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My 2nd question is: I have been with my bf for more than 1 yr, and generally we enjoy time together, and call each other every day, and meet 2 or 3 times a week. Yet, the thing that happened 2 days ago really made me start suspecting him.I called him on my way to school on thursday afternoon, cz he told me he would not go to school till 6:00pm, and would stay home to prepare his presentation the whole afternoon. I called him at 3:00pm, OUT OF MY SURPRISE, the person who answered his cell phone sounded REALLY like a girl voice, although we just said "Hello" to each other. Then I felt shocked for a moment, and stopped a few seconds, then asked "who are you?" (of course I thought it better for me to just pretend nothing happen, and kept talking to make sure further that was a girl's voice.) After a few seconds, he said "how are you to me", and this time I was sure it was his voice. Then I asked directly why I heard a girl's voice b4? although I know it was not smart to ask in such way. He said He was just joking with me, and he made the funny sounds himself.

He said oh I could not make it. Although I was walking on street and a bit noisy around me when I called him, I think at least I can tell whether it is a girl or guy's voice. Not to mention I am so family with his voice. This matter suddenly made me think of another thing which happened last thursday. We made appointment to meet each other after he finished class at 9:00pm, and I would study in library cz at that day I finished class at 5:30.

Yet that day when I was studying in library and at the same time waiting for him, he called me at 8:30pm, saying he actually did not go to school at all, cz he did not finish his homework. We once agreed that if sth unexpected happened, and we have to change our original plan, we will call each other to inform. That day he was home and he had cell phone at hand. He knew after class ppl usually feel tired and hungry, es late at night, but he just let me stay in library wait for 3 hrs he should have just spent 1 min to call me that I did not need to wait. Then I would go back to my own place.

I did not know what happened on him during that day.The funny is both happened on thursday.I do start suspect him from now on. Pl give me some advices, thanks!..

Comments (9)

Not only is he probably cheating on you, he thinks you're a moron to believe he actually made that girl voice as well.Has anything else happened that makes you think he might be unfaithful or untrustworthy? I'd hate to lay a verdict on him based on one day, but the information you give about him is really weird...

Comment #1

I remember one thursday we still made appointment to meet each other after he finished class, I know he has class on tenth floor, but I do not which room. so I planned to give him a surprise by waiting him outside the 10th floor elevator and stairs. However, after 9:00pm, he did not show up either at elevator nor stairs, but he called me 9:07 or so from library building. The first thing I felt was that he did NOT go to class that day. I did not tell him my feeling, just said I was waiting for him in class building. He got really mad saying he kinda of feel I follow him, and he likes freedom sort of.

I thought in such situation he would feel happy cz of my waiting, and I can understand he was unhappy for this, but he acted VERY unhappy. I think it was too much!Also when night I stayed in his place, and he worked early that morning, so he had to make alarm. He has 2 cell phones, and first one cell phone made alarm, after around 5 mins another cell phone made VIBRATION. I asked whether sb called him. He said oh just alarm too.

But after that day, I was thinking: 1. Is it normal to use VIBRATION as ALARM CLOCK? 2. If it was really vibration, he just spent 1 second to turn it off, why spent 1 min on it? (for this I am not so sure, cz that vibration phone is iphone, he usualy read news on it after waking up to refresh his idea. )..

Comment #2

My alarm gets set to vibrate when I have my phone in vibrate mode. I don't think there's anything weird about his phone use. To be honest, I'd be annoyed too if someone spent so much time waiting for me and surprising me by just showing up where they thought I'd be. Many people would find that weird. So ultimately I don't know what to tell you; I think he's acting kind of shady and I think you're acting a bit needy. Not trying to blame either one of you, but you're both annoying one another at this point and I think you need to talk to him if you want your relationship (thru to go further...

Comment #3

I waited for him long time is of course not only for him, I also at the same time read in library for myself. I admit sometimes I am a bit too sensitive. and I know generally girls are more emotional than guys. No matte what happend b4 b/w us, I usually will not refer at all. But this time I feel I really cant get over, cz it is really unnormal and silly for a guy to pretend to speak like a girl's voice in phone to his gf, which will definitely make trouble for the guy himself. I know humourous is good, but this "joke " is really too much. I am wondering whether you have some friends who got similar experience that guys try to speak like a girl in cell phone to their gfs for joke...

Comment #4

No, "It was just a joke" is guy-talk for "I did something crappy and am trying to fool you"Trust your instincts here...

Comment #5

Thanks for your advice! and I think really time for me to move on. Have a good day!..

Comment #6

You know what, I feel even if a guy treated his gf well, it does NOT mean either the guy really so love his gf or the guy does not have other girl. I had birthday last month, and he spent time to make a birthday card himself for me, and when seeing the card, I felt so happy, cz from the card he made, I could feel he put his heart on it. But at the same time, he may do that crappy thing and tried to fool me. I really do not know what I can trust ...

Comment #7

Well, I have a question for you, fruit2008:.

Do you trust strangers on the internet, who have no idea who either you or your boyfriend are, more than you trust your boyfriend?.

Even though I CL on three of these boards, I always caution people to really weigh and balance what's suggested to them, because since these forums are anonymous and removed, you have no way of knowing a person's true intentions or personal experiences and agenda..

About your boyfriend directly, I do think that it's quite possible that he was playing around and the joke fell flat.  I think that because you've let your mind wander and get suspicious about some previous activity of his (not being where he was "supposed to" be, changing his schedule without "clearing it" with you) that is coloring your *view* of this event.  To that I'll say, "When you're a hammer, everything is a nail.".

The smartest thing you could do would be to TALK with your boyfriend about this.  If you feel you cannot possibly, then that's a pretty good inidcation that this might not be the best match for you. .

Good luck,.

 CL-Breaking Up Is Hard to DoCL-Understanding MenCL-Ask the dating (online dating with DoyenneRead This First:  How to Get Over Your BreakupWe waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.  Tom Robbins..

Comment #8

I agree with you that for this forum, ppl just share opinions based on their own experiences and backgrounds. Nobody can actually know the situation of the couples. I did talk with him straightly yesterday and told him all my thinking and feeling. He hugged me and said: it is good that you spoke it out, cz I do not wann see you unhappy. He said very sincerely that all I thought is NOT true, and there is really nothing for me to worry about.He also gave me explanation His attitude was really serious and sincere. Yet I heard guys are good at performing.

But in my mind, I am not 100% sure how much percent he said is true. He usually never lied to me anything b4, and of course never cheated me b4. I really want to trust him. But on the other hand, I am not him, and I do not know what his real thoughts in his mind...

Comment #9

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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