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What are some Gay dating sites like E-harmony, or Match.com for gay people?

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My first question is: What are some Gay dating sites like E-harmony, or Match.com for gay people?.

My next question is: I was in a long term relationship (thru Match.com) for over 2 years which ended last october. From that time I started dancing a guy and we danced all night 2-3 times a week. In January I started seeing him but any time we parted .... his leaving statement was I'll be in touch, this went on for about 5 weeks and we were dating (online dating with Match.com) 2-3 times a week. Needless to say I got a bit fed up and texted him and said I thought I was more committed to the relationship (thru Match.com) tahn he was and to let me know. That was 2 weeks ago and I've heard nothing despite sending him another 2 texts one saying I missed him and the other  just asking him to let me know what went wrong.....

I'm 44 qnd he's 49...

Comments (9)

Your question was: What are some Gay dating sites like E-harmony, or Match.com for gay people?.

I am not sure what relationship (thru Match.com) you believe you are in.  You dance with this guy but it doesnt sound like you do much more than that so I dont believe you are in a romantic relationship (thru Match.com) that includes a commitment of any kind.  It sounds like the two of you are acquaintances...

Comment #1

I maybe wasn't clear enough, but since early in January we did become romantically involved going out for meals, him taking me to and from dances and going out as a couple and then as I said nothing......

Comment #2

I guess I don't understand your objection with his leaving statement of, "I'll be in touch." Did you want him to plan the next date using Match.com right there and then? If so, I don't think that's a reasonable expectation. You'd only been seeing each other for a couple of months... and some people just don't plan ahead like that no matter how long they've been seeing someone.Anyway, it sounds like he WAS pretty consistently in touch if you continued to date using Match.com 2-3 times per week, but he might have just gotten freaked out when he got your text. Or thought you were too high maintenance if you were complaining about the relationship (thru Match.com) when he was already seeing you 2-3 times per week. Just a couple of ideas... obviously I don't know for sure.(edited for grammar).

Edited 3/2/2008 9:03 pm ET by little_bubba..

Comment #3

I guess I'm confused too.  OK, you were dating (online dating with Match.com) a couple times a week for 5 weeks.  5 weeks is not a very long time to date using Match.com someone.  What were you "fed up" with? .

As for what went wrong, I think you answered your own question with your text when you told him that you thought you were more committed to this relationship (thru Match.com) than he was.  Had you talked about getting serious?  Had he expressed his desire for a long term relationship (thru Match.com) with you or in general for that matter?  Perhaps he thought of this as a casual, fun, romantic relationship (thru Match.com) with no strings attached and when you sent that text, he found out you were not on the same page he was and that you were looking at this as something more.  Since he didn't want more, he vanished rather than tell you.  It's cowardly to do that, but it happens all the time, especially early on in a relationship..

Oh, and may I suggest that in the future that you NOT have such important conversations over text message?  It is a HORRIBLE form of communication and should only be used when conveying brief, trivial messages when the phone is either inconvenient or not possible.  And NEVER to express important thoughts or emotions. .

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Comment #4

I see now.  You obviously never talked about the terms of your relationship (thru Match.com) - whether or not you were exclusive or FWB or whatever.  You will probably need to have a verbal discussion with him as to what he wants or doesnt want from or with you to have a better understanding of what actually happened...

Comment #5

Hi Shaunagh63,.

Welcome to the board!!.

Sounds like you were both having a really good time together.  Sometimes after a long relationship (thru Match.com) it is easy to act as if we have been with someone a lot longer than we actually have in a new relationship.  We fall back into old habits..

I wouldn't worry about this guy - keep dating (online dating with Match.com) around until you find someone that measures up to what you want.  We don't always get to know the whys of why someone didn't work out..

Good Luck,.

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Comment #6

Kristie,.

Thank you for your reply. It's good to know that others think the way I do. I just thought now we're in our 40's people would have more manners. Silly me.

Shaunagh..

Comment #7

Manners are definitley lacking these days.  Good Luck and your search for the "right one".

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Comment #8

Just leave it be. You won't get no satisfaction.. from him.  The lesson is don't waste more energy or time or texts on someone so unreliable and thoughtless.

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Comment #9


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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