will happen is that he won't feel quite ready to say it back yet, and there will be an awkward moment of silence, but it will still make him feel good to hear that he is loved. If you don't want to use the L word just yet, you should at least him know how much you appreciate him and the things he does for you. Good luck...

Comment #3

Thanks for your kind words. As far as the commute goes, it is farther from work than I am now. About half an hour. The reasons I've considered moving (initially and currently) is because there's not much to do here in the town I live in/work in right now. While I have friends here, I can't pursue my hobbies and often find myself up near the city. Also, I was single at the time and there are more opportunities to meet people up there (whether you're single or not, really!) I'm also a teacher, so I like to keep my personal and professional lives separate, which is hard to do here.

I just need to figure out what is best for myself all around.Pink..

Comment #4

<<I want to tell him, but I know that I should wait unless he says it, right? >>Why? W3hat if he is one of those who also believes in waiting for the other to say it first? Do you usually tell people what you feel when you feel it or do you wait until they say something. To me, waiting for a man to say I love you first is game playing. Not saying it doesn't change that you feel it. It can lead to some unnecessary anxiety. You feel what you feel. - say so.

If he isn't, it doesn't change how you feel does it? (It shouldn't)I learned a hard lesson a number of years ago and got reminded again recently - being open and honest in your feelings is absolutely critical to a successful relationship. There is no need to ever fear expressing love when it is genuine -m because it's not based on someone else's feelings for us. It just is. Tell him your feelings..

Toni..

Comment #5

Thanks for your reply, snafu. He does like to initiate things - when we meet, where we go, he says he'll call me each day, etc. I get to help choose things of course, but he clearly loves to be a leader, which is good for me as in past relationships I did EVERYTHING.Knowing him, he'd be touched if I told him I loved him, but I feel I'll wait awhile. Actions speak louder than words, anyways. Pink..

Comment #6

Thanks for your thoughts, rosewater. It is so important to feel appreciated, isn't it? The nice fact is, it goes both ways with him and me. Last month I wrote him a letter telling him how much I appreciate him and what I especially value about him. He loved it. Sometimes it's nice to have a tangible reminder. Pink..

Comment #7

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, tonitoons. I agree with what you said, and no, I'm not one to beat around bushes with what I think/feel. (In a good way, that is!) However, I also believe that *sometimes* you have to be comfortable and ready to say what you need to say. I'm realizing that I'm not quite there with the comfort yet, which is okay. Maybe this is because we're both heading back to school and it'll be harder to see eachother, and I'm a wee bit nervous about that (even though it worked out well last spring.) Or maybe my debate on where to move (stay here or move closer to the city) plays a hand as well. I really am not sure.Sometimes you just have to go w/that flow. Pink..

Comment #8

Maybe you can steer the conversation a bit in terms of how much it means to you that he treats you so well, respects your virginity, etc.  You really value him... and see where he takes the conversation.  But yeah, call me old fashioned but I'd want him to be the one to say the l word first.

,..

Comment #9


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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