What a nightmare! What might be a good idea is to see if you have a legal leg to stand on with her in any way. Contact an attorney who is familiar with libel, slander, intrusion, invasion of privacy and defamation laws in your state. See if there is a legal way to remove the blog and prevent her from posting more information..
Are the things posted about your relationship (thru Match.com) things that you never discussed with him?.
Of course he'll be aggravated but I'm sure he confides in friends too, so he needs to be reminded about that. What might be a nice idea is if you both agree that if there is a problem that you go to each other first. If you agree to do that he might become less defensive about it because he'll know that you'll handle things a little differently in the future..
The advent of the internet has made things like privacy and confidences a memory of days gone by. Gone are the days when you could sit around a table with your girlfriends and shoot the breeze about life and love because all it takes is one crazy person to make a mess of your life...
Welcome to t he board!!.
Yucky situation to be in!! This woman sounds like the type that wants her way or no way. Talk to your man about this and see how he feels. You say he doesn't believe what he read, but those were your feelings at the time and now they've been taken out of context. Ask him if there is anything you can do to help make the situation less stressful. And then just stay away from her!!!.
If she goes to a lawyer, then she needs fully expect a counter-suit. She started all this with her initial "anonymous blog" talking about the friend and what she did in the first place. The other girl retaliated in a nasty way, but the OP started it..
To the OP, there is not much you can do besides apologize to your boyfriend and tell him that you've cut this woman out of your life and you want to earn his trust again but in order to do that, he needs to give you a chance and if at all possible stop throwing this in your face. Say you realize you made a huge mistake but that you've learned your lesson and you'd like the chance to prove that to him..
Great advice! I love the idea of coming to each other instead of letting the situation get muddled amongst our "friends". My boyfriend and I communicate very well and I don't see why we can't get through our issues together. As for the lawyer, I thought about that. I'm not willing to cough up the expense or go through the trouble just to get a myspace blog removed. I sell poetry books through MY myspace page and she put a link up on her site to direct people to MY site....LOL...more exposure and business for me because of her! I've erased everything even slightly related to her off my site and I don't speak to her anymore. She's gotten on my boyfriend's "friend's list" and sends him comments and things trying to make me upset.
I'm over the situation and the fact that she is dwelling on finding ways to make a mess of MY life proves that she has no life of her own AT ALL.
Thanks for the encouragment and the great advice!..
You are assuming that OP will just sue blindly without first learning if she has a leg to stand on. Everyone should learn what his or her rights are in these types of situations. I checked the original post and there is nothing written that the OP started with any kind of blog about the psycho woman. If OP suffered damages because someone wanted to purposely spread lies or personal info ...then she should look into it. A psycho like this doesnt stop until the law intervenes...
Then you must have missed this:.
<<I continued to ignore her. I posted an anonymous blog about how annoying she was being and she went on a rampage. She took everything I emailed her about David when I was upset at him, all the personal things I told her about my relationship (thru Match.com) and posted a blog on myspace all about it. She cut and pasted things I said and made sure David would read it.>>.
It was anonymous, but obviously the other woman knew who posted it since she retaliated. And yes, I was going under the assumption that she was suing. She would need to divulge all information including the fact that 1) although she told her the info in confidence, she told this woman all this information voluntarily and 2) she started the smack talk with the anonymous blog. Both of those would strongly diminish any case she might have..
I think it's a hard lesson to learn but sometimes we have to go through it. Never say anything behind someone's back that you would be embarrassed, hurt, ashamed, whatever to have said to their face..
Edited 4/5/2008 11:28 am ET by vexer_hw.
It seems as though the psycho woman started the harassment and her comments were in retaliation, but anonymous. ladyveedapoet didnt start the harassment..
She is not going to go to a lawyer but she could sue for defamation if she suffered humiliation and embarassment of publicizing personal information. If any of it was false then it would be libel. "Both of those would strongly diminish any case she might have."> nahhh..
"Never say anything behind someone's back that you would be embarrassed, hurt, ashamed, whatever to have said to their face."> oh, absolutely. I would love to have a few moments with some people so I could say what I have said (like on these boards) to their faces. Since I have no respect for them at all their replies or comments mean absolutely nothing to me- wouldnt phase in the least. But, since I will be going through lawyers to take care of my personal business...I never expect to see or hear from them again, unless those folks send me a postcard from prison, hehe...
Good luck with everything..
"she put a link up on her site to direct people to MY site..."> you posted anonymously and she had to set herself up to make things NOT anonymous. If she continues ... just remember you do have recourse...
Thank you once again. I do realize that it was childish and wrong of me to post an anonymous blog about her childish and immature antics. I call it "anonymous" because it was a blog titled "The Drama-Free Life...is it possible? If so, HOW?" and it didn't mention her name or anyone's name for that matter. It told about the things she was doing to me and how some people can't survive without the comfort of drama. It also told of my decision to AVOID drama at all costs (aka getting this psycho out of my life).
Her blog about me was harrassment because she made sure to mention my real name, my boyfriend's real name and she cut and pasted things I told her in emails she had saved including the dates of when I said them. My mom and sister read her comments and out of concern, called me and told me to "get my business off the internet". That constituted as "the last straw". I made both my profile pages private and deleted her and anyone associated with her off both pages. I even had to make my Meetup.com affiliations private because she started joining all the groups I was in. No way am I going to risk being out somewhere and she just happens to be hanging out there too!.
It's sad that some women, feening for undivided and constant attention, feel it's best to lash out at other women in this unstable way. I've learned my lesson to talk of situations and issues ONLY with the person or people that are DIRECTLY involved...
I dont see what you did as wrong or childish. People post here everyday about the idiots that encompass their lives and their antics. So what's the difference? You made it anonymous so what was the big deal?.
Your BF should also block her from his myspace too..
If drama is "comfort" to her...then she has serious problems...
The only reason I see it as a bit childish on my part is because I was literally 'hiding' behind my anonymous blog to avoid having to actually talk to her. The way her temper is, that was probably the safest thing to do and it saved my eardrums and the crook in my neck staying on the phone with her for 6 hours discussing the problem. My boyfriend told me, and I agree, that a "real woman" would have just answered the phone or talked the problem out in person and be done with it.
My boyfriend read her blog, printed it out and uses what I said in anger against him during a rough time in our past to hold over my head. He even went so far as to go to her birthday party and take pictures with her and her friends that she posted up on her website. It seemed at the time that my boyfriend and this psycho biatch were plotting against me. Her for my "anonymous blog" and him for blabbing our business. They were both mad and this was their way to get back at me or something. .
I guess what I'm doing right now is a form of "blabbing our business" also. Since it helps in solving the situation and not escalate it into email and text wars, I'm okay with this "message board" form of therapy.....LOL.
Oh, I see, you used the blog instead of confronting her. I guess I could see how you could see yourself as childish. Since she sounds like she is off her rocker I dont know what would be the best way...maybe a certified letter asking her to remove herself from your life..
"It seemed at the time that my boyfriend and this psycho biatch were plotting against me.".
How could you want to still date using Match.com him? This doesnt sound good...