Mandy, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you can't change his mind because you don't know better about what he wants and what is good for him than he does. How much you want him is not the issue. You're not entitled to a relationship (thru Match.com) with someone because you want it. They have to want it too, and he doesn't.It was wise of you to tell him you won't be there in the future, but you have to put your words into practice and live by them. If you did start dating (online dating with Match.com) again, eventually it would end. I don't think a man really "loves" a woman, in the way he needs to love her for a relationship (thru Match.com) to work, when he also needs to be casual and can't commit to her.
This breakup is for the best, really you can't be in a fulfilling relationship (thru Match.com) with a guy who doesn't want to be in one. I understand his words are confusing to you and he shouldn't have let the "L" word out, but this is his decision. Things won't be hard forever, but you must find acceptance. I can't imagine what you're going to get out of talking with him that will be of any value. If he's serious about breaking up then you shouldn't be meeting anymore..
I know this will not be what you want to hear, but those of us who have been where you are will tell you that the absolute BEST thing you can do is stay away from this guy. He may have been wonderful and I know you love him, but any man who says he's going to try a relationship (thru Match.com) with someone else but will be back to you eventually is both arrogant and cruel. What makes him think you will want him after that? And really, how unkind to both of you to give you that ridiculous line about coming back because he thinks you have a future. What is he telling the new girl? That she's the one and they have a future? .
You can not convince anyone - nor should you have to - to give you a chance. Do not put yourself in such an inferior position. He should want to be with you. If he doesn't, then move on...you don't need t beg anyone to b with you. You are worth more than that..
I know this is difficult, and I hope that you have friends and family to support you. Spend time with people who love you and who you love. Don't waste your heart on people who hurt you. .
Believe it or not, one day you will look back and think "what was I thinking?" when you realize what this guy did. And you will see, with a little bit of time and distance, how unkind and unloving his behavior was. .
And then you will have moved on.
I'm sorry you are going through this. It is tough when you want somebody so much, and they are after somebody else. I have to agree with the other responses you've gotten so far though. This isn't something you can change his mind about. If being with you was what he wanted, he'd be with you. As tough as it is, he'd rather be with somebody else.
Either that or he is taking you completely for granted, just so that he can have some meaningless fun, and then expecting you to still offer him all your love when he's done. Whichever of the two it is, you deserve so much more than that. If he is letting you down easy, then trying to get him to start a relationship (thru Match.com) with you is not going to make him want you. If he is taking you for granted, then it's not going to work either because then he'll be only more convinced that you'll always be waiting around. The best thing you can do is to walk away.
Move on with your life and find happiness elsewhere. Maybe after you are long gone and it is too late, he will stop taking you for granted and realize what he's missed out on..
Edited 11/11/2009 9:19 pm ET by rosewater99..