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What is the difference between e harmony and match.com?

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My first question is: What is the difference between e harmony and match.com?.

My next question is: Hi, I posted a week ago about bringing up exclusivity with the boy i'm seeing now, and i've been thinking about what I want to say/ need from the relationship, and wanted some imput. the only thing that has been established was near the beginning (two weeks in) he brought up the fact that he's not dating (online dating with Match.com) anyone else, or hooking up with anyone else and would be offended if I did.... We're still talking regularly, he suggested doing another double date using Match.com with two of our friends that he said he wants to make a couple. the good thing, in my mind with that is that they're both second semester seniors....

Ok so here are the things I wanted to talk with him about:.

1. maintaining staus quo - seeing each other three times a week, talking almost every day, keeping time for work, friends, family, etc. (basically say I like the way things are going now & i'm having a lot of fun with you).

2. exclusively dating (online dating with Match.com) - meaning dating (online dating with Match.com) no one else, hooking up with no one else (same thing as bf/gf or no?), formals with friends are totally fine.

3. I know he's a second semester senior, but in all honesty, NYC is the best place he could be for LDR it's not that far away and easy to get to, my roomie's doing it with her bf now, and one of his best friends is going to be doing it next year with his gf, he'll probably be back visiting his frat, friends, etc anyways for big events. I haven't ragged on him to see me constantly, or needed attention from him - and I won't change that regardless of if he's in nyc or not....

What do you think?..

Comments (4)

Your question was: What is the difference between e harmony and match.com?.

Everyone has their own style of communicating.  If I were in your shoes I'd probably bring each item up I wanted to address one at a time over a period of time - not all at once if there was a chance I could overwhelm someone.  If you know him well enough to know that he would not become overwhelmed by your list...then handle it as you see fit..

Just remember - this is a relationship, not a business arrangement.  What you want to avoid is him agreeing to all of the things on your list and then one day you are left with a big surprise when he tells you that he didnt want to do all of those things later on...but he agreed to the list.  What you want to see is his drive for wanting to see you and spending time with you.  You want to see his passion for YOU.  This way you dont waste your time with him.  A list may circumvent that opportunity.  Momentum should be building at this point in your relationship (thru Match.com) and that momentum is achieved through romance..

If you were further into the relationship (thru Match.com) then I'd see it differently because more mundane topics are covered as time moves on...

Comment #1

 My suggestion would be to NOT whip out a list, and read off the things you want from him. Not very attractive. Knowing what you want is PERFECT. I always suggest people to write down everything that they want from a specific situation. I like that you know what you want. To me, it's almost TOO specific (specially on how many times a week you want to see him), but...

Do you know where he stands with being exclusive with somebody? Is he looking for a g/f? Has he had successful r-ships in the past? Is going to be able to nurture your womanly needs, sexually and emotionally?.

 Some guys could get scared away with 'the talk', but... if you're pretty confident he's down, then go for it.

 Have FUN!!!.

 Z..

Comment #2

Hi Collegefurl,.

 .

I hope I'm not too late, but it's good that you know what you want to communicate.  Be open and honest and I'm sure he will appreicate that!!  Try to think of his style of communication and be somewhat accomidating.  It might help him understand you better..

Good Luck,.

 .

 .

           ..

Comment #3

Yes take your time introducing your entire agenda.  Get to know and care for each other first. As that happens each will want to please the other which involves making compromises.  And you may come to discover he has his own list of items!.

,..

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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