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What are some great first date ideas for a Match.com date?

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My first question is: What are some great first date ideas for a Match.com date?.

My next question is: I know I'm a jealous person but my bf is really pushing the limit.  He is a part-time photographer.  He does great work but lately he has been taking pictures of 20 year old girls for free.  He says that it's to help get his name out and help them do portfolios.  These girls are usually semi-dressed and in seductive poses.  I just can't get past the point that he is taking pics of these girls for free and says that I shouldn't be so jealous b/c he hasn't done anything wrong.  I get so jealous and upset when he posts the pictures of these girls.  He tells me I'm beautiful and these girls have nothing on me.  That really doesn't seem to help smooth my jealous feelings over.  Please tell me if I'm being ridiculous!..

Comments (8)

Your question was: What are some great first date ideas for a Match.com date?.

When I read your post I thought for a moment I was back in college talking to a woman who I used to be friends with, Beth.  Her husband Teddy was also a photographer and just starting out back then.  He did the same thing - he took pictures of very pretty women who were barely dressed to get started.  Beth had similar emotions as you..

Even the most secure woman would cringe inside.  And if she didnt it could mean she really doesnt love him too deeply, IMO..

Since this is his vocation you only have two choices: 1) get used to it which may mean pulling back emotionally (not good) or 2) break things off with him...

Comment #1

Hi blondd26 -.

Jealousy is a tough line to walk.  I have some issues with this myself.  You can't deny your feelings, but jealousy can totally  kill a relationship..

I'd ask yourself why you feel this way.  It's most likely not about him and what he's doing.  Has something happened to you in the past that makes you worry about being hurt?  My ex husband cheated on me, and was the master of manipulation.  So I sometimes look for alterer motives.  That's what I'm used to.  Is this fair to my boyfriend - absolutely not.  So I work really hard at finding something positive about what feels so negative.  Most of the time I can see that I'm over thinking things..

So don't ignore your feeling, but don't attack your bf with them either.  He will wonder what's going on and not understand.  Approach it as something you need help with.  This will take the pressure off of him.  Look inside yourself before putting it on him.

Good Luck,.

CL-Krist..

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Comment #2

Hi again,.

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I found this quiz on jealousy, so I thought I'd pass it on to you.  It's from another site on iVillage..

Http://quiz.ivillage.com/love/tests/toojealous.htm.

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Hope this helps a little..

Krist..

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Comment #3

Thank you! It said that I'm laid back and not jealous. That's a relief! I guess I'm just afraid that my bf is going to realize that these young girls are much better than having someone his age with a body that's had 2 kids. He tells me I'm beautiful, he loves me and he thinks the world of me. It just really hits a spot when I see the pictures of the girls. They are thin and have great bodies. They also don't believe in wearing much of anything in the pictures! It just seems a little too tempting for a guy. I'll work on it!Thank you!..

Comment #4

I'd venture to say that you are just territorial.  There is nothing wrong with that.  I'm territorial.  It is normal for your radar to go up in a situation like that.  I think it is normal for you to be concerned that any guy who was your BF would look at these women and possibly think that a romp or two might be nice...

Comment #5

Thank you! That made me feel much better. Yes, the temptation is the part that worries me the most...

Comment #6

Has he given you reason to be jealous at any point in relationship? Are young girls ALL he is taking pix of? What was he taking pix of before?  He is doing his best to make you feel comfortable, which is totally a point in his favor but I would wonder why he doesn't broaden his range of photo subjects.

,..

Comment #7

I dont blame you because temptation is something only he has control over.  The dating (online dating with Match.com) doyenne does make a point...why not shoot pictures of fruit or dogs or city skylines?  Why does he play with fire like that?  Keep your radar up and try to keep your stomach out of your throat.  Good luck...

Comment #8


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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