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Should I Tell Him?

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I'm currently still on a bar billiards team with a guy I was in a two month relationship (thru Match.com) with (was a sexual relationship (thru Match.com) within that time). Question is, should I tell my current bf of two months that I was in a relationship (thru Match.com) with him? He stops by my games sometimes and has met the other guys on my team. Last nite was the first nite my ex and him were both there at the same time, and since my ex was in the middle of playing I didn't introduce him...but I've introduced the other guys from my team and feel I should. I just don't know if it's weird and if it's wrong that I don't tell him we had a short term thing. I'm afraid he mite be upset or jealous with it (and it would be over somthing I really don't care about anymore) because I think he could be like that even though I haven't seen it yet. What do you think? Should I just leave it? Me and my ex get along like friends now, there's no weirdness there.

Thanks!..

Comments (6)

Your question was: Should I Tell Him?.

If the shoe were on the other foot, would you want to know? Since you dont want to be disrespectful to your BF then it would be wise to tell him. He could get jealous about it and it could open up a can of worms for you, but you need to determine what is important to you and to your life...

Comment #1

I honestly don't think I would wanna know if it were the other way around. I think I would think about it too much...and it may bring up feelings that are unnecessary. If it's over why should it matter? I think bringing it up would just make him think it "should" matter. Before saying what I thought I wanted to see what others had to say...

Comment #2

Is your BF a lot like you in this respect? That he maybe wouldn't want to know? Would HE tell you if the situation was reversed?It is normal to feel uncomfortable if one's SO is hanging out with an ex, whether it was just sex or not. The one thing you have to consider is...his humiliation factor. Everyone at the bar where you play knows you and your ex were involved once, right? So if he starts coming around and everyone knows BUT him...he could get angry with you for that reason alone...

Comment #3

Ok so what are suggestions on how to bring it up to him and tell him??? He was already in the same room as him but was not introduced because my ex was busy playing. I don't know if thats a problem like he's gonna think I didn't want to introduce him, because I don't really care. Also, would I tell him beforehand or after introduction...how do I go about this the best way to get the least controversy if any? I don't want to just bring it up out of nowhere, because then he mite wonder why I'm bringing it up and question it or something...

Comment #4

If you determine that telling him is what you want to do...then you have a number of ways to handle it. I wouldn't worry about the one time your ex was busy playing. You can segue into that conversation by discussing your game, or a particular game, or the next game you have. You can say (the truth) which is that at one point in history you and this guy dated for a short period, and it never took off, and neither one of you digs the other in that way anymore. You can add that you thought he should know out of respect for him. He may ask you questions about this guy or about the relationship.The main thing is...if your BF is someone who you would like to have a real long term relationship (thru Match.com) with, then at least you would be starting out on an honest level.

You see, by exposing an ex to your BF, you dont have him in your "back pocket" anymore, so to speak, to a guy who is considering commiting to you long term - which is how your BF could feel...

Comment #5

If the positions were reversed how would you feel? Would you want to know someone on your boyfriend's billiards team was an ex lover?.

,..

Comment #6


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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