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Some advice please

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I have been in a relationship (thru Match.com) for about 2 years now. The first 6 months, we were just friends (casual conversations, light joking, group lunches etc) and then started dating. Our relationship (thru Match.com) had been great, perfect in every way imaginable. (Very few arguements and if we did, it was quickly resolved, sex on a regular basis, excellen conversations etc) During the past few months, I have noticed that he is not as affectionate with words as he used to be. Meaning he does not call me "honey" etc as much as he used to. In fact, since May I've noticed a steady drop in the number of times he would use such words with me.

He now only says it when I say it to him first. If I go a few weeks without saying it, he does not question me. But if I asked him why he hasn't told me that he loves me, the response is "well you havent told me either". Which frustrates me to no end. I am not sure how to interpret what his actions or lack thereof means.

I have invested a lot of time and emotions into the relationship (thru Match.com) and would hate to just throw it away based on lack of (verbal)information.Any advice would be greatly appreciated...

Comments (4)

Your question was: Some advice please.

The only thing you can do is try to talk to him about it without coming across as though you are questioning him. Is the sex still good? How about those conversations..are they still good? If everything else is still good and his affectionate talk has waned then you are probably still okay. Have you withheld anything from him or decreased doing something for him that he once loved to receive from you? Sometimes men get "tit for tat" in relationships instead of just coming out and saying what is on their minds, which only leads to more problems...

Comment #1

Yes, the sex and coversation are still very good. I think you are head on with the "tit for tat" comment. How does one correct it, if at all possible? He once said that he was waiting for more from me, but was not actually specific. I in turn said I was waiting on more from him as well and that this is why I have not been giving more or as much as I used to...

Comment #2

"He once said that he was waiting for more from me, but was not actually specific."> aha...now it is time to ask for specifics...tit for tat or game playing...your call, but he needs to communicate what he wants from you instead of withholding terms of affection."I in turn said I was waiting on more from him as well and that this is why I have not been giving more or as much as I used to."> not giving as much as you used to...you may have uncovered your problem...

Comment #3

Once a person says, "I love you" they don't really have to keep saying it time and time again. You seem to be a person who needs reassurance all the time. It's unrealistic to want a person to tell you over and over again that they love you.Some men and women don't like to say that they love someone, they find it hard to do. He might be that type. If he has already said that he loves you, he thinks that that is enough. If you find your relationship (thru Match.com) is perfect in every way, be grateful.

Good luck..

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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