Your question was: So how do you feel about a client who is online with match.com ..and claims to be single but is not..
Hi! I have been in similar situations to yours and the only thing I can say is to not put all your eggs in one basket so to speak. This is said about a million times a day on these message boards and can be hard to take but- When a guy really wants to be with you...you'll know! I know it seems like he did and then all of a sudden stopped abruptly and that can be tough to take. but do you really want to be with someone you have to play a guessing game with? I guess what I'm trying to say is that when the right one comes a long -he will stop at nothing to be with you, won't ever make you guess how he feels and won't play games. I know it sounds like a fairytale and probably isnt what you want to hear-but it's the truth! When a man knows what he wants-he just KNOWS and so will you. I speak from experience when I say STAY away from a guy who acts flakey and uncertain. It almost always ends badly for you and will ultimately drive you CRAZY even if you are perfectly sane :-) I don't know this guy at all-but it he seems decent enough considering he was honest with you about his feelings having changed instead of being cowardly and stringing you along or giving you some lame excuse.
Just enjoy being young and single! It sounds cliche but you really dont need any man to be happy and believe it or not...once a girl realizes that-that's when all the men come flocking and you get to be the choosey one! go figure! Hang in there!..
You referred to him as a 'boy' in your post. How old is he? That could indicate his level of maturity, although sometimes age has nothing to do with maturity.
Unfortunately, if he told he has no feelings for you anymore, there is nothing that you can do about it. Women hear that line all the time, along with "I don't want to be the one to hurt you" and "You deserve better than me". Puh-lease. These are all lines men use when they can't be man enough to say what's really up. I'm really sorry this has happened to you, but it's only been 2 months. Don't put your life on hold for him..
CL - Women of Color ..
It is possible hat he got scared and it is possible he was playing you to see if he would get in your pants if he hasn't already. Get to the point. Meet him in person, DO NOT act obsessed with having to know the reason. Instread, remain calm, even though down deep, you are going crazy not knowing what went wrong. Be calm and relaxed and be blunt. Say "I am ok if you don't want to see me, just tell me, are you seeing someone else? Did I scare you off because I was being too much? Just tell me the truth, I am ok with it now.
Once he does, thank him for telling you and say, "ok then, goodbye". I know you will be boiling inside but THERE ARE other men to meet. Don't waste your time dragging someone back into something he doesn'r want to happen. TRUST me, there will be other men that will make you happier. It is not the end of the world, especially since you harly know this guy.
At least you'll get an honest answer if you remain calm, show him that you are really fine with it and he'll be able to be more come fowarding..
Ahh, yes, i know what you are feeling and thinking.. because I was in a VERY similar situation before. If he was acting all sweet and nice to you all along and then suddenly told you "he doesnt have feelings for you anymore," than I think he may have put up an act all along just to get in your pants, if he hasn't already. I've dealt with guys like that before, and usually that is the only reason for their behavior, because if for such a short time knowing him, a guy tells you that the reason why he's braking up with you is because "he doesnt have feelings for you anymore" I would doubt he had any feelings to start with! So take this into consideration while you do what aalza suggested...