Your question was: Should a person be frustrated knowing someone they like is logging onto their Match.com account?.
Hi Jojo, I went through a very similar experience when I was in my 20's....was engaged to the guy and we mutually broke it off. I told him at the time we split ways there would be a day when both of us were content with our lives, would run into each other and continue what we had forever. That was 25 years ago.....and to my surprize for the first time in 25 years he and I ran into each other....both of us very content, very single. Every emotion we had came back to us stronger than it was 25 years ago. We are so happy with each other now. I know in my heart, as I did back then that he was the "one".....we just couldn't make it work then. Time does heal, it also allows you to grow into the person you want to become. I say let it go..........Fate works in mysterious way. ..
Thank you so much for the advice. I am going to continue, just taking one day at a time and see where things lead too. I will keep you updated. ..
It sounds like you both have toyed with the idea of rekindling your romance over time. I think that if he wanted to date using Match.com you again he'd contact you. Sometimes it is a good idea to make a call or email to let a guy know you like him if he is hesitant to make a move or doesnt know you like him, but you and he are very familiar with each other so shyness shouldnt be a deterent when it comes to you. .
Those cute little phrases like "If you love something then let it go, if it comes back to you then it's meant to be or it's yours" are nice rationalizations to help people cope with uncomfortable or unhappy circumstances. Sometimes it works out sometimes it doesnt so the person is left thinking "it wasnt meant to be" when it all had to do with the fact that they let an opportunity slide by. I prefer Steve Winwood's "if you see a chance take it...find romance...it's all on you." Many people prefer to sit back and allow circumstances, "fate", or other people control their lives and that's fine...because it takes less work or exposure to pain to live that way..
If you really want to explore the "what ifs" about your ex then do it. At least you'll know. I tend to back away from guys who let me slip through their fingers because 1) they cant really be all that interested in me, 2) they have no "zing" to them, no passion - because if a guy is really into a woman he wont let anything or anyone stand in his way, 3) it tells me a lot about how they live their lives overall. So if you feel that your ex is allowing you to slip by and you feel that his "want" of you is really important, then let him slide by. However, if you feel that there could be a good reason for him not making the first move, then you contact him, but dont do all the work...
LOVED YOUR ANSWER!!! specially this part:.
"tend to back away from guys who let me slip through their fingers because 1) they cant really be all that interested in me, 2) they have no "zing" to them, no passion - because if a guy is really into a woman he wont let anything or anyone stand in his way, 3) it tells me a lot about how they live their lives overall. So if you feel that your ex is allowing you to slip by and you feel that his "want" of you is really important, then let him slide by. However, if you feel that there could be a good reason for him not making the first move, then you contact him, but dont do all the work.".
I read parts of that book "he is not that into you if" and I almost cried even though it was supposed to be a funny book. It is so true, if a guy is really interested, he will ask for your number, he will call, he will make an attempt to talk to you or see you more often and he will jump in. And I also agree that if you are interested you should drop a hint and then let him "take the ball and run with it" - if that is what he wants to do, instead of doing all of the work for him (which I have made the mistake of doing in the past). .
I get this feeling that maybe he might be just keeping her "warm" incase other things do not work out for him...but they are both so young!! They are babies - no need to be rushing into a serious relationship (thru Match.com) just yet. Maybe this is the time to really explore and open their hearts to other possibilities. .
Well, no one likes to be kept as a warmer for someone's lonely Saturday nights. they are both in their twenties and usually men dont know what they want in life period in their twenties let alone who is right for them for marriage...