What are some specials?

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My question is: What are some specials?.

My 2nd question is: I'd like to get some advice on what to do with this guy who I've been dating (online dating with for the past 1.5 years.  I met him online and since Nov 07 we've had a FWB, casual relationship.  He calls me about once a week and comes over every week or so...he never wants to stay too long and I understand that it's just a physical thing because the sex is really pretty good.  I guess I've had some hope that it would get more serious because for the past 3 months his phone calls are coming more often, sometimes every 2-3 days, and just last week he came over on Saturday and Sunday night, two nights in a row, which he's never done before. .

I'm 43 and divorced and he's 34 and divorced....he had a bad divorce and he's been split up for 3 years.  He has no kids but I have one, age 11.  I can understand that this is probably a no strings attached, convenient relationship (thru for him but I keep hoping that he's going to want to get more serious, especially since he's been seeing me more often lately. .

Also, the thing that I find really confusing is that he tells me he loves me, compliments me alot, and has even said to me, "I want to live with you, marry you and have a baby".  I'm wondering if players say these things to keep the FWB going or do you think that he does have some strong feelings for me?.

Just wanted to get a second opinion on this guy, even though I'm probably wasting my time with him...

Comments (5)

One and a half YEARS?? Can I ask why you haven't said anything to him yet? Does he date using other people?..

Comment #1

I must be missing the "dating" part...this sounds like a regular booty call type thing.  Do you ever actually go OUT on dates? .

Yes, some guys will say those things because it's what they think you want to hear.   A guy I had a fling with a while back used to say those type of things and it drove me crazy because I knew he didn't mean it...when we ended it, I asked him about it and he told me he said those type of things to me because he felt guilty about using me for sex.  I said, it's actually worse when you say those things when we both know it's just about sex. .

If he were serious, he'd be acting right and treating you like a GF, not just coming over to get laid.   He's had plenty of time to decide he wants more from you...and more frequent sex doesn't equate to wanting a serious relationship (thru with you!!!.

I'm sorry, I know I'm being harsh, but you're living in a fantasy world and need to wake up!.



Comment #2

Hi, thanks for your reply..

You're right...this is just a regular booty call for, we never go out on dates and he only usually calls me at 2

I keep wondering what I can do to make him realize that if he doesn't change I'm eventually going to move on.  Because I know that if I do end it he will be calling me non stop and pleading with me to see him because he's done that before.  Lots of times I have unplugged the phone and he'll call about 12 times in one night and then finally leave a message, "pick up the phone, I know you're there, I want to talk to you,"  So I'm thinking that if he knows he's going to miss me that much he should realize that he's got to change. .

I think he's doing this because he knows he can get away with it but if someone else came into the picture he would be forced to change...what do you think?..

Comment #3

Oh, goodness, girl, he's not going to change!!!  Get that idea right out of your head!!!  There is nothing you can do..

Of course he'll scream and yell to have his source of good no strings sex cut off, but that's all it will bedisappointment that the well is drying up so to speak.  It won't mean anything but that..

If he wanted to be in a relationship (thru with you, he'd BE in a relationship (thru with you.  Period.  He doesn't want that, he wants no strings good sex.  If that's not what you want, then you need to cut it off and change your number or whatever it is you need to do in order to not pick up when he callswhich he will. .

The guy I was talking about in my previous post actually told me, don't pick up no matter how many times I call you...I'll just be using you for more sex no matter what I say.  At least he was honest about it.  I would bet you a large sum of money that if you gave this guy some truth serum, he'd tell you the same thing.  But he won't, because he wants the sex to continue.  Why wouldn't he?  He's got it made!.

It's up to YOU to take care of yourself, this guy's not going to do it for you or make it easy, believe me..




Comment #4

He knows you will cave in if he bugs you enough.  I agree with the others you are a booty call.  I think he has another life with someone.  You need to get a back bone, end it with him.  Tell him firmly but politely not to call or contact you again.  Tell him if he does you will file stalking/harrassment charges.  Then follow through if he does.  In the  meantime you can block his calls & emails, etc.  Or change everything. .

You deserve someone who really wants to be with you..



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Them with my guns..

Comment #5

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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