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What is mind, bind, find, on match.com?

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My first question is: What is mind, bind, find, on match.com?.

My next question is: Okay..so I met this guy who is in the same profession at me so he understands everything...the busy schedule....ect....we have a lot in common besides that as well...and at first I thought we were good friends...and..he went out on just one date using Match.com with this other woman...and one week later...when we were hanging out...he ends up making out with me......and he admitted he likes me HOWEVER.

"since he already went out with the other woman once before he has to continue seeing her until she does something wrongand only then can he stop seeing her"......???????????.

What does that mean?? In the meanwhile...the last 3 weeks after all this happened he has still kissed me occasionally.....and sees me everyday since we work around the same area........and sees the other girl once a week.......what do I make of this??...should I not let him do anything until he ends it with the other girl? should I tell him to end it with her? I don't know...i am so confused since I do like him...and he is the first guy I have so much in common with........

Comments (9)

Your question was: What is mind, bind, find, on match.com?.

Listen girl I know how you feel... this guy and I.. omg, we have so much in common.. we laugh all the time, share everything, etc... but he is confused.. one sec is so so into me, and then another not.. I know what I want and it is *not* someone who is wishy-washy.  He is not giving me what I want so that's the end of it, bye-bye to him.  and it majorly sucks cause he does have qualities that drive me crazy (in a good way lol) but it's just not all there so he is cut off for sure. .

Edited 2/7/2008 1:50 am ET by blairbear89..

Comment #1

Sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too.  What kind of ridiculous dating (online dating with Match.com) philosophy is it that he will "date this other woman until she does something wrong and only then can he stop seeing her"???  If he really wanted to date using Match.com you over her, he doesn't need an "excuse" of her doing something wrong.  In the meantime, she gets dates and you get secret makeout sessions and hidden kisses.  Niiiice..

No, you do not "tell him to end it with her" because you are not his girlfriend.  You are his secret make out buddy that he keeps on the side until the girl he is REALLY dating (online dating with Match.com) "does something wrong".  He is still doing this and keeping you around because you LET him put you in this back burner position.  If you don't want to be second, then tell him so.  And yes, you do not let anything more happen until/unless he breaks up with this other woman because he is only keeping you around as at best a back up plan or at worst his "girl on the side"..

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Comment #2

Hi Kerry,.

The other posters have nailed this one on the head.  No one deserves to be second.  And his dating (online dating with Match.com) philosophy does sound crazy.  Hold back and let him know that you want more than he is giving you.  Remember that he might not be around after this, so be sure you will be okay with this.  I know this sucks, but it is better in the long run..

Good Luck,CL-Krist..

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Comment #3

"since he already went out with the other woman once before he has to continue seeing her until she does something wrongand only then can he stop seeing her"......???????????.

"what does that mean?? ".

That means he is playing you...

Comment #4

It sounds like he's not ready to be exclusive with either of you at this point.  That's what dating (online dating with Match.com) is all aboutfinding the best fit for you.  If you enjoy his company, why not continue dating (online dating with Match.com) him and date using Match.com others as well, as he is doing?.

I think he may not be expressing himself wellperhaps he means that he doesn't want to be exclusive with you or her until he sees evidence of incompatability from one of you?  That makes sense to me..

Sheri.

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Comment #5

<<I think he may not be expressing himself wellperhaps he means that he doesn't want to be exclusive with you or her until he sees evidence of incompatability from one of you?  That makes sense to me.>>.

I could see that if the guy and the OP were going on DATES or going out or anything.  All they've done is make out once and steal kisses for the last few weeks.  If he were casually dating (online dating with Match.com) both women, I'd see no problem here but because he seems to only be dating (online dating with Match.com) the one woman and making out with the OP, that's where I see the issue.  JMO.

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Comment #6

Ah, that may be.  I made the assumption that in order to make out, you'd have to be out on a date using Match.com with the guy, silly me ;-)!.

Sheri..

Comment #7

LOL!  You could be right,however.  If they are going out on dates and making out and kissing on the dates, but he is still dating (online dating with Match.com) the other woman, no biggie.  As you like to say, it's tacky if he's making it public knowledge he's dating (online dating with Match.com) the other woman and/or talking about the dates BUT because it's early on in the dating (online dating with Match.com) process for everyone, tacky doesn't mean that he CAN'T date using Match.com both of them.  But I guess for some reason I read it that he was dating (online dating with Match.com) only the one woman and just hanging out/making out with the OP.

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Comment #8

He obviously is still seeing her because he WANTS to keep seeing her. Has he even taken you out on a date using Match.com yet? It sounds like you are his play thing on the side while she is the girl he is actively pursuing. At BEST, he likes you both and is not sure what he wants. I would make it clear to him that he has to choose between the two of you. Otherwise, you are just going to get stuck as his little play thing...

Comment #9


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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