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Should Latinos use Match.com?

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My question is: Should Latinos use Match.com?.

My 2nd question is:  I have been with my bf almost 1 yr.

He just went back to his country for short vacation 1 day ago, and said will talk with me on line. Now he has already been to his country, yet he is not shown up on line, I can understand it cz he has not been back for long time, he must spend time with family members.  But I think he should be at least drop me a line to tell me he has been back, all is good, sort of. It means he has me in his mind. I think it is normal way. For example, if I go to travle some place, I will call my parents and my bf after I get there, cz for me, they are very important.   .

It made me think of anohter thing: he is from euro, and he got his green card 3 months ago, yet he only told me he applied for green card, but he did not tell me after he got it.  I felt he was very happy those days, so I kept asking what happened. He finally told me that he got his green card.

Another thing which just happend b4 he went back to his country. He got a mail and then left the document on desk. I admitted I should not seen his mail without his permission, yet I still did not regret of reading it: he is now applying for American citizenship.  Then I told him directly, he said 1. I should not read it without his permission which I already appologized to him  2.  he thought I cant understand the termilogogy of that document.    .

At that moment, I felt so bad, because whenever I have some IMportant plans, I always tell him cz I treat him as one of closest persons. Maybe it is just silly to do so.  But based on what happend above, I felt he just did the opposite to me.  Whether he got green card or becomes an american citizen, it does not matter to me at all.

Yet we do care and love each other, and help each othe a lot. I get confused: on one hand, he cares me so well; on the other hand, he may not treat me as closest person as I treat him. We even start talking about our future and marriage.  Maybe he is just acting??? or Maybe I think too much??..

Comments (5)

Hi, thanks for your reply!.

What I cant figure out is that I always tell my important decisions or plans to him, why cant he treat me the same way? I mean when he has important decision or plan, he seldom told me forwardly.

Thanks..

Comment #1

He doesnt treat you the same way because he isnt you. And being from a different country the women and men may have different way of doing things...

Comment #2

"he doesnt treat you the same way because he isnt you.".

This is basically what I came here to say. Likefish, I hope you can learn to understand that everyone is different, we all have different standards for how we treat others because we all want to be treated differently. It's wrong to think that becuase you do something, he automatically should. You do things because that's how you want to act so that's how you choose to act. Do you do things in order to manipulate him into mirroring what you're doing? I hope not, because that doesn't work...

Comment #3

Thanks for your reply!.

Before I thought if he did not contact me forwardly, it may mean he does not keep me in his mind or he does not really care me. I guess it shouldnt be what I thought.

Thanks..

Comment #4

Yes, some people handle situations differently, but there are some actions that indicate a lot about one's personality. I must say, that although snooping overall is not good. I think it's fine that you took a peak. He seemed defensive and almost belittled you by saying he didn't expect her to understand. If you ask me, that would make me raise an eyebrow.I'm not trying to make you upset. But be realistic and objective when judging intentions/character.

Some people are too aloof and they don't catch the signs. Just be aware, store it in your head. You definitely don't want to come across as some crazy clingy worried girlfriend, but don't be the girl he can walk all over...

Comment #5


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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