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My question is: What are some good deals on Match.com?.

My 2nd question is: So, I've been dating (online dating with Match.com) my boyfriend Joe for 5 months.  We met and got along great and decided to be exclusive after a little more than one month.  He sometimes got worried that I might not be 100% committed to him (we have an 18 year age difference, I think that was part of the problem, plus I was engaged to my ex BF, who I am totally over) but every time I assured him things were fine and, for the past month or so, things have been absolutely perfect.  We haven't said we love each other yet but we hang out all the time, have a great open dialogue, talk about our desires, he has kids and we hang out with them a lot and I get along great with them.

Anyway, one day I saw his phone and he had all these texts going with this other woman (Tiiffanie).  I asked about her, he said it was his ex girlfriend and they are friends now.  I said that's OK, just so she knows he isn't single and he's not trying to date using Match.com her.  He said he can date using Match.com her if he wants but he wants me.  I asked if she knew he had a girlfriend and he said no, that they only talk briefly and they don't talk about that.  I was ok with it.  Another girl had been calling him a lot until I finally said, "can you tell her you have a GF?"  He did, and she stopped bothering him.

Today, the little girls who live next door came over and we were playing together.  They said, "Do you know Joe has other girls come over a lot?"  Then they named the one I saw the texts from (Tiffanie) and said that they don't like her daughter.  I didn't act upset in front of the girls (the one who told me is 9) but I felt so sick.

They went home and I got so upset, I told him what they said.  He said no one has been over, that they're wrong.  He said that Tiffanie hasn't been over in a year and he hasn't seen her in a year.  I asked if she knows he has a girlfriend.  He said no, he hasn't told her.  I got really upset and asked why.  I said, "can you tell her you have a girlfriend?"  I mean, I spend ALL my time with him and we've had talks, he has said we're exclusive and in a serious relationship.  He said he can't tell her that, that he's not "in love" with her but he will not tell her he has a girlfriend.  I started to kind of feel choke up so I left the house, while talking to him.  He just closed the door behind me.  Then about 5 minutes later I called him to tell him if he just tells her he has a GF I'm fine, but he didn't answer.  That was 7 hours ago, I haven't heard from him. .

I don't feel like I'm being needy.  I asked him if he thought it was right of him to be talking to an ex GF who thinks he's single and he said no, he doesn't think so.  He said he doesn't see other women or cheat but I really feel terrible that he has this woman, who lives in the same city, who he talks to on a regualr basis and she thinks he's single.  I felt so betrayed.  I told him that all my guy friends know I have a BF and pretty much all of them don't want to talk to me now because they were interested in a relationship (thru Match.com) with me. .

I feel that I was stabbed in the heart.  I was so happy with him, we had fun together, I was completly committed.  Should I call him?  Should I just wait?  What if he never calls?  He said he's not interested in Tiffanie but he'd rather give me up than tell her that he has a GF?  He told me when I first asked about her that they're not compatible.  I've told him I don't care if he has female friends, but I think they should know he's not available.  I was falling for him and spending all my time with him and now he's ripped out my heart!  Any advice, thanks...

Comments (5)

Have you asked him for his reasons WHY he is behaving this way?  Is it because she's a psycho and would stalk the two of you, oris it because he wants to keep his options open, or is it because he just doesnt want her to know his business .. maybe more psycho-like behavior?..

Comment #1

I don't think my reply posted...  Anyway, no, no explanation, he just let me leave his house.  He told me he wasn't ready to tell her.  He calls her, she calls him.  He told me he hasn't cheated on me but I am not happy he did this...  He just let me leave his house and hasn't called or texted since.  I called one time right after he left and he didn't answer.  He told me they dated and he isn't interested in her that way and doesn't love her but he won't tell her he has a girlfriend.  See, I don't get it!!  And he apparently doesn't even care since he hasn't even spoken to me since.  I'm so very hurt.  Especially since I like his kids and his mom and his brother.  He's introduced me to everyone, he's said we're in a serious relationship.  I hate this!  I'm in turmoil and so very hurt...  I was falling in love, apparently he wasn't...

Comment #2

I'm sorry things aren't working out with him. At five months you can't be so attached that you can't say "goodbye" to someone who isn't treating you the way you want to be treated. Let this guy go...

Comment #3

A big red flag for me would be he has not contacted you since your disagreement.  That speaks volumes.  A guy who truly cares will not let you walk away no matter what.  Don't contact him again. If and whenhe does contact you, make him work for you.  Don't just take him back on his terms... take him back on your terms and that means that he calls his ex in front of you and tells her that he is in a serious relationship (thru Match.com) with you.  And don't settle..

Stay strong girlfriend... and don't put up with this from any man... EVER!!!!..

Comment #4

Well you went snooping...dont say it was an accident you looked in his phone and pushed a few buttons and went snoopin...bad on your part. With that aside the little girls told you of other women...hmmmm well he says that Tiffnay hasn't been in over a year..this may be true kids can think of things that happend years ago and feel like it was yesterday. As far as him telling whats her face that he has a GF...I would wonder why???? not that that would stop her from callin him. He wont tell her ...that tells me he still has ang up on her. I would walk ..seriously. Something so simple as to tell some one you are in a relationship (thru Match.com) is so hard?? It shouldnt be...

Comment #5


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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