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What should I do?

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Okay I like a co-worker, we hung out once and exchanged a lot of e-mail which suddenly stopped. I'd heard say before that she didn't want a boyfriend but at the time she was talking about someone else so I paid it no mind. But after she stopped e-mailing me. I sent her one last e-mail explaining my feeling for her and letting her know that if she did not feel the same I still wanted to be friends. and she replied as follows. Should I just move on or is there still a chance..

Edited 8/13/2007 3:43 pm ET by acheyheart..

Comments (16)

Your question was: What should I do?.

Hi Acheyheart,I think you should just move on. I don't think she wants to get involved with you 1) because you work together, 2) because she doesn't see you as a potential boyfriend. dating (online dating with Match.com) co-workers is trouble, anyway. You should start dating (online dating with Match.com) other girls!!!..

Comment #1

Sorry to say this, but she is letting you know nicely that she isn't interested. If she was, she would probably go ahead take the chance of getting involved with you - in spite of the fact that you are co-workers...

Comment #2

I really do like this girl, and she gave evry indication that she liked me, touchig and trying to make eye contact. I was actually the one looking away and avoiding contact at first. Did I ruin things by doing that?..

Comment #3

How do I always get stuck in the friend category I go out with a girl they seem to have a great time and then they just want to be friends what causes this...

Comment #4

I can do all of those things, too, but trully am not interested in a guy. It's just an ego booster and flirtation. Pretty much all girls do it with guys that are interested in them. I still think that there is not a chance left, and that you should start dating (online dating with Match.com) other people. If you pursue, you might come off as a stalker and she will end up hating you...

Comment #5

Have you thought about the fact that you might be trying too hard and come off as desparate? I usually lose interest in guys who try too hard and too fast. I am not saying you should play games, but you have to keep your cool...

Comment #6

Thanks for the info and I'll definately move any tips on how to tell if a girl really likes and is not just flirting?..

Comment #7

I don't know about other girls, but I am usually kinda nervous around the guy. I tend too blush and say silly things. It's for the guys that I don't care, that I can come off as over confident. But, again, that's just me...

Comment #8

Sweetie, I don't know why - I wish I did. Take heart, though - it's not because of anything you did or didn't do. And dating (online dating with Match.com) someone at your workplace really is risky - I've done it, and things were so awkward after it ended that I vowed to never do it again!..

Comment #9

If she were interested in you, she would make it known. She stopped e-mailing you, that should tell you something. I feel for you, but you can't make someone like you. good luck..

Comment #10

A romance should start out as a friendship, then get more romantic. You might be wanting to go too fast. Take it easy. That way you can build up a great friendship and relationship. It could either turn into a more serious situation if you are willing to go slowly and get to know each other. good luck..

Comment #11

I thought I'd pitch in my two cents in regards to your two questions; tips on how to tell how a girl likes you and why you fall into the "friend" category.I think the problem lies in your radar. Perhaps you are confusing women who are genuinely interested in you with women who like you as a person, wouldn't mind your attention and enjoy the ego boost, but wouldnt date using Match.com you. A friendly smile and a wink doesnt mean she is genuine in her feelings about you. If you have encountered women who have liked you and wanted to date using Match.com you...compare their demeanor and approach and behavior with this coworker and other women who put you in the friend category. You'll see that there is a difference. A woman who would like to date using Match.com you is interested in YOU.

Maybe she gets a little nervous around you, but that is not always the case. She doesn't call you at the last minute to go out or cry on your shoulder about a guy, and doesn't use you to make another guy jealous...

Comment #12

Okay ladies and gents thanks for all the advice, any on how I should go about asking a girl out? Not the same one, I don't wanna be a stalker...

Comment #13

The one you dont want to ask out is the one who you emailed your feelings to right? And she didnt respond? Yeah, I wouldn't ask her out.Men haved asked women out in all sorts of ways but the honest and direct approach is always best, like, "I was wondering if you would like to go out some time on a date." It's a low key approach, but very direct and there is no confusing that with "friends"...

Comment #14

Okay guys now that I know she doesn't like me, my feeling for her are not as strong honestly almost non-existant. I've noticed this alot if I think a girl likes me even if I don't like them right off if they keep flirting with I end up liking them. And when it becomes apparent that they aren't really interested in me then I no longer feel anything for them. Did I ever really feel anything or did I just settle?..

Comment #15

Well, your feelings are more of a "I think I could be interested in this person" than "I love her". You have determined that she doesn't like you, then, of course your natural inclination is to turn off your interest and look elsewhere. So, yes, she stimulated your interest, but you didn't have real emotional feelings for her, otherwise you would still have feelings even if you felt she didnt like you. It wouldn't be so easy to turn off your heart if you really cared. But Idont think you settled...that is a different set of emotions...

Comment #16


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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