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Should I Pretend I Don't Know???

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I was on a job sight for 2 weekends & one of the store managers gave me his card & was flirting with me.  I went home & looked up his email site...it happened to be a myspace site w/ his picture...stating he is married!!!  What's with that?!  Didn't he realize I'd check him out on his email site?  The nerve of this guy!  I've never dated a married man, nor will I start!  He even mentions that God & his wife are his 2 hero's!!! .

My question is, what, if anything do I say to this guy when I see him in 3 weeks on the job sight?  Pretend I don''t know & ignore him, or tell him I don't go out w/ married men?!  (I'd like to slap him!)  (I am 52yrs old & he says online that he is 48yrs old. ) What's with married men?!  I've always been a little nieve, but I was actually insulted...who does he think I am anyway!  What should my approach be when I see him?  I will be sent to this job sight twice a month so I will see him again...I have to see him again bc he is the manager & he signs off on my paperwork before I go home.  I've never been approached by a married man that I know of.  What should I do?.

Thanks,.

Joiestarr1.

 ..

Comments (14)

Your question was: Should I Pretend I Don't Know???.

It's entirely possible that he's just a flirtatious guy and that it didn't mean he was interested in you.  A lot of married men just like to flirtI personally don't think it's appropriate but that may have bee all it was..

I do think that since he gave you his card knowing you'd see his myspace page, it's unlikely that he was trying to start something..

I would just act professionally the next time you see him and not go along with any flirtatious behaviorbe polite and professional but not friendly.  I wouldn't say anything unless he brings it up..

Sheri..

Comment #1

Well he certainly isnt professional is he?  He should have given you his business card, not  a personal card..

Unless he makes an overt move towards you you really cant call him on anything.     No decent manager would flirt with an employee so the fact that he flirted and "innocently" gave you a personal card is a way of sending a vibe out there so dont ignore what he did, just make sure he understands that you are not impressed should he make an overt move...

Comment #2

From what you've said, he didn't ask you out, he just was flirty and gave you his card.  While the flirting is likely inappropriate given his marital status, he still hasn't asked you on a date using Match.com so you have no idea if he is a cheater or not.  I have friend that has both personal and business cards and gives both out to many people.  She's married and it doesn't mean she wants to date using Match.com them.  So just because he gave you his card doesn't mean anything and like Sheri said, since it had his myspace on it, it's unlikely that he was approaching you for a date using Match.com knowing that you would probably check out his myspace and see that he is married..

So don't put the cart before the horse and tell him that you don't date using Match.com married men when he hasn't asked you on a date using Match.com yet!  Be professional and cordial from here on out and nothing more.  I'm not saying you have, but do not encourage the flirty behavior and if he continues to be flirty, then remove yourself from the situation promptly.  If he should ask you out, THEN tell him that you looked at his myspace and that you do not date using Match.com married men..

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Comment #3

Did he ask you out? I don't understand why giving you his card implies anything that deserves a slap?.

I give my business card out all the time. That doesn't mean anything at all..

I wouldn't assume just because he flirted a little and gave you his card that he necessarily wanted to date using Match.com you..

Smile,.

Deirdre..

Comment #4

Next time he flirts with you at the store you can mention the fact that his wife may not like him flirting with other women. State that you don't go out with married men who are  liers and cheaters!..

Comment #5

Tell him I don't go out w/ married men?! this sounds like a plan. be blunt, be honest-if he starts up a conversation with you-you can be polite, but if he starts flirting with you, just tell him "hey, buddy, I dont date using Match.com married men-i never have, I never will." let it go at that. you dont have to be mean or rude or anything-just tell him the truth. take care!..

Comment #6

I disagree.  Flirting is not "dating".  Is his flriting behavior inappropriate?  Yes.  Does it mean he wants to date using Match.com her?  Not necessarily.  A lot of people just flirt.  That's the way they are.  He gave her his card that had his myspace indicating he's married.  I think potentially putting them BOTH in an embarrassing situation of telling him "Hey buddy, I don't date using Match.com married men!" when all he's ever done is flirt is completely unnecessary.  He may not even realize he's being flirty - many people are like that too - they think they are being friendly and it's taken as flirty by someone else.  As long as the OP keeps a professional demeanor that's the best situation..

IF and ONLY IF he really does ask her on a date, should she say "Hey buddy, I don't date using Match.com married men!".  Otherwise, she just looks silly and like she's jumping to conclusions (IMO) and he feels awkward and embarrassed..

 .

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Comment #7

Thanks for your imput...something to think about, but he did invite me out for coffee after I got done w/ my shopping...I doubt if it was to talk about his wife!  A guy doesn't just ask a gal out for a cup of coffee after late night shopping...earlier in the day he was quizzing me about what I was doing later on that night...he got off of work at 7 pm & clearly wasn't going home to his wife after being to work for 8 hours that day.  Doesn't that seem a bit odd on a Saturday night?  I don't think his intentions were honorable.  I think you gave me something to think about...I might not say anything unless he clearly states he wants to take me out again.  I still don't trust his intentions.  Thanks!  Joie ..

Comment #8

Thanks for your response.  Yeah, I can be short & sweet about it if he happens to indicate that he wants to go out with me.  I don't think I'll say anything unless he gets obviously flirtatious w/ me or asks me out again...if he does.    Joie..

Comment #9

His intentions do not appear to be honorable. Be careful...

Comment #10

Yeah, if he asks you out again, even just for coffee, that's definitely time to say "Thanks for the invite but I prefer to keep our relationship (thru Match.com) purely professional especially given that you're married."  I think you're right to not trust his intentions, because it does sound fishy, but it seems odd that he'd give you a card with his myspace on it that says he's married if he was truly hitting on you.  But most definitely keep up your guard and if it goes any further, then nip it in the bud.

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Comment #11

Simple and to the point..

"How is your wife ?"..

Comment #12

It's amazing how many people don't realize they are leaving an easy cyber trail to follow.  You can be  polite, nothing further, when you see him. You can't be outright rude since this will be a continuing relationship. But if he tries to continue the flirtation and if he starts flirting say you checked out his email site and saw that he's married and it's your policy not to get too friendly with attached guys so you'd like to keep things friendly but professional..

,..

Comment #13

Yes this is a work "relationship" so you do want to be polite and professional, you can also drop hints if it comes up over things you and your "boyfriend" are doing over holidays.

,..

Comment #14


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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