What are the best descriptions?

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My question is: What are the best descriptions?.

My 2nd question is: I never know which board to post on.  Trying this one..

Long story short.  I dated a man for a couple of months.  I liked him and he liked me, but I didn't like dating (online dating with him.  I never heard from him, and it was like pulling teeth to actually see him. .  After a while, I was just done.  I broke up with him, and we seemed to settle into a friendship.  Over the last month we hung out one night, and I just stopped by his place to borrow a movie..

He emailed me earlier this week.  I had forwarded to all my friends a thing about a cat rescue group having a charity event tonight.  He said he would go with me.   Then after lunch today, I get an email from him saying he has to cancel.  He forgot he had a church event tonight. He just got the email reminder.  I told him no problem.

Then I get an email back where he says he is sorry, but he does want to attempt to "woo" me in the future.  I always joke with people I like to be "wooed".  I'm confused why he appears to be getting flirty. I get at him and say does he really want to attempt this?  I have high expectations. (I was joking).

And then, I get an entire paragraph back about how he thinks very highly of me, but through the end of the year, he isn't going to be good for anyone.  His mom is very ill, he didn't get a promotion at work and is going to start a job hunt, and he can't sell his house.   He admitted they are all excuses, but said he is a mess..

I wrote him back and said I am sorry about his mom.  I do really really feel for him.  I said if he ever needs to talk I'm here..

BUT, I'm completely confused.  I put us as friends.  Am I crazy that he appeared to be trying to start something?  Then when I call him on it, I get this paragraph about how he is a mess and won't be good for anyone?  What is going on?..

Comments (5)


He's basically telling you he likes you and wants to be more than friends, i.e. wants to hang out, hook up etc.  but letting you know in advance not to expect too much because he is not ready for a relationship. ..

Comment #1

" it was like pulling teeth to actually see him." you dont need a guy with that attitude! does he believe himself to be Brad pitt or something?? to whom you would be thankful if he showed up in a blue moon? Isnt that a turn off? When a guy really likes you and is serious,he will come up with all the absurd excuses to show up in places you visit,KWiM? will 'happen' to be there,kind of thing.This guy is flaky.Dont waste more time than you already have...

Comment #2

Well, I'm keeping at a good distance.  I had a party this weekend.  He came for a spell, and he seemed to have fun. I appreciated him showing up.  I sent him off to go out with his friends..

He is going to be gone for a while to look after his mom.  Timing is just off.  I'm on the market..

Oh well...

Comment #3

Weeellll, fast forward a week.  I haven't talked to him in a while..

And then, not to sound like a 14 yr old, I go on Facebook today, and he is all over it.  Tagged in pictures at the bar.  And then his ex girlfriend is posting about being excited to see him soon. .

I'm not going to contact him.  He can do his own thing...

Comment #4

I know the outcome to this with the bar and the pics and the ex-gf, but just wanted to say one thing in regards to what you originally asked about:He just seemed to have made a joke in reference to you joking with people you want to be "wooed" and because t was him and because of your history, you took it a bit seriously, even though you played it off (well done, btw), so he had to come back with no, he's not "ready" to be serious about anyone, blah blah. He felt he had to backtrack off his joking manner with you, is all that was, I think.And playing around in a bar and making plans with the ex just kind of proves that. So anyway, next!.


CL-Breaking Up Is Hard to Do.

CL-Understanding Men.

CL-Ask the dating (online dating with Doyenne.

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love. Tom Robbins..

Comment #5

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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