What is a good dating headline for

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My question is: What is a good dating headline for

My 2nd question is: Hi All,.

I'm confused ... please help me on whether I should meet this guy..

This guy, let's call him X, sent me an interest on one of the dating (online dating with sites to which I accepted. He sent me a message on the dating (online dating with site and even though I read, I didn't respond to it ... not sure why, but I just didn't..

8 days later, he sent me another message on the dating (online dating with site - that said - "Would you like to connect sometimes? It would be nice to know more about you. I am sure you would like to know more about me as well." - he also gave his email id so that I could send him my picture since I don't have one up on the dating (online dating with site and cell number for me to call him on..

I sent him an email with my picture the same day. He liked my picture and responded to the email by telling me a little bit about himself and asking me to either call him and/or give him my number so he could call me. He also said that since he comes to meet his client/s around my place, he'd like to get together for coffee.

I wanted to take it slow and so didn't call him and/or give him my number. I responded to him in the same manner - telling him a bit about myself and since I had a crazy schedule ahead of me at work, I asked him if Saturday/Sunday would be an option..

He replied back that since he had to go NY on saturday anyways, saturday would work for him. He again asked me if we could talk on the phone and told me that 8-10pm worked for him. I asked him that I could meet him somewhere in the city since he'll be driving down anyways to which he replied that he had to go to upstate NY and that he won't be in new york city and it would be better if we could meet around the place where I live. he gave me his cell number again, asked me to give him a call to fix a venue and/or if I had some place in mind to let him know..

I know of a good place for coffee about 2 stations away from my place (I didn't want him to be too near my place) and so suggested that and he agreed to it.  This was on Tuesday..

On Thursday, he emailed me that he was coming to meet one of his client around my place (1 station away from my place) between 1-2pm and if I'm around and can step out of my office, then we can perhaps meet for a quick cup of coffee..

To me this guy seemed desperate, someone who wants to meet me around my place at his convenience and not make any efforts to drive down especially to meet me. I replied to his email saying it doesn't work for me and I think it would be best to forget the whole thing. I also went ahead and cancelled my interest in him..

He replied back saying - he did not find his suggestion of my meeting him while he was visiting his client unreasonable. He wanted to know why I had backed out suddenly. He said that he still wanted to meet with me on saturday if I wanted to. Later, he sent me another email asking me what went wrong and why I was so upset with him..

I sent him this email -.

" (1) I told you that my schedule for the entire week is crazy. I stillhave been in touch with you via email. Disregarding that you stillwant to meet with me on a day which is a "production launch day" at mycompany and I made you aware of this.  (2) You are more concerned about your coming from so far away while Iwas willing to meet with you in the city since you were alreadydriving down     It cannot be one-sided. I want to see myself with someone who ismature, sensible, respects/looks at the other person's perspective and iswilling to make efforts to at least drive down to meet someone who couldbe a potential partner. If you are too lazy to do this - then it's awaste of time, it only gives me the impression that you are not seriousin your search and I'm not looking for fun.".

He replied to my above email -.

"I appreciate your response and can understand your point of view andrespect it.However I feel that I am being misunderstood and hence this reply.I aplogize for checking with you about friday, but, all said and done,i was only 'checking'. A simple 'not possible' would have been a moremature and appropriate response.As for my being 'lazy and hence not serious'  In a typical month idrive over 3000 Miles for my client meetings - on Saturday I was to drive120 miles one way to reach the dlrship in 'upstate NY' and then another60 back to Jersey City before heading home to Princeton. Not knowingthe ease of travel due to expected bad weather I wanted to make sure thatthe opportunity to meet with you wasnt missed-hence the request to'check' for the option on Friday. That to me is more serious andresponsible than most.Since I work in technology I can understand the pressures of a 'golive' situation but I firmly believe that no matter how much the stressfrom work situation, it should never taint or influence ones personal lifeor cloud our judgement.On the contrary I would like to believe that amongst us, I was the lesssecretive more flexible and eager. Not to mention further from angerand impulse.I try never to be judgemental about another and am very patient.Usually I will try to go an extra mile to make things more convenient forothers... Hence acceptance to Saturday meeting and that too in JC and notat a mid way point to Princeton.That said - I wish you all the best.

I again replied back - "OK, I wasn't angry with you or acted on an impulse. I have some standards and if they are not met from the start, then what's the point?".

He again replied back - "i hope you dont think badly of me - I guess things appeared different than how they actually were, both to you and to me. Not withstanding that - I apologise. Please dont misunderstand me - we all have our reasons. I am open to meeting if you are - when ever convenient to you. ".

I want to know if you find this guy -.

(1) genuine.

(2) desperate.

(3) manipulative.

And if I should meet him. Did I go wrong anywhere in my communication with him? I was supposed to call him today, but not sure if I should..

Thank you all..









Comments (4)

Hi sk3030,.

Welcome to the board!!.

You don't have to meet anyone you don't want to.  Chalk this up to online dating (online dating with experience and move on.  It's hard to say if he was desperate or anything else.  In the future just tell people that you want to take it slow and you will find someone that makes you feel comfortable..

Good Luck,.




Comment #1

I didnt see his initial approach to you as desperate.  He seemed very interested.  It's obvious that you were not as into him as he was into you.  He moved things along at a pretty steady pace and you wanted to slow him down a bit and it seems that you wanted to be the one to drive to see him and that way you would be able to determine the pace of things..

It just didnt "click" for the two of you, I guess...

Comment #2

At this point I'd say you probably shouldn't bother. Your reaction to cancel everything was extremely harsh, and so was the email you sent him. He seems agreeable to still meet, but he's going to remember the harsh words and probably just be waiting for you to fly off the handle the next time he does anything you consider to be wrong. It's fine to have standards, but next time you might want to give the other person the benefit of the doubt and not totally go off on them. Nothing he said sounds bad to me at all. If you're thinking after all that's happened that he's got something wrong with him and that you did nothing wrong, then don't meet him. You'll be wasting each others' time...

Comment #3

Hi Kellyann,.

Glad to have you on the board!!.



Comment #4

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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