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What is the point?

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Hello,I am just confused! I meet that I thought was a nice, fun guy (Mr. X) on a single parent site (Yes I know that is probably not the brightest idea, or way to start TRYING to get back out there! LOL) about 1 year ago. We talked a lot for a few months, laughed a lot, and then he just stopped calling. I had NOT started dreaming/thinking we where going to get married or anything but it sure was nice to have someone to talk to!! Over the age of 7 that is! LOL Even if she is very wonderfully behaved, and a GREAT kido!Anyway, Mr. X calls every few months and talks for a few minutes, and then that is it! I call him back in a few days and thank him for calling, we joke around for a minute then it is months, usually, before I hear from him again!I have not talked to him since about Christmas and he called out of the blue last week! I did not even realize who it was until about 30 seconds into it! LOL He joked around a little and played the standard what have you been up to Q&A, then he had to go. It lasted all of about 3 and 1/2 minutes!! In his words I just saw your number laying here and I thought I would give you a call and see what you have been up to.

That call last all of about 1 and 1/2 minutes!Now it is almost 1 week later (Yes I know that is really not a long time) and nothing, I am guessing it will be months before I hear from him again!!What is the point of calling me and keeping in touch all be it for just a few minutes every few months???I know Mr. X is not married because I have talked to 1 of his children before! He told me that whole story. He also told me (this last week when he called) that he had dated a woman for a few months but it was nothing serious and she was not good for his kids.I am just confused and wondering about it!! In my early 30's I am still confused, and understand/know NOTING about men!!Being a single Mom from the point of conception (just almost exactly!!), having a low thyroid problem and loosing a grand totally of 140 lbs., almost, (after fighting like hell for 6 years to find a DR that would actually help me with it!) I think I deserve to find a nice guy!! LOL I know poor me, it is SOOO hard and I just dont know where to start!I have my own business, and have it together (I think! LOL), but trying to get out on the dating (online dating with Match.com) seen after not dating (online dating with Match.com) for YEARS is just terrifying and I have no idea where to start or what to do! LOLMaybe I am just wondering about the whole Mr. X situation to much but really, why does he do this and what is the point?? Especially for just a few minutes?? LOLThanks for your time and help!txgrl74..

Comments (11)

Your question was: What is the point?.

Mr.X is weird and wishy washy. He doesn't know what he wants and do you want someone like that? Nope. So I wouldn't waste time thinking about him. This is advice I will also take for myself..

Comment #1

LOL! Well thank you!! I have wondered about that myself!! But like I said, it is SOOO nice just to have someone to talk to!Online dating (online dating with Match.com) scares me so bad, but I have no idea what else to do! Everyone I know is married! LOL..

Comment #2

Haha! Yah, I've been hanging out with my family, but at night especially when we're winding down, I like to go online. I'm sort of killing time basically until I go back to where I'm staying for the rest of the summer (where my boyfriend is... or soon to be ex, whatever... whatever he is!)..

Comment #3

Just one thought: it could be that Mr. X may just be a little lonely and every now and then needs to make some kind of contact with another human being. If his calls annoy you because they are so short and lack any kind of a sign of even a friendship, then you should tell him that. Oh, and you may want to stop calling him to thank him for calling you. I know you are trying to build something here but you are better off calling him about something interesting that happened to you that day, than thanking him for gracing you with his phone call for only a few minutes...

Comment #4

True! Well me do flirt when we talk! LOL And it does not bug me that he calls it just bugs me that it leads me to believe that he will keep intouch, but I guess he is in a long drawn out way! LOLI guess you are right maybe I should just call him to talk about something! I just don't know the rules of calling a guy! I was always taught not to call unless he does and if he does not call you back then you don't call at all!I do have to admit that we are both sarcastic! And yes it has a sexual undertone! But we have had the whole sex talk! And what guy does not joke around in some way about sex, and does not like a girl that can dish it out and take it too! Maybe I am wrong!I just don't know whow to gt past the whole now and then things and back to talking more regularly. I told him the last time that the last few times we have talked that I feel like I am letting him down or something. and he said now it's just..... Well I feel bad for not calling. But there was a pause so who knows!We stopped talking regularly because he jumped my butt for no reason. I know he said he was stressed about work and asked me to call him and I got where I was going,(My cars engen over heated and I had to take my Dad's truck back to him in NM after my car got fixed) and when I did he just went off and then it was like 3 months before I heard from him.Who knows but I guess it would not hurt to just call sometimes and tell him something!Man I feel so Man stupid!! I never was to good at playing hard to catch, but I have the flirting thing down! LOL And now that I have been out of the game I feel like I am in pre-school!..

Comment #5

Do you ever plan on actually meeting this guy? Or is he just a phone friend?You can call him about anything because you have chatted enough times for it to not be looked upon in a funny way by him. Guys do like a woman who does take the time to call him. they don't always like doing all of the work. But you'll find out how he feels if you do call. Do you both share any interests? besides sex. You can call him about anything that has to do with those interests, just a suggestion...

Comment #6

LOL! ya we seemed to have a lot in commen! I had hoped to go to see him this summer, but then we stopped talking. When I called he asked if I was still planing a trip!I think you are right I will try and just call him up like I used to do just any old guy friend and see what happens!I know when he called I was redoing my duct work in my house! And he mumbled something about not needing a man around! So I guess I can ask him how to do stuff! LOLHe seemed really nice and we hit it off, and I would love to meet him! I think it is worth tryng to save/fix! I have not meet many men in my life that I just automaticaly felt that comfotable with!Thanks for all your help with my Man stupidity!! LOL..

Comment #7

<<We stopped talking regularly because he jumped my butt for no reason. I know he said he was stressed about work and asked me to call him and I got where I was going,(My cars engen over heated and I had to take my Dad's truck back to him in NM after my car got fixed) and when I did he just went off and then it was like 3 months before I heard from him.>>Hi, Hope you don't mind but I read this and I had to say something here. Please don't contact this man again. If you two have only communicated by phone and he is taking his anger out on you already, you don't know really what this man is all about and by YOU taking a trip to see him is very dangerous. If he wants to see you, it should be near your environment so you will be safer (and not letting him know where you live).As far as being a single mom getting out there, I also did the online thing a few years back and let me tell ya, there was not one honest guy out there, seriously. One guy said he was a "few pounds overweight" and when we met for lunch he could not fit in the booth and was bleeding all during the lunch because he cut himself shaving! lmao.

Must Love Dogs is a great movie for you to watch. Take your time, meet people around you, get involved with your daughters activities and you will meet other single dads that share your interests. You sound like you have a good life going, so keep it up and be safe.Patty.

PATTY.

~Dare to believe in yourself~..

Comment #8

HUMMMM... Well that is true, I guess. I let it slid because he said he was starting his own business up. But still...I think maybe there was some one else! LOL Who knows.He has offered to meet in the middle to meet, and that would not be so bad. But I do thik that he should come to my town first.Anyway, you are right maybe I should just try closer to home. I just have been out of it for so long that I thought, "well if he is WAY over there then I can make a foul of myself and not have to worry about running into him"! LOL But it is not the same! I keep thinking of that book, "He's Just Not That Into YOu", which I am sure we ALL have heard of before! LOL But then again it was written by a man! LOLIf things work out and he and I can just simply be friends then that would be just fine with me! And safer as you say!I have tried to get to know friends of friends but living in the part of the state I do take it from me the single men must be all locked in a barn some where and you have to know someone on the inside to get the key!! EVERYONE here is married or it is just not what I am looking for!I never had this problem pre-kido! LOLSingle parent dating (online dating with Match.com) sucks! LOL..

Comment #9

The only good thing about single parent dating (online dating with Match.com) is at least you have your daughter to come home to and give your love too. Not the same love we're all looking for but it's not as lonley I guess!Hang in there. I found with my last bf that when I stopped looking, he was there. OK, so he turned out to be Mr. Wrong, lol, but I gave it a good run while I could. Now I'm back out there in that world of single parenthood like you looking for the keys to the Barn hoping not to find a horses arse, heehee.Good luck and hang in there!.

PATTY.

~Dare to believe in yourself~..

Comment #10

LOL Oh I have found all the donkeys shall we call them nicely! Or Jacka## for those who don't! I am hanging in there and when I find the key to the barn of good ones I will draw a map for you all!!! LOL..

Comment #11


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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