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Should I take my two teenagers out of my match.com profile? I hardly get any winks and I'm very pret

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My first question is: Should I take my two teenagers out of my match.com profile? I hardly get any winks and I'm very pret.

My next question is: I have been dating (online dating with Match.com) my bf for almost 3 years...unfortunetly we had to separate and began a long distance relationship. I live in Africa and he lives in the US....OH and I am 17 and he is 18...as I was saying...we have been in a long distance relationship (thru Match.com) for about a year and a few months and soon I will be going to the us for college....he lives in a city different frm the one I will be living and we thought about moving in together because we are tired of the long distance situation...we have thought of it and r excited about it...bt there is a problem...my dad does not know tht I am dating (online dating with Match.com) mi bf...and mi godfather is the reason why I am going to the us...he lives there and thou we wont be living in the same house...he will sort of take care of me..which means tht I will have to hide mi bf frm mi godfather AND frm all the ppl who r frm mi country..cuz mi godfather works at the embassy so he knows most of them...

Should I just not care about wht ppl say and hope my dad never finds out tht I am living with mi bf? (btw,in mi culture moving in together is considered somethign tht only a married couple or soon to be married couple should do)....

Are we too young to move in together?...lik a lot of ppl think tht we r...bt I kno of a lot of ppl who moved in together earlier and r doing fine....

Plz...i really need advice*..

Comments (6)

Your question was: Should I take my two teenagers out of my match.com profile? I hardly get any winks and I'm very pret.

(bumping this up so it isn't missed).

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Comment #1

>>are we too young to move in together?<<.

IMO? Yes. 17 is extremely young! Even at 25, some people wonder if they should move in with a partner. There are so many things that could go wrong in your situation:.

(1) You will start off your living together by lying to the people who are taking care of you. Not a way to show gratitude, IMO..

(2) HOW would you 'hide' someone with whom you are living? What would happen if your godfather wanted to see where you lived/visit you? Do you really want to be living 'on eggshells'? When two people live together, they should be able to do so comfortably. Friends/family members should be able to visit if they choose to..

(3) What would happen if you and your boyfriend broke up? While I'm sure it's something you don't want to think about, it's a possibility in ANY relationship. You would then have to pack up and find somewhere else to live - and find another lie to tell your godfather. Also, things like finances usually put a strain on couples who are living together. Bills, etc. have to be paid and can be the source of many arguments. That is unnecessary stress for two teens, IMO..

(4) I just think that anyone under 21 should take dating (online dating with Match.com) VERY slowly. You're young. What is the rush? IMO, the chances of the relationship (thru Match.com) working out are better if you two live apart, but spend time in each other's homes..

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #2

Yes... You are way way way too young. If you feel you have to hide your relationship (thru Match.com) from your family you are not mature enough to live with or marry a man, sorry but I see no good coming of this. I don't mean to insult you, there's nothing wrong with not being mature enough to get married at age 17. I hope everything works out regardless...

Comment #3

No, you should move in together.  You're too young.  Focus on school, move into campus housing or get a roommate close to school.   Its fine to have a boyfriend ... but, you don't need to be complicating matters with a live-in relationship.  Too much, too soon.  Focus on your education, first and foremost!..

Comment #4

Please don't be mad at me but IMHO both you and your bf are waaaaaay  too young to even be with someone on even vaguely long-term basis, let alone live with them, let alone make any plans for the future with them. At your age, you date using Match.com - as many people as you like, in order that you can gather experience and decide what / who it is that you  want in life...

Comment #5

You are very young, that is one very important point. The other is do you really want the crux of your relationship (thru Match.com) to be about a lie - something you have to keep hidden from all the people you care about? Is your godfather someone you can talk to, a good sounding board?.

,..

Comment #6


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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