What website can I go to that's like

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My first question is: What website can I go to that's like

My next question is: I recently met a wonderful man about 3 months ago.  Both of us are divorced he was in a 22 year marriage and me in an 12 year marriage.  Nevertheless, our meeting was completely unanticipated and unexpected...its as if he fell out of the sky from somewhere.  Ever since we met we have talked to each other every single day and see each other at least once or twice a week.  There is a 9 year age difference between us with him being the older one. .

This man is spectacular and truly has swept me off my feet.  From what he has told me he had a pretty dysfunctional marriage and was very unhappy.  This is the twist though at 3 weeks into our dating (online dating with he told me that he loved me and to this day he still continues to profess his love for me...wants to spend the rest of his life with me, he wants to do everything for me. whenever we go out he takes care of everything, he even is willing to accept my child.  He could have any woman in the world yet he falls in love with me?  What bugs me though is that I was extremely hurt by my exh.  He was a CHEATER.  I just don't know if he is being truthful with me nor do I want to get hurt again.  He knows about my situation and purpose of divorcing my husband.  I want to go for it but I just don't know if it's truly love.....

Comments (7)

Your question was: What website can I go to that's like

You'll know by his actions, not just his words. Since it's been such a short time since you've known each other, you might want to take it slow - which it seems you've been doing - until you are really sure..

>>He could have any woman in the world yet he falls in love with me?<<.

Why would you say this? Remember that some men like to prey on women's insecurities. Do not let him know you are thinking this. Remember, you could have any man in the world and you're falling for him, so it works both ways..

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #1

I agree with the other person. Take it slow. Only you can really feel whether he is true or not. The age gap is nothing. I am 29 and my husband is 47. We are so in love.

You need to feel something really incredible to stick with him. Don't just fall for him for all the "THINGS" he does for you with money. Fall for him for what he doesn't do for you out of love. Example: if he comes to you and for no reason whatsoever, he kisses you on the neck, or he brings you breakfast, or he really listens to you when you are talking about something important. You will know if he is true or not.


Comment #2

I posted a reply to this and it got deleted for some reason.  But I'll try again..

Words are great, but unless they are backed up by actions they are just words..

Your ex was a cheater and there are no guarantees in life that the next guy wont cheat, despite his initial intentions.  My first exhusband left me for someone else and my second ex husband didnt.  I felt comfortable about the 2nd one that way based on how I saw him interact with me and others alone, with his friends and in other mixed company. .

One reason why people cheat is because they dont know how to handle conflict or just dont choose to handle conflict or problems in a way that prevents cheating.  Some people act out, and need their boo-boos kissed instead of directing that energy back into the relationship.  if you feel more comfortable you can ask this guy some questions about how he'd handle certain types of situations to see for yourself that he'd handle things differently than the ex who cheated...

Comment #3

You've only known this guy a short time. Trust takes time. And his falling deeply in love with you so quick - well, it takes time for a true foundation to build. What is the rush? Is he pushing you for a commitment? That speaks to his neediness to be in a relationship (thru (alot of men have trouble being alone) rather than deal with his issues..

And you have a history of betrayal and hurt. It sounds like you haven't totally processed everything you've gone through and suffered. Give it time. And perhaps if you haven't done so already you might talk to a therapist to deal with your complex feelings..


Comment #4

I agree with Kei.  He's saying he's in love when he can't really know you, so it could be that he's in love with being in love, and all that you seem to be.  But then time moves on and the infatuation fades and you begin to know each other's weaknesses and everything shifts.  I think the advice to take it slow is on the mark.  But there can be a happy ending, too  my father fell in love with my step-mother I think the moment he met her.  She made him take it slow and he did and he eventually won her over.  That was 25 years ago and these days they go ballroom dancing every weekend.   ..

Comment #5

I may be very cynical yet... I just don't believe in instant adoration/infatuation/love/'I want to spend the rest of my life with you' at 3 months, in middle age. It just doesn't sound right. I am not questioning that you are perfect all around - but HE doesn't know that, does  he? How can he, after knowing you for less than 100 days?..

Comment #6

It's about the person... does he treat you lovingly, do you feel lovingly toward him. If it's just about what he can procure for you, that's not the makings of something that is satisfying long term.


Comment #7

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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