candidablog.com

Song on match.com commercial?

Want the Latest Match.com Coupons Every Month?


Enter your email address below and we'll send you the latest coupon codes every month. We'll even give a lucky person a free 3 month offer.


My first question is: Song on match.com commercial?.

My next question is: As this has come up for me in a couple of threads now, I want to ask if anybody else has had similar experiences as myself.  In a previous post, I was talking about my 2 stalkers this year.  I just remembered that I actually have had 3 this year.  Stalker 3 followed me around one night when I was with a girl friend and just stared at me from a distance.  And then he would constantly ask our friends where I was and what I was doing. .

Almost all the guys I've dated have told me they love me within ONE WEEK.  I know that sounds crazy, but I promise you I can't make this up.  I have written evidence.. emails, letters, sms, voice mails (they were very vocal about this!).  And all of them had this same crazed thing about them... they were just extremely enamoured, which is endearing but when I tell them I don't feel the same way and I don't want to see them in that capacity anymore, they take it to psycho-proportions.  I have had to change my phone number because of one of the stalkers.  One other one was so bad, I almost called the police.  I was really scared!.

Really, I try and sympathize because I know they just like me alot.  That is flattering.  In fact they all make a point to say that they LOVE me.  So I try and be direct but kind and that just never works.   And then I try and have a sense of humor about their stalking and make light of it, but at some points I am geuinely frightened. .

So... why do I attract crazy people?   What compels a guy to tell me they love me in 7 days time?   I know there's a psychology to them... but I wonder why I have this pattern of meeting guys who do this.   .

Edited 11/4/2007 9:22 pm ET by allieshmatt..

Comments (10)

Your question was: Song on match.com commercial?.

I am VERY interested in what people have to say about this.  This has always happened to me, within a week a guy will tell me how much he cares about me.  All my friends say that I attract the crazy ones. ..

Comment #1

You might hate this answer .... but really, if it's a pattern with you.... YOU are the common denominator .... and I suggest a good counselor to figure out why you are attracted to these type of guys. .

Look at what *need* you have that is being filled by the behaviors of these guys. .

Self-esteem boost from the quick I love you's, want to marry you?  Don't feel you can get or deserve anyone else?  Want to *fix* them?  Thrill of the drama? Avoiding real commitment?  Lower expectations and demands of you from these guys?  Is it what you know?.

Who knows?  Could be any one, or several, things.  A good therapist and a desire to change on your part would really help you figure it out..

Best of luck,.

Zjaney.

Edited 11/5/2007 7:10 am ET by zjaney..

Comment #2

<<So... why do I attract crazy people?   What compels a guy to tell me they love me in 7 days time?   I know there's a psychology to them... but I wonder why I have this pattern of meeting guys who do this. >>.

Yes - the pyschology is the law of attraction -  like attracts like. For example, if you are emotionally unavailabe, then you attract emotionally unavailable people, whether you 'think' you are unavailable or not. If you are attracting clingy, controlling and emotionally unbalanced - then something in you is also clingy, controlling, and unbalanced. This is not something any of us like to hear - but until you hear it and get it - you can't do anything about it.

You've said ' Why do I attract these guys?' That is what you need to look within to find out. Bascially you have to BE the kind of person you want to attract. And if you are constantly attraching the kind you don't like, look at how you are similar and change it.

Hon, you respond to these guys for a reason - a need you have that they are filling. A good counselor can help you get to teh root of your pattern. Its a hard journey - but the only one you can take to having a good and loving relationship, first with yourself and then with someone else..

Toni..

Comment #3

I am not that attracted to them if they only make it up to 2 dates and I say goodbye right afterwards.  Just because they get a date using Match.com doesn't mean it has to go somewhere, but apparently that's what they thought... *shrug*.

Edited 11/5/2007 5:46 pm ET by allieshmatt..

Comment #4

Well my current boyfriend is not clingy or crazy at all.  He is awesome.  Are ALL of you in therapy already?  Maybe it is the age differences in here... but alot of you seem to be quick to recommend therapy to people right away.  Also, not that I'm poor or anything, is that assuming that since someone can afford Internet that they can afford a therapist?  Just a thought...

Comment #5

Since this keeps happening to you - you need to think ab out what you're putting out there.   And definitely you need to really assess someone before going out with him.  At a first meeting ask questions to learn about his history and relationship (thru Match.com) patterns.  If you look for clues of stalker-dom, you will see them before you become a target!.

,..

Comment #6

Well, you did ask the questions....

Yes, people suggest therapy - because it works. If someone asks a similar question to yours "why do I always get teh same thing" those of us who have experienced destructive relationship (thru Match.com) patterns and used therapy as a way to get past those self defeating behaviors will offer that  as an avenue to help others..

Ineffective communication and relation methods don't just 'go away' - they are changed and relearned.  But people can't change what they don't acknowledge..

I hope things work out with your current SO..

Toni..

Comment #7

Now I don't know you but my roommate had the same problem many times before as well.  Since I know her like a sister I see things she doesn't.  She was often too friendly and flirty to men.  She saw them as friends she wanted to get to know, but they saw a very cute girl that seems to be a total package.  Sometimes you have to be careful.  She came off as kind of a tease, not necesarily meaning to.  These men would be very intrigued by her, but she never fully had the interest they did.  I don't know how you interact with men, but sometimes being too friendly too fast can get you in trouble.  Be careful of how you interact...

Comment #8

I think some guys just like freaking women out and get a sick kick out of it...so they may have played with you some...not intending to really date using Match.com you...like how you and your current boyfriend are dating...but like a sick stunt.  Those guys need to have their heads examined and I have known men like this...not interested in me...I have just known men like this..

Then...some of it can be explained by how society has broken down overall.  People have gotten wired up and strung out because of how our government has allowed terror on every level from tainted food, to tainted toys, to exhausting our troops to harassing them if they want to board a plane - you get my drift..

I had one guy follow me and corrupted my life by questioning friends and coworkers about me.  I tried to get a restraining order and I didnt meet the criteria for it and within a month I experienced people in cars swerving too close to me, like to get me to swerve also, but out of control - like sideswiping.  Because he was influential he managed to get me booted from my job.  I am not done with him legally and I hope to get him locked up for doing this to me and other women..

But some guys are just very enthusiastic and get completely bowled over by being in love and dating (online dating with Match.com) someone who they really were interested in and they can come across like they want to own you or smother you.  That usually wears off over time...

Comment #9

If everyone says you always attract the crazy ones you should ask yourself why.  Is "crazy," drama making what pulls you in?  It is something to look at for those are not types that make stable boyfriends.

,..

Comment #10


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

Categories: Home | Aug 2010 - Acne | Aug 2010 - Weight Loss | July 2010 - Weight Loss |

July 2010 - Crohn's Disease | July 2010 - Celiac Disease | June 2010 - Weight Loss | June 2010 - Acne |

May 2010 - Weight Loss | May 2010 - Acne | April 2010 - Weight Loss | Mar 2010 - Weight Loss |

Mar 2010 - Dieting | Mar 2010 - Acne | Feb 2010 - Weight Loss | Feb 2010 - Dieting |

Jan 2010 - Dieting | Jan 2010 - Acne | Jan 2010 - Weight Loss | Dec 2009 - Acne |

Dec 2009 - Dieting | Dec 2009 - Weight Loss | Nov 2009 - Weight Loss | Nov 2009 - Dieting |

Oct 2009 - Dieting | Oct 2009 - Fitness | Oct 2009 - Weight Loss | Sep 2009 - Weight Loss |

Sep 2009 - Dieting | Aug 2009 - Dieting | Aug 2009 - Weight Loss | July 2009 - Weight Loss |

July 2009 - Dieting | Jun 2009 - Weight Loss | June 2009 - Dieting | May 2009 - Weight Loss |

May 2009 - Dieting | April 2009 - Weight Loss | April 2009 - Dieting | March 2009 - Weight Loss |

Feb 2009 - Weight Loss | Jan 2009 - Weight Loss | Dec 2008 - Weight Loss | Dec 2008 - Diet Programs |

Dec 2008 - Dieting | Dec 2008 - Diets | Nov 2008 - Dieting |

 

(C) Copyright 2010 All rights reserved.