candidablog.com

Was it an insult or really a joke?

Want the Latest Match.com Coupons Every Month?


Enter your email address below and we'll send you the latest coupon codes every month. We'll even give a lucky person a free 3 month offer.


I posted on here a few days ago about a guy that I wasn't sure what was going on with him. The short - met online, he seemed to really like me, had sex, "dated" for a couple weeks then suddenly he started acting less interested and said he didn't want to jump into anything too serious..

This past weekend I didn't hear from him at all. I broke down Monday night and texted him. We exchanged a couple msgs. I asked if I was going to see him ... we agreed to this Saturday.

Today on my lunch I sent a flirty/risque text msg which he has replied to in the past with a just as flirty/risque message. Today his answer was "you need help", I reply "can you help me" (still flirting) , he says "professional help" (not feeling flirty anymore) I say "why?" he says "bunch of reasons" I reply with "Ok, now I'm confused, why are you saying this?" he replies with "it was a joke sweet cheeks" I reply "are you sure"? he says. "Yes I am sure it was a joke, You are cool." After reading that I was feeling kind of insulted and a bit hurt. I know this could be way off but I kind of got the feeling that he was trying to see how far he could go with me, how far he could push me..

Before the text message I sent an email asking if Sat was still a go. By the time I got back to work after lunch (and after the text messages) he had replied with  I think so. Are you ok? You seem a little sensitive? I was still kind of in "awe" from the texts and waited a while to reply. I finally did with "I don't know if you replied to this before or after my text but Im fine. just trying to figure you out.".

Do I listen to my gut and walk and cancel Saturday? Does what he said sound mean? Am I over reacting?.

 .

 .

 ..

Comments (8)

Your question was: Was it an insult or really a joke?.

Go on the date using Match.com on Saturday and see how things go.  I would probably question his joke if I were you too because it seems to not fit the banter that you started with your text messaging.  Since it was out of sorts that is why you texted that you were confused.  Some people joke around and say, "you're so crazy" when someone does something funny or odd.  Maybe this guy wanted to create a twist in the text messaging and got fancy and it came off wrong.  Sometimes things seem harsher in writing than delivered verbally.  But he shouldnt be left thinking you are sensitive when his return joke didnt' fit the discussion - it was awkward...

Comment #1

"Many a truth is said in jest".

Not that *I* believe you need professional help, but imo, people say things for a reason... Couple that with his recent behaviors since you two have spent real life time together, his "sensitive" jab, and lack of even the slightest remorse for the comments he obviously knew made you uncomfortable- it seems to me he meant it. I absolutely do not think you are overreacting..

 .

 ..

Comment #2

I get the feeling from this guy he may be a "bitter" towards women. He has said to me in the past that he thinks women are "psycho" (his words). We had emailed earlier in the day about the previous night's Ultimate Fighter episode and he said about one of the fighters "he's psycho...he acts like a girl". I didn't think anything of it at the time but after his text I thought back to it. He has a son with a woman that was a one night thing  and he didn't find out she was pregnant until she was 6 months in.... so I wonder if that could have anything do with it.....anyway the point is.... it made me feel uncomfortable and b/c of his previous actions (seeming to be less interested) if I should bother.... ..

Comment #3

Ok.....my gut and the little voice in my head said to cancel Saturday - which I have done. Honestly, I thought about everything that has gone on these past 2/3 weeks.  For whatever reason I am going to guess he just lost interest ... whether it was b/c we had sex or not... I don't know and really don't care at this point. However the comments yesterday just seemed a little too odd and my gut feeling is generally right. Besides who wants to be with someone where you have to be constantly guessing what's going on with them..

 ..

Comment #4

Now that you have elaborated more about this guy and the other comments he has made I can see why you cancelled.  It was probably a good thing.  A guy who thinks all women are psycho needs help himself...

Comment #5

This guy sounds like a real jerk.  I hope you don't talk to him anymore.  I am betting you are awesome and all he should be doing is everything in his power to make you happy and feel good! ..

Comment #6

I think you meant your post for mostlysmiles, but it came to my email instead.  But I'll take the compliments....hehehe!..

Comment #7

I dont know what you emailed him but the you need help doesn't sound funny to me.  People do have different senses of humor, however, and emails, texting, isn't the same as actually talking or seeing each other when you can really get a better bead on what someone means.  And if your gut is doing all this screaming t you have at least a telephone conversation to clear the air before the date.

,..

Comment #8


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

Categories: Home | Aug 2010 - Acne | Aug 2010 - Weight Loss | July 2010 - Weight Loss |

July 2010 - Crohn's Disease | July 2010 - Celiac Disease | June 2010 - Weight Loss | June 2010 - Acne |

May 2010 - Weight Loss | May 2010 - Acne | April 2010 - Weight Loss | Mar 2010 - Weight Loss |

Mar 2010 - Dieting | Mar 2010 - Acne | Feb 2010 - Weight Loss | Feb 2010 - Dieting |

Jan 2010 - Dieting | Jan 2010 - Acne | Jan 2010 - Weight Loss | Dec 2009 - Acne |

Dec 2009 - Dieting | Dec 2009 - Weight Loss | Nov 2009 - Weight Loss | Nov 2009 - Dieting |

Oct 2009 - Dieting | Oct 2009 - Fitness | Oct 2009 - Weight Loss | Sep 2009 - Weight Loss |

Sep 2009 - Dieting | Aug 2009 - Dieting | Aug 2009 - Weight Loss | July 2009 - Weight Loss |

July 2009 - Dieting | Jun 2009 - Weight Loss | June 2009 - Dieting | May 2009 - Weight Loss |

May 2009 - Dieting | April 2009 - Weight Loss | April 2009 - Dieting | March 2009 - Weight Loss |

Feb 2009 - Weight Loss | Jan 2009 - Weight Loss | Dec 2008 - Weight Loss | Dec 2008 - Diet Programs |

Dec 2008 - Dieting | Dec 2008 - Diets | Nov 2008 - Dieting |

 

(C) Copyright 2010 All rights reserved.