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What would you do.... any opnion counts?

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I am 21 yrs old and have been seriously dating (online dating with Match.com) to a 20 years old guy for almost 2 yrs now. We are happily in love and we don't have any major issues. We trust each other. And my problem is not him, it's me. Before I met him I was talking to this guy I met at a party. He was cute and also nice.

I haven't hang out with him since I started dating (online dating with Match.com) my bf. We would talk on line or text message. Things are on platonic level with a little bit of flirting.fast forward... He ask me to come hang out with his friends and him. He'd been asking me since we meet.

Just to hang out. I'd always say No because I am afriad my bf would get jealous. He doesn't know the guy personally. He only met him once. I want to hang out with the guy because I consider him to be my friend.

Does people attracted to other people aside from their significant others? I think it's normal to be attracted to someone but don't follow with action is normal right?confused, ukia..

Comments (6)

Your question was: What would you do.... any opnion counts?.

If your attraction to someone besides your SO lasts longer than a flashing moment in time (like "he's nice to look at" - and that's IT), then you need to examine yourself and/or your relationship. You are still young and have many years to determine with whom you will settle down. You may be the one with the problem by maintaining contact with someone who is a threat to your relationship (thru Match.com) - that is negligence on your part. People tend to invite trouble into their lives. The one sure fire way to squelch this desire is to cut off all contact because, let's face it, you are not "friends" - friends dont secretly desire each other. You are in a surface friendship due to circumstances.

Then I would be able to determine if my relationship (thru Match.com) needed a romantic shot in the arm. If you cut off contact and still think about him, THEN you may want to re-examine the relationship (thru Match.com) and whether your BF really meets your needs or maybe it is just too soon for you to be tied down...

Comment #1

I guess, it is just the thought of grass is always greener on the other side. I keep on thinking what if's lately. I have never done anything with the other guy. I would not allow myself to. I love my bf and won't bear to see him hurt. I just wish my thoughts of what if's would stop.

Ukia..

Comment #2

The grass may look greener on the other side, but when you get up close you see that it's filled with weeds instead of grass. If you are feeling that the grass may be greener, then it might be wise to get to heaert of the matter. Well, are your what ifs associated only with this guy friend? If you have generalized what ifs, then it might be time to reevaluate your relationship. The what ifs you feel for this guy, are they like "in love" what ifs or sexual what ifs?..

Comment #3

I hang out with the guy finally to get over all the craziness in my head. I realise that I only like him as a friend. Don't get me wrong, he is a nice guy and a very good looking indeed but the whole time I was at his place hanging out, all I could think of was how great my bf is. I am actually glad that I hang out with him. My bf know that I hang out with him and he didn't mind. Thanks for your help.ukia..

Comment #4

Glad to hear things worked out for you. Yeah, when you cant get someone out of your head you do need to confront the situation and examine why that person has that pull on you. It could just be sex or it could be more. It's good that you took the initiative because that means that you want something more for your life than "what if". I'm sure he was very nice looking but if he doesnt make your heart pound, then the looks are useless. I'm surprised your BF wasnt concerned about you hanging out with him. Best of luck...

Comment #5

Thank you. I guess he just trust me. I am glad he trusted me. I am glad I didnt do anything I would regret later. Thank you so much for your help...

Comment #6


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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