Your question was: Someone signed up to the Latin American Match.com. with my email address?.
If you're going to hold on to hope, you need to put it in a box and put it in the back of the highest shelf of your emotional closet that you can, so that it's not something you can easily pull out and look at (in the metaphysical sense), because holding on to hope just keeps you stuck, otherwise..
I had a five month relationship (thru Match.com) end recently because of bad timing (or so he told me, although I do wonder if it was really because he just wasn't that into me) and it's hard not to hope that if and when things change we'll have another chance, but I'm really working on letting that hope go (or packing it away in the back of my closet, to use my metaphor). Because if it's meant to be, it'll work out whether I hold on to hope or not, and if it's not meant to be, then it's better that I move on so I can meet someone who is right for me in every respect including timing..
Also, if you're going to be seeing him frequently (will you still be playing on teams together), that will make things a LOT harder so you will have to work extra hard at moving on..
He sounds kind of yummy..I can see why you hope for the best..
It is one thing to need some time to process the emotions that are a part of breaking up and then there is the "I am not ready to be in a relationship" talk. Which do you think it is?.
I know you holding on to the hope that he can get his act together quickly, but like Sheri says, hope keeps you stuck and blocks your reception to a man who is actually emotionally available for you...
Sorry to hear about your break up Sheri. Hope it wasnt too brutal...
Welcome to the board. I hope I'm not jumping in too late!.
I got hit up side the head with a similar kind of break up a few months back and I wasn't as sensable when it first happens. So kudos to you for being strong. I did learn that when a man is emotional unavialable, he simply is unavialable. .
If you don't want to get serious with anyone else and the two of you run back into each other when his life is "figured out" than oaky. But don't wait around for him!!.
In my opinion, HOPING for something is a WEAK STATE OF MIND. "Oh, I hope he likes me." "I hope I get that job." I hope, I hope, I hope. WEAK WEAK WEAK. Going into something saying, "this is what I want and I will not settle for less", is a very strong a reassuring mind set. There is no doubt and no hope. It's all or nothing..
Ex: I just went back to MI to go in front of a mediator to get my license back after 2.5 yrs. without it. I didn't hope he'd consider giving it back, I knew he would give it back. I visualized it, I played the meeting over and over in my mind with a positive outcome and I felt everything I did was more than sufficient. Guess what, I was wrong and I was denied for another year.
My point is, is that I'm wasn't 'hoping' to get it back, I'M GOING TO GET IT BACK. I will do EVERYTHING it takes, so that this guy KNOWS I'm serious about my need to drive. Although I'm disappointed, I will use this failure as 'feedback', so that this next time, there will be NO DOUBTS..
If only people knew how weak it is, to hope for things. Successful people don't hope, they act upon their desires and learn from their failures..
I offer nothing to help you with this guy, but just wanted to point out the 'weak mindset' of hoping. Don't hope. Make whatever you wish to know, HAPPEN. COMMUNICATE!!!.
Hey z-money, I just had to respond to your post. I am also an action oriented person...why sit back and be passive when you can reach for the brass ring, right?.
The reason this attitude isnt more shared by women is because women are trained, coached, manipulated to not being assertive or aggressive...let the man lead the way...try to not hold too tight or go for what you want because you'll turn the guy off. So, as a result women sit back and "hope". In this situation she should communicate what she wants from the guy and if he does not reciprocate then move on and let him go - at least she would be proactive in her life. Also, this nonsensical commercial notion of romance tells a woman that "destiny" will bring her man to her - and sometimes that just doesnt happen without a little help from the woman..so women sit and wait for their lives to unfold instead of being an active participant in their lives - how boring..
When it comes to men I have learned that if it works...it just works from the start - both parties find each other attractive, both are available, both like each other or are drawn to each other. Everything just clicks...