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There is this match.com thing where a couple bringshome a baby and they rewind to when they met?

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My first question is: There is this match.com thing where a couple bringshome a baby and they rewind to when they met?.

My next question is: I am 21 and have never had a boyfriend! There have been a few potential boyfriends this past year but I have not been attracted to any of them. I just can't seem to find anyone that I like who likes me back!Any suggestions or helpful advice would be greatly appretiated......

Comments (5)

Your question was: There is this match.com thing where a couple bringshome a baby and they rewind to when they met?.

 Hey Copy, I only have a few minutes, but I thought I'd take a moment and do some 'probing, if you don't mind. :-).

 I know that you said that you haven't had a b/f, which isn't too big of a deal. IMO. I'm just curious what it is that you are communicating (non-verbally) about yourself to others, that has made you feel the way you do. What I mean is, is that how we FEEL about ourselves is how OTHERS will see us. So, if you have had the feeling like no one is attracted to you, or that guys won't like you, then... this WILL become TRUE.

NOT smart. Why? WE ARE HOW WE FEEL. Or, if I wanted to date using Match.com gorgeous women, but felt like they wouldn't like me, I would send off the 'signals' that I'm not worthy. Which if this were true, would REPEL gorgeous women. Again, how I think is what I get.

Negative thoughts create 'negative outcomes'. It's just how it works!!.

 I'm just curious how YOU see yourself, in the eyes of others. I know it does NOT matter what other people think, but, I'm curious how YOU see yourself. In your most HONEST opinion, what is it about you that people are attracted to? Now, obviously I have NEVER met you, so being able to HONESTLY answer this question, IMO, is where the answers that your looking for, lie..

 If you would, make a quick list of ALL the things that YOU find attractive about yourself and share them with me. I'm sure you have TONS of things that are attractive, but until YOU recognize them, it may be difficult to get past how you're feeling. So, make a list and share them with me. I'd be grateful to find out WHO YOU REALLY ARE..

 I look forward to it, Copy. :-).

 Z..

Comment #1

Lots of girls your age haven't had a serious boyfriend yet. Ask friends and family to set you up. Go on trips, to seminars, take classes, that interest you and that might attract some guys. Perhaps you can have a pot luck party - girls bring a dish and a "dish" male who's an ex or a friend....

Here's to a great 08.

,..

Comment #2

In order to date using Match.com successfully a woman needs to know herself.  In addition to what z-money said about writing down your wonderful traits, also jot down your not so wonderful traits, your hobbies, your likes and dislikes and interests.  When you look at the picture of who you are you can then better determine what type of man you are looking for to be your boyfriend. We all want to date using Match.com a man who is kind, generous of heart,  and affectionate.  What you might want to do is dig a little deeper when thinking about a man who interests you.  Let's say you like to scuba dive.  You might want to date using Match.com someone who also likes to scuba dive.  Then maybe you'd like to join a scuba club or socialize with other scuba divers.  dating (online dating with Match.com) is not only liking someone on the surface and hoping for the best.  dating (online dating with Match.com) entails compatibility on different levels too...

Comment #3

The law of attraction says Like attracts Like - so if your presence of mind is negative or in 'lack' then you are creating your own situation. It doesn't matter whether you understand or believe the law of attraction - it is fact just like the law of gravity.

That said, the first place anyone needs to look when they feel 'lonely' is within. Loneliness is a feeling that doesn't occur because you are alone or single but because you don't like the person you are alone and single with! If you don't like who you are - no one else will either!  In order to be fully open and receptive and hearty enough to withstand the rigors of dating (online dating with Match.com) and relationships you MUST first know who you are, what you offer and what you will/will not accept and what you want.

In iorder to know when you've 'arrived' you must first decide where it is you wish to go and then figure out the best way to get there and what you need for the journey. Just getting in the car is not enough..

Likewise, just wanting a BF is not enough. YOU have to be the kind of person you want in your life - YOU have to love, accept and respect yourself first before anyone else will ever be able to. This is where you start teh new year - getting a handle on who you are NOW - while you are unattached and single. Create a life you love regardless of whether a man is in it or not..

There is a great book called the Art of Being Single by Judy Ford and another by Victoria Moran called Fat, Broke and Lonely No More - I urge you to read one or both. HOn, until you like yourself and the life you have, you will continue to be unhappy. HAving a BF will not create feelings or situations to 'make' you happy because you haven't yet learned to do this for yourself..

Toni..

Comment #4

Thank you for replying so quickly. I completely agree with what you wrote and have since started writing out my list of attributes! You are completly right and I felt much better just by hearing someone else say that it is normal for girls my age not to have had a serious boyfriend yet as I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me.Copy2..

Comment #5


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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