Your question was: When men believe that forgiveness.
Not in and of themselves but they can be PART of the act of asking for forgiveness. And if someone is not allowing access, then sending something like flowers with a card,or a card or anything like this is an attempt to start the process.Forgiveness is a process - not just a talk, or a gift or even teh words "I'm sorry" but it has to start with something and a gift can be a segue to real discussion.Women have a tendency to give the silent treatment when they feel wronged - and allow NO access whatsoever until they are good and ready to say their peace. This is, to me, basically teh same as someone who thinks a gift will make amends for an offense - because there is no connection and no 'forgiveness' involved - it's 2 people reacting.I see nothing wrong with getting a card, flowers or whatnot as part of the process of forgiveness - but it cannot replace the communication and honesty that has to happen in order to move beyond the hurt. A 'thing' can't do that..
I once worked with a woman who regularly got flowers from her BF and then husband. He always sent flowers when they had an argument or he upset her. After a while she didn't even notice them because he did it so regularly that they didnt mean anything to her anymore. She stated that one day. And they were the most beautiful flowers too.I think that some men sent flowers or gifts to rectify the situation in one shot with the flowers and gifts, and like tonitoons said, it is a process, so those guys are misguided in their efforts. The conversations and soul searching should accompany the flowers not be the end all be all.
Yes, it can be seen as manipulation by men, but we do it too...just in other ways. You gotta start somewhere if you want to make up...
In this case it seems the flowers were supposed to accomplish a "mission" and I agree - gifts can't make up for bad behavoir. And you don't know what the circumstances are in this instance..
However sometimes a guy just likes to give flowers or candy to someone he cares about not because he hopes it will get him out of hot water but to show that he cares and is thinking of her. And there's nothing wrong with that. And sometimes if a guy does something wrong he does apologize, hopefully learn from his mistake, take his punishment, yet also sends flowers to show that he cares, is sorry, and glad she is still in his life. So not as the SOLE apology but as an accompaniment after the conversation.
You're also assuming, though, that it must have been the husband sending flowers after a fight. She's married, maybe it's an unwelcome suitor? If I was in a committed relationship (thru Match.com) or married and some man was overstepping his boundaries (because some people just don't respect) and expressing completely inappropriate interest in this manner and sent flowers and chocolates, whatever, then yeah, I'd either chuck the flowers or tell the cleaning lady to throw the flowers out, because they'd mean nothing coming from someone other than my partner. And I'd be pissed off about some guy thinking that's an okay thing to do. It's not..
But I'm just guessing too .
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