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My question is: What are the latest Match.com discount offers?.

My 2nd question is: I met a guy online about a month ago. We have slept together and he has been giving me the vibe that he really likes me and enjoys being with me and we have discussed our goals and wants in the future which are the same thing.

I wasn't completely honest with him from the beginning about me dating (online dating with Match.com) another guy around the same time I started talking to him so he took it that I lied to him. We talked and I explained to him that this other guy that I was dating (online dating with Match.com) did not mean nothing to me since we didn't share a connection. As a matter of fact, I had told him that I had met someone new.  .

My ex send me an email on my online dating (online dating with Match.com) account asking me how things were going with "lover boy" and if I had found mr. right? The other night, my new guy and I were talking about dating others and I told him that I was not dating (online dating with Match.com) anyone else during the month we have been together. To prove it to him I let him sign on to my account and told him to look.

Well, he saw the message from my ex and is now convinced that I am still messing around with him and that I, once again, have lied to him. He asked me who is "lover boy" and I was so embarrassed and I told him that I had no idea what my ex was referring to. Well, the truth came out since I am a terrible liar but I did explain to him that my ex was trying to get with me but I told him  (my ex)that there was someone new in my life.

My new guy told me that he is unhappy with me right now because there is something shady about me. I know I tried to cover the truth two times from him but I did it out of embarrassment and because I didn't feel my ex was important. I know that it is not an excuse but I feel that just when his guard was coming down he put it back up again and it is my fault. When he left my house after this, I asked him if he wanted to end it with me at this point and his response was that if he wanted to end it with me he would have done it in the beginning.

I really like this guy a lot and I don't want to mess it up but I feel that I already have as he is talking about us having an open relationship. That's not what I want and I don't know how to tell him that without sounding like I am crazy or desperate. I am also not sure what my new guy is looking for? Is he looking for an excuse to back away from me? We all have a past but it seems he is holding mine over my head.

Any ideas?.

 ..

Comments (6)

Well, you were pretty shady. He's not wrong about that, entirely. You can't lie and expect good things to come of it. You didn't have anything to lie about either, it was (and is) a very young relationship (thru Match.com) where you are still getting to know one another and the idea of commitment or exclusivity is really premature. I don't think it's fair for him to hold you so close and expect commitment but that's what some people have in mind when they start having sex.You two are not on the same page and that's partially because you barely know one another yet. I think that if you should be spending this time getting to know one another, not making commitments or looking through one another's Email in order to gain trust (or lying).

If you can't give that, then you should break it off. Honestly he seems a bit too possessive for so early on. I don't like his paranoia. He seems like he's looking to have something to hold over your head so that YOU feel desperate for HIM.Keep a close eye on the situation, at least. I have a feeling that this guy has something not right going on in the head; while you should be more straightforward with him, he should not be getting angry at you for seeing other people when he barely knows you...

Comment #1

Well, we have been seeing each other for a month and things are going well. He is not mentioning exes nor open relationships. He is giving me mixed signals though. I am not sure if he is scared or just does not want to commit.

He is sort of "hot and cold" with me. He will tell me things that are so sweet and romantic and then the next thing I know he is pushing me away. A couple of weeks ago he told me that I make him a better person and I complete him. Then he will text me out of the blue something so sweet and romantic. He has told me that he is falling for me. But I know that actions speak louder than words.

We didn't spend the holidays together as I was out of town. When I came back, we hang out and he had wine ready to make a toast since I was not around for the holidays to make a toast. Another romantic gesture on his part, I thought. And, while I was away for a week for the holiday he will text me how much he misses me and how he can't stop thinking about me.  .

Then, boom! days go by and he is completely silent and cold.

I offered to cook him dinner the other night and he ask me "for what?" "what's the occasion"? He said no, because he had a deadline to meet for work. All I was offering was dinner not a night out on the town..

I was frastruated and backed off but I ended up texting him a message telling him that I had feelings for him and before I move on having these feelings I wanted to know where he stands with me because I am getting mixed signals and I am confused. His response to the text was another text saying to me "you are silly"..

I don't know what to think. Is he playing games with me or is he just a guy scared that he does feel something and does not want to admit it? He didn't answer my question about where he stands with me so I am not planning to contact him unless he does.

I know he has a very hectic job. Am I doing the right thing and waiting this one out to see what he does?.

I do have feelings for him but I don't want to get hurt or waste my time...

Comment #2

I urge you not to be too swayed by his words alone. A man who has experience in relationships learns quickly what a woman wants to hear and how to keep her interest through words.When you start dating (online dating with Match.com) someone you are not instantly in a relationship. You get to know one another in order to determine whether or not a relationship (thru Match.com) is a good idea. A good man is one whose words and actions aren't contradictory. He may have a lot going on in his life but he is always genuine.This guy has only been seeing you a month, how can he know if he wants to commit or not? You barely know one another. This is a good time to continue evaluating whether or not he would be a good potential boyfriend.

Texting adds confusion and distraction to really getting to know one another. You should be getting to know one another on dates, face-to-face, not through text messages.His interest level will be directly related to how much time he wants to spend with you...

Comment #3

Well, he came out and told me that he doesn't have time for a relationship (thru Match.com) right now. He has goals and deadlines and he has a timeschedule of 6 months and does not have any room for set backs.

I asked him if he wanted me to back off and of course like before he didn't answer the question. He said to keep it not complicated and see what happens.

He still keeps in contact with me but it bothers me. I am not sure if his excuse that he can't or maybe doesn't want to be with me is the honest truth..

I am not sure what to expect. Probably nothing. Like I said he keeps in contact with me but on a very friendly basis. Like calling to say how are you and what's going on. Not an effort to see each other at all. I don't know if I should wait and see what will happen.

I don't know if I should continue being friendly with him and act like it doesn't matter to me or delete him from my contacts and if he questions why I am not in touch with him just be honest with him that I don't want to be just friends.

I don't know how to read him to see if he just wants space but has interest in me or he doesn't have interest but knowing that I do, he wants to keep me around.

 ..

Comment #4

No, IMO, it's not good for you to stay in contact with him...you're just going to feel strung along and frustrated.  Better to cut off contact and ask him to call you only if and when things change and he decides he's open to being in a relationship..

I think an email saying that would be fine, you don't have to have some big conversation with him..

I would say that it's doubtful the reason he gave you is the whole truth.  It may be part of it, but honestly it doesn't really matter...he's not interested in a relationship (thru Match.com) with you right now, that's all you need to know..

Sheri..

Comment #5

Hey... ... if the man is not stepping up to plate, you need to move on.  Start dating (online dating with Match.com) other men.   Keep really busy, try not to think of him... and most of all, do not contact him.  Amazing things will start to happen... and you never know... perhaps, he'll come around again... And when he says he is "busy"...well, that is"man talk" for he needs his space...



A little advise by an older woman whose been around the block a few times... don't ever let a man know your feelings before he has expressed his.  A little bit of mystery goes a long way when it comes to "catching" a man... let him chase you; not the other way around.  You see, the more you "don't" want a man... the more he will want you... ever notice that?  You see, dating (online dating with Match.com) is a game and you need to know how to play..

In the meantime... hold your head up high and keep on keeping on!.

 ..

Comment #6


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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