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Should I contact him?

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So I went to house warming party and was having a great time when this guy caught my eye. I was outside with my friends that smoke and he came down to hang out. We both didnt smoke and started talking. We ended up hanging out all night.  I found out that he is the best friend of the girls boyfriends whose house it was??? Did anyone follow that? Lol.  And that he just moved about 2 hours away.

He said well then lucky me huh??? I asked him the same thing and he told me he was single.  .

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At one point there was no more places left to sit so he pulled me down on the floor between his legs and asked if he could rub my shoulders. I said of course. He then offered me a drink and let him know that I am not a big drinker but I would kill for some PowerAde because I was still trying to replenish form my 10 mile run in the morning. He then walked with me to the liquor store that was a few blocks away when we got onto the street he put me on the side of him furthest from the street and said ladys should have to worry about dodging cars, you walk on this side. Since I was walking a little slow because I was in pain he held his arm out for me to take then said something to the effect of he has never had a women this beautiful on his arm before and he could get use to this. We talked the whole night and had just an amazing time.

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Then it came time to say goodnight. He pulled me in another room to say goodbye. Gave me the biggest hug and told me he better see me again. I told him I will be around since we are all friends we will see each other again. He walked me to the door grabbed my hand turned me around and I thought was going to kiss me. But instead he grabbed my hand and kissed it and then said you made this night amazing, thank you! I walked out of the door and just couldnt believe he didnt ask for my number or anything.

So if they separate the chance of both groups of friends getting together is slim to none.  So my question is should I contact him? Thanks to the wonderful world of myspace I know he has a page and could easily shoot him and email or friends request. But should I? Or should I just leave it at the fact that he didnt ask for a reason and move on???? Let me know what you think!.

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Thank you in advance!..

Comments (11)

Your question was: Should I contact him?.

I wouldn't contact him directly. I know the couple you are both friends with are going through a rough time, but I would chat with your friend (the woman) about him and find out what his deal is and see if he mentioned you to the guy. If he didn't ask for your number then he probably wasn't interested at that moment in dating (online dating with Match.com) because of the 2 hour drive. If you want, you can have your friend talk to her SO and see if they can pass your phone number on to the guy. But dont rule out dating (online dating with Match.com) others inthe meantime...

Comment #1

Thank you for the reply!.

 That's what I was thinking too. I tried to find out in the round about way if he asked about me or anything. I also made it clear when I was asking about him that I was interested and she could pass that info along if he asked..

But unfortunately the night of the party was when things started to go down hill for this couple. I wasn't in the room when it happened but from what I was told by her; one of her friends had a little too much to drink and spilled some of their secrets out to the group. Things that the guy asked to keep just between them.  So she was busy dealing with that the rest of the party. Otherwise I am sure if she would have seen us she would be helping me out.

I just feel so bad calling her and saying "So I know you and the man you have been with for the last 4 years are on the edge of a breakup, but did that guy ask about me?" lol.

Also we talked about the long distance. I said something about how it sucked that he just moved. He told me he was down here more weekends than not because all of his friends and family are down here. He also asked if I ever been in a long distance relationship (thru Match.com) before. I told I hadnt but for the right guy I was willing to be in one.  He said that was a great answer.

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 I guess I am just going to have to wait it out and see what happens.grrrr.I hate this part!.

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Comment #2

It sounds like you want to contact him, so why not? I'm not into all of these dating (online dating with Match.com) "rules", I think if you play those games you could miss out on meeting a really nice guy! What's the worst that could happen? He doesn't reply? At least then you know it wasn't meant to be. I think he might be impressed that you contacted him.I say go for it!..

Comment #3

Michelle,.

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 Thank you for your reply! I also thought what's the harm? The worst thing that can happen is he denies me or doesn't respond, right??? And trust me I can deal with that! But then the lines from the book "He's Just Not That Into You" keep running through my head. You know the whole if he REALLY liked you trust me he would have gotten your number, and would have made sure to let you know he was into you.

But then I think about my ex and we met each other 4 times before I finally grabbed his phone and put my number in it.  We were madly in love and together for 3.5 years after that! Afterwards he told me he had his eye on me from day one but didn't really know my story and didn't want to step on anyones toes..

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Ugh I just hate this second guessing part. I am so confident in all aspects of my life except for dating. Then I question myself stupid.

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Comment #4

I'm new to the dating (online dating with Match.com) scene (recently divorced after being with my dh since HS), and I'm too busy and too old to play games. If I see someone I like, I wouldn't hesitate to initiate contact. I know some women won't do that, but I'm not like other women & I've found that many guys like that. I'd rather get shot down than chance missing a wonderful guy, KWIM??And who knows what he's thinking? Maybe he thought you'd see each other again soon...maybe he's afraid to ask his friend about you.... Take a chance...what's the harm!..

Comment #5

Yeah I think I am just going to contact him. But I might wait till Friday late in the day to do it. I dont check my myspace on the weekend so if he denies me or doesnt respond and we happen to see each other this weekend ( highly unlikely but you never know)  it will help cut down on the awkward factor on my side since I wont know yet.

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Well wish me luck and I will let you guys knows what happens!.

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Thank you for your replies  .

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Comment #6

Hey justanothergirl08,I know that you received many replies here, which encouraged you to contact him, but if I were you, I wouldn't do it. From your story it sounds like your guy is a very confident and determined individual. He definetly did sweep you of your feet with his charm and knew exactly what he was doing. So, why would a guy like that be shy and not ask for your number? I think it could be some kind of a test, or maybe there is really a good reason why he didn't ask for your number. Men are men, and if they want something, they go for it. Yes, it might sound like playing games, but there are certain rules that you should follow.

I wouldn't even mention anything to your friend. You need to keep it really cool. I know I wasn't there and don't know anything, but I think there is a reason why he didn't ask for your number and you just have to be patient. There are so many guys out there, so start dating (online dating with Match.com) others. If he contacts you, it's awesome, if he doesn't; then, move on..

Comment #7

I dont blame you for not talking to your friend since she is going through a hard time right now. Some people dont mind focusing on other things when they are feeling blue because it takes their mind off of their troubles...but I dont' know your friend or how she handles the bad times."I also made it clear when I was asking about him that I was interested and she could pass that info along if he asked."> very cool.Why not get a group of people together on the weekend and issue him an invitation via email or telephone?..

Comment #8

THROW THAT STUPID ()*$)@(#$*)(@#$*()@# BOOK IN THE TRASH!!!! I can't imagine how many potential relationships didn't work out or never got off the ground because of that crap. My BF did not contact me for SIX WEEKS after we met!!!! And we didn't have our first date using Match.com til 3 weeks after that, AND we only saw each other once or twice a month for the first six months! Now that's a bit extreme, I must admit, but once I got over that STUPID book (thank you, therapist) I realized that he was actually VERY into me. He just had to finish school before he could spend any real time. And once he did; whoah Nellie, it's been amazing. Now we've been together a year and a half and are very happy.

***If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)***..

Comment #9

Whatever you decide to do here is fine - a casual hi on his My Space page would not be a horrible thing but he came on sooo strong I almost would prefer to let him keep on courting, to make the effort. He knows how to reach you as well..

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Comment #10

Go ahead and send an email but be fore warned, events like you with this rarely turn into anything serious. Have you wondered why he has not tried to contact you if things were so perfect???????..

Comment #11


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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