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What's the deal with the guy at the end of the LaSirene7 Match.com commercial?

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My first question is: What's the deal with the guy at the end of the LaSirene7 Match.com commercial?.

My next question is: I've been dating (online dating with Match.com) a guy for two months and recently we had a talk about the fact that he doesn't sleep over after we go out and then have sex, and how it made it feel. He brought some argument about how sleeping over moves the relationship (thru Match.com) forward and can cause issues and he wasn't sure about this because of things that have happened in previous relationships, and because he wasn't sure if we should get more serious because we have different ideas about things. Then he brought that he believes in living together and would if we get serious he just wants to jump right to that. Where as I don't believe in living together unless I'm engaged and getting married. I'm not sure what to make of his wanting to go from 0 to 100 with our relationship, especially when I wasn't asking for that or how we would negotiate a compromise if we get to this position. I feel like the relationship (thru Match.com) could move to being more serious, but I'm not sure if I could give in to the living together, without knowing where it was leading.

I don't want to give up on this guy as I think there is something there between. What should I do about this?..

Comments (4)

Your question was: What's the deal with the guy at the end of the LaSirene7 Match.com commercial?.

If you don't believe in living with someone, don't. If your partner can't accept that, then it means it's not the man for you because you shouldn't have to compromise your beliefs for a guy.That said, I think he likely told you that to continue to justify keeping his distance from you. He didn't say he wants to move in with you, he said he would IF the relationship (thru Match.com) got serious. And until then separate beds every night. Which means right now he thinks it's not serious, and he doesn't want to spend the night (any!) with you. And he wants to keep it that way for the foreseeable future.Personally, I would not be okay with having sex but not spending the night.

I'd say it made me feel cheap to never spend the night together after having sex, and that if the relationship (thru Match.com) is not serious then I need to slow it down for me and wait to have further sex.You can't make him be serious about the relationship. All you can do is determine if what he is giving you is enough and act accordingly...

Comment #1

" Then he brought that he believes in living together and would if we get serious he just wants to jump right to that. ".

You need to ask him what "getting serious" means to him.  Compare notes see if your goals and your desires about him match his about you and his long term goals..

If you feel he is rushing the relationship (thru Match.com) then you need to ask yourself why this bothers you and if it does bother you for solid reasons then you need to be honest with him..

I wished I would have moved in with my second exhusband as I wouldnt have married him...

Comment #2

A man who will have sex with you but balks at staying the night because it "moves the relationship (thru Match.com) forward" is either not a good guy to consider a relationship (thru Match.com) with, or a guy you maybe slept with way too soon.I don't see him wanting to go from 0 to 100, he said if you got serious enough then living together is what he'd want to do. He's not alluding to moving in together tomorrow (unless I'm reading this totally wrong).There is a lot of good in living together before marriage, but if you are concerned about wasting time with someone who may or may not want to marry you then you should stick to your guns. Tell him you respect his beliefs, but to you, "serious enough to live together" means engaged with a wedding date. I think that's a good compromise between a serious relationship (thru Match.com) and marriage...

Comment #3

>>A man who will have sex with you but balks at staying the night because it "moves the relationship (thru Match.com) forward" is either not a good guy to consider a relationship (thru Match.com) with, or a guy you maybe slept with way too soon..

I don't see him wanting to go from 0 to 100, he said if you got serious enough then living together is what he'd want to do. He's not alluding to moving in together tomorrow (unless I'm reading this totally wrong).<<.

ITA..

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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