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What is a VIP email on Match.com?

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My question is: What is a VIP email on Match.com?.

My 2nd question is: So my last serious relationship (thru Match.com) was over a year ago and I've casually dated a few guys with no exciting results.  Last night though, I met a pretty cool and interesting guy at a happy hour.  It's been a while since someone has piqued my interest!  We had a lot to talk about and I feel like we generally clicked, but was disappointed when he didn't ask for my info at the end of the evening.  I know it's dumb, but I'm of the mindset that if a guy is interested, he will ask for your contact info.  But then again, who knows why he didn't ask?  His friends were around and maybe he was gun shy. .

So my question is should I contact him over facebook?  Or would that seem stalkerish and aggressive?  I feel like I have nothing to lose, really, and I would make it casual.  Also, there's a good chance that I'll probably run into him again, so should I just take my chances and instead wait until we meet again?.

I'm in my 30s, so I'm not really well-versed in what proper online etiquette is.  On the one hand, it seems perfectly normal to ping someone casually over facebook after meeting.  On the other, I can see how it may seem aggressive or desperate??.

I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts!.

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Comments (7)

I don't ask guys out or contact them first, personally.  If he was interested in me, he would be the one to find me on facebook and say hi...

Comment #1

It all depends...how did you leave things at the end of the evening?..

Comment #2

Hi run213,.

Welcome to the board!!.

I don't think it would sound desperate to contact him on facebook as long as you keep it causal like you said.  Like the other posters said, there could be a tons of different reasons for him not asking for your number.  And like you said you've got nothing to loose..

Good Luck,.

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Comment #3

Personally, I would wait to see if I ran into him again. You may be able to ascertain in a follow up convo what his status is and if you can't, you can offer him your number. I have done this before with someone I enjoyed and said "here is my number. Please call me if you'd like to get together again" Sometimes they called, sometimes they didn't. Oh well. There is nothing wrong with offering your number to someone you like - that is being assertive (aggressive is more negative or forceful).



As Sheri said, there are many reasons that he didn't ask for your number. My experience is that a person who wants to get to know you and be in your life will take the initiative to get info or when given info, follow up.  If they are not in a place to give 100% they won't.

Toni..

Comment #4

Hi,.

Thanks everyone, for your comments.  Well, I decided to just say hi over Facebook and he emailed back, saying it was great meeting me and that he was glad I had gotten in touch.  I thereafter found out more about him, including the fact that it looks like he's going out with a 22 year old!  (there are pictures posted by the gf on his facebook profile where they're cozy and one where they're kissing.  he's 36)..

Needless to say, I'm not so excited about him anymore, but I don't regret contacting him over Facebook and now I have a better idea of him and his situation!.

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Comment #5

I'm glad you feel good about how this all played out..

Have fun looking for your special someone!!.

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Comment #6

I would not contact him.  Men like the chase.  Also it could turn out to be a huge waste of your time if you contact him hang out and date, but it goes no where serious because he is not really into it..

If you just want to have casual fun, I think it would be fine to give him a shout online..

I think you should play it cool, maybe see him out, and let it take it's natural course.  Maybe you will see him out and he will ignore you or maybe you will see him out and he will ask for your info and take you on a date. .

I struggle with this too b/c it is not often I meet guys I really like, but I think it is best to go with the flow..

Good luck!.

KC..

Comment #7


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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