Your question was: What is the dating website that has commercials that says they are better than match.com or eharmony.
You are really beating yourself up over this guy!!! Let him go. He doesn't seem to getting anything!!! I think you want to hear what he has to say just in case he might give you that perfect relationship (thru Match.com) you want from him. He hasn't so far and you've been really unhappy. Find some really close freinds and stay close to them over the next few weeks. You will make it through this..
Oh blairbear...we knew this was going to happen. We knew that you would start to hurt when he would call or text his reply to your gift.
He doesnt want to accept that this is over because it must be fun for him to screw with your head. If he doesnt feel the chemistry, tension or whatever it is that you two felt together and it isnt fun anymore...he'll move on to someone else. There are guys out there who are "mindf*cks" - the chase, the screwing of the girl's mind is what turns them on...not the actual woman or the relatioship. You could be entangling with one of those guys. They never really come around to being normal..
If his effort has been crap it is because he wants it to be crap. There is a limit and a point and a "point of no return". If you feel that you have reached that point then dont acknowledge anything about him anymore. No more gifts no more calls...because he doesnt appreciate you..
I know...romance is nice. We all like it and we all miss it when we dont have it. I havent experienced good romance in many years. Maybe you can dream about romance with another guy? I'm sure you know other guys who you could be interested in...
I haven't responded. I know I just need to get over this hump. Part of the problem is I've been a little hesitant to really speak my mind and state exactly what I expect and what I want, which is atypical of me, really. The reason I've not done it this time and have relegated to dropping vague hints is.. well, the friendship thing is new and I didn't want it to be awkward. .
But I shouldn't act any different, I should be just as honest and direct, no matter what kind of relationship (thru Match.com) it is. As I said, he is not evil. He is not using/mindf*cking. Just a little background I guess in case the impression was different, we have known each other and shared many things, this isn't someone I just met 2 months ago etc I just wanted to end it bec that's what I do when I get frustrated, I just drop people. It's just easier that way of course. Which can be a good thing and a bad thing. .
Thanks for the background info - I didnt mean to insult him. It's just that he's sounds like he is not good for you based on your posts..
Are you intimidated by him in some way? This sounds like you are scared to be yourself: "Part of the problem is I've been a little hesitant to really speak my mind and state exactly what I expect and what I want, which is atypical of me, really." .
"But I shouldn't act any different, I should be just as honest and direct, no matter what kind of relationship (thru Match.com) it is."> You definitely need to be yourself. If a relationship (thru Match.com) is going to work he has to have it with you, not someone who you are trying to be. .
But...what if you are yourself (demanding and all)...and he gets pissed off or annoyed...are you afraid to be yourself because he could reject you as a person? Okay...so what if he did? All it means is that you two were not right for each other - that's all..
What have you not communicated to him that you want from him? ..
I'm myself. A couple of times even since we started talking again a couple of months ago, I pointed out a couple of things and he corrected them right away.. For example, I asked why it took so long to text me back and he said sorry he's just slow but then from then on, he'd text me back right away. Another time I said he can say hello first sometimes if he wants, and then a few days later he did exactly that. So he is very good about correcting himself and essentially doing exactly what I want when I state what I want lol.
It's just that the transition to friendship is sort of weird as I've mentioned. That's the reason I feel like I can't blatantly state things as I did before, but I should not feel this way. Whether I get what I want or not, I feel better just having it out there bec people cant read minds plus then there's nothing to misinterpret when you're direct..
So as stated above, he is very good about stuff. My problem is I feel like he is hedging, like not letting his real feelings go. He is very guarded. I guess we both have problems and we just need to mention the elephant in the room (I'm very bad with American phrases, is this correct?) which is we both still have romantic feelings obviously and do we go for it OR put it aside..
We both said we want to be friends, but.. it's just not that way. I think we're both afraid to say what we really want. .
Edited 3/15/2008 2:56 am ET by blairbear89.
Edited 3/15/2008 3:26 am ET by blairbear89..
Since he does respond to you when you state what you want...why not ask for what you really want? If you both have feelings for each other then why not date?..