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What is the cost per month of Match.com?

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My question is: What is the cost per month of Match.com?.

My 2nd question is: So, small amount of background.... About 9 months ago I was in a Horrible relationship (thru Match.com) for 7 years... that ended I moved along to this guy that seemed like prince charming.... he broke my heart 3 months later.... I thought the world Might end over him b/c he treated me like a complete princess- it was crazy the amount of happiness I had with him.  He taught me what I wanted from a man, and what to expect from a man- and NO less.  We are now Best Friends... 100% Its hard to explain, but there are no romantic, etc.

But, I'm very glad he's come into my life. .

 Right after him I went into this weird weird phase where I went out with, talked to, flirted with a number of guys (not sleep with though...) I couldn't stand any of them.  They weren't Him.  They didn't treat me like he did... Everyone was compared to him- not on purpose, but you know.  .

Two months ago I met this guy- who lived 3 hours away.  I was Blown away with him.  I knew the moment I met him that I'd fall for him.  But, at the same time as much as I liked him- I couldn't open up to him.  I don't know why... I suppose b/c the other ppl i'd opened up to hurt me... issues.... He had been in a similiar situation with the long term- but hadn't really dated much between.  He said he didn't want anything serious- so that kinda was a big hurdle b/c I did'nt want to open up and then just get hurt.  Despite all that he pushed for us to be in a relationship- and we were for a month.  I had met and spent a ton of the time we did get to see each other with his family and friends- who are all great- they all liked me and were sooo wonderful.  We had very briefly played with the idea (and when I say we I mean him) of moving closer together in the not so horribly far away future- but future nonetheless.  So last weekend I went to see him- and we literally were with his family the entire time which, it's hard to be all flirty, cute and affectionate when you're with his parents a big chunk of the time- which, we were having fun- I was fine with it.  We ended up watching the NFL draft with his father at his parents house and spent most of Saturday doing this- Like I said I did not mind it b/c we were all joking around and having fun, and the Whole time we're sitting there he's going on and on to his dad how nice it is to be with somone who likes sports, etc.  how cute I am, etc.  just very complimentary. .

Saturday night we ended up going over to one of his buddies houses and I got a call from the ex/good friend- he needed some quick advice about something.  He was visibly Not happy that I took the call- but didn't really say anything about it.  Then on the way back to his place he started talking about how the distance between us sucks, "it is Fine..." - we talked before we fell asleep (that's typically like my favorite time with him b/c we would have great conversations then).  Everything was really left on a decent note... I thought..

So Sunday I went to church with him idk something was weird.... I went home afterwards... I just had an odd feeling.  I call to let him know that I was home and he didn't answer- so I texted him and he wrote right back- so I know that he had the phone and was just avoiding my call.    Sunday night we finally talk and at this point I know something's up.  And he was very very nice about everything but broke up with me.  Says that I deserve someone that isn't so far away- that I'm amazing,wonderful, easily the best girl he's met in a Long time etc... all that crap that is supposed to make you Not cry.  I was fine- I mean, yes I had feelings for him- but it'd only been a month.  He wanted for me to "remain a part of his life" idk, I guess that's a fancy way of saying a friend.  So, I was sad... but ok.  Couple of days pass and I am getting ready to start my period at this point and I'm a Mess.  Like couldn't stop crying.... So I consult a couple of friends and they say- if you feel this strongly about him you need to talk to him- just once lay it out there.



Friday I took the day off- which is RARE for me.  I had an away msg up about it and he wrote to me something about it. and I explained why I took it off and idk, just a brief conversation.  The next day (yesterday) he knew I was going out and we both LOVE music- so we started a pretty long-ish conversation about music, people, going out and then my family oddly.  Oddly enough he was asking me some stuff about some "important" things (my brother moved like across the country on Friday and my parents neverending drama)  and I was able to open up to him more than I could when we were together (i never talked about it b/c I didn't want to make him think I was whining about it... and I wasn't necessarily yesterday, but he made me feel a tad better).  It wasn't a long drawn out conversation- but just IDK... it was nice. So afterwards I bought a CD yesterday on his recommendation and I texted him to tell him it was great- and he didn't reply back... which was idk... weird...

Idk.  What's kind of funny is I went out with a good friend from work for her bachellorette party it was me and 2 girls from "back home" (which is the next town over from where this guy lives) and one of the girls went to high school with him- and like is in a similiar group of friends... it was kinda funny..

I just don't know what to do.  I'm pouty because I want him.  I've already started back on the talking to new guys kick and it is pointless- I'm a cute girl and I know that I can get guys to like me (how sick is that statement)- but not the guy taht I want... and I know it'll just be a random string for awhile until I find a new one that blows me away again... and honestly- will I just be all closed up again- and he'll get tired of messing with me and leave me too. I don't like being like that, but at the same time I'm pretty insecure in being alone. .

This guy is.... great.  He's the kind of guy I want to be with.... intelligent, funny, fun, very very similiar interests, very similiar values. He really did like me- when we were together it was so cute how excited he would be knowing that I was coming up.   I don't know if there was someone else that was closer that he found... I don't know. He said "I didn't want this to get to the point that you hated me..."  I don't know what he meant by that.  I don't want to be with someoen that doesn't want to be with me... but I want him. .

What do I do?.

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Comments (9)

Ok, that was a really long post..

But basically if it's just driving you nuts pining after him, why do you keep talking to him?  i'd cut it off, personally.  but actions like that take confidence and guts, and not many people have that..

Your post kept saying that you want him.  well, sorry to break it, but that doesnt really matter because he doesn't want you and you cant make him want you. .

So the answer for what to do is pretty obvious.  let it go and move on.  I mean, what did you think it was going to be  -"call him every other day and try and convince him you are his one and only!" ?  you cannot make someone feel or realize anything..

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Comment #1

I Totally agree and get what you're saying.... I'm pouty and want him back Yes... I know that's NOT going to happen.  Totally get it!  I guess what I need to know is HOW to move on in a healthy way... without this random string of guys... I KNOW that's not right- but at the same time I don't know that if I can completely move on without some kind of distraction at this point in time.

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Comment #2

I dont see anything wrong with dating (online dating with Match.com) around, esp I think you said you're not -sleeping- around...

Comment #3

"He said "I didn't want this to get to the point that you hated me..."  I don't know what he meant by that. ".

When a guy tells you that .. take it in .. and listen to him.  That statement means he was going to hurt you in the end.  He probably knew he didnt want a long distance relationship...

Comment #4

What I noticed in your post is that you jump from relationship (thru Match.com) to relationship.  You break up and immediately start the dating (online dating with Match.com) man hunt again.  That is your problem as I see it.  You need to take some time off from dating (online dating with Match.com) and relationships.  You need to get better acquianted with yourself.  Start doing things for you.  Go out with gf's, family, vounteer, keep your self busy and allow yourself the grieving it takes to get over your broken relationships.  Take this time to really deep soul searching and find out what it is you really want in men and dont want.  It seems that you fall in love too quickly or think you do and possibly they were not really the ones for you or you really didnt love them like you thought you did.  I believe that if you take this hiatus from dating (online dating with Match.com) you will learn alot about yourself and when your head and heart are healed they will let you know it is time to start the dating (online dating with Match.com) scene again..

Good luck to you..

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My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.

THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.

Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comment #5

What do you do?  Move on..

I don't get why you would keep contacting him when he's told you flat out it's not going to work... the more you contact him, the more desperate you look.  Not very flattering on you.  Darlin', there are 3 billion guys on the planet to choose from.  This one doesn't want you; he's made it clear.  Stop contacting him and move on to someone else.  And when you do find someone else, don't make the mistake again of texting and calling non-stop. Let the man do the pursuing..

Good luck!.

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Comment #6

"but at the same time I'm pretty insecure in being alone. "That is the problem in a nut shell. You must be happy with yourself and your life before finding that with someone else. Your partner should complement your life not complete it.Stop dating (online dating with Match.com) for awhile, work on getting your life in order and being happy with that life and with yourself (without a boyfriend) when you do this, you will have a better chance of attracting someone that will complement that life. Like attracts like. One of the most attractive qualities in another person, is someone that is secure in who they are, and the confidence they have in themselves and their life...

Comment #7

How is your self-esteem? It seems like it may need a boost! If you agree, there are self esteem boards on ivillage that may help you.Jen..

Comment #8

In my defense, I'm Not necessarily contacting him... of the 3-4 times that we've spoken, it's been initiated by him all but once.  Also, I kind of know not to do the constant text/call.... and I don't do that- nor have I ever with any guy I've been with.   .

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Comment #9


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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