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What to do about Match.com warnings?

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My question is: What to do about Match.com warnings?.

My 2nd question is: So, I met this guy about a month and a half ago online and before we met, we would talk on the phone every so often. We didnt actually meet until we had been talking for about a month, and the first time we went out was great! So far, he is a great guy and seems very into me. He calls when he says he will (I know! My friends were just as shocked as I was, haha), we have no shortage of things to talk about, and we have a lot of fun together..

Recently, he asked me to come with him to New York (it's only a 4 hour drive from where I live) to visit his brother on New Years. While part of me wanted to jump at the chance (afterall, it's NEW YORK on NEW YEARS! How cool?!), part of me remains cautious about it. We've techincally only been seeing each other for 2 weeks...so isn't that a bit soon to be making trips by ourselves? It's not as if he's pressuring me to do it, but also mentioned that it was totally up to me, and if I wanted we could just stay in the area and do something..

I have a history of missing red flags, but is this something I should see as a red flag? I've asked my friends and they didn't think it was one, but said I should think it through carefully...

Comments (4)

I agree with bitemex - no, this is not a red flag.  It might be a little early for an overnight trip together, but it's just the timing.  It's the holidays, New Years is coming up and he mentioned his plans.  It seems to indicate that he'd LIKE to include you in those plans but since he even said "no pressure" it seems like he knows it might be a little awkward but he's throwing it out there.  He's even willing to change his plans to go out with you that night.  It actually sounds like a GREEN flag. .

If you are uncomfortable with the overnight trip, it's understandable at this point but I don't think his invite is any cause for alarm..

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Comment #1

I wouldn't go on the trip if I were you. I agree it's too soon. You don't want to rush into things, get more emotionally involved with him, and then find out he's not as great as it seem after the fact. At this point, it could also be dangerous to go on a long trip with him since you haven't really had enough time to verify that he's safe and trustworthy.I wouldn't stop seeing him just because of this though. It's likely he just thought it would be nice to have you on the trip and didn't really think about how it was rushing things. If he continues to rush things in other regards, then I think you should have a talk with him about it and decide how comfortable you feel after that. If it's been the only issue so far, though, then I would not assume the worst just yet...

Comment #2

Thanks for all your advice!.

I decided to wait till this Wednesday to make a decision, and I'm glad I did. After this weekend, I don't think I'm going to be hearing from him anymore, but it could just be me over-thinking things. I usually get a kiss goodbye and a "talk to you later", and this time around it was a kiss on the cheek and not much else. BUT, we'll see how the next few days pan out.

But, you ever have that gut feeling? Glad I didn't make that decision before anything happened!..

Comment #3

I'd be a little cautious about this, that's for sure.  To me, it seems like way too much too soon, and I usually find that's a red flag.  I would turn him down for this trip but keep an open mind as to whether it's a red flag or not..

Of course it may turn out to be a moot point if your gut feeling is right....

Sheri..

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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