Your question was: Self Respect vs Love, Bar Groupie dilema.
A man who is sincerely interested will let you know it and he willmake time for you in his life, regardless of how full it is. That said, until his schedule frees up some, if this were me, I wouldn't be so accomodating and visiting him at his job. That isn't dating (online dating with Match.com) or getting to know each other - but it is an easy way for him to get your time and attention without having to change HIS routine. He isn't going out of his way for you - but you are!Youare sacrificing what is best for you to make it easy for him to occupy your time and attention - Hon, you are giving up sleep and your time and energy for a man who hasn't shown a willingness to do anything for you. Good relationships require reciprocity on both sides - and one side can't do all of the accomodating as you are doing.You admit you want the 'unavailable' man - like attracts like - consider what you are getting by dating (online dating with Match.com) men who are unavailabe? Having done this myself for a number of years, all you are doing is keeping yourself unavailable for a good and truly intimate relationship (thru Match.com) with someone who IS available. For me it was a protection mechanism - by choosing someone with a built in barrier (distance, emotionally unavailable, workaholic, etc) then I had someone to blame when things didn't work out - and they never did.
When you solve that riddle, you can change the outcomes..
Why dont you give this guy your phone number and tell him that when he has a free moment you would love to go out sometime?..
Sweetie...if he wanted to sepnd time with you outside of his jobs he would find the time. You are spinning your wheels and for what?? Be a responsible woman and get to bed at a reasonable hour and don't spend time with him while he works. Make him come to you...yeah I know....if you do he won't....but that would solve your problem now won't it?Thom.
Wait - you spend hours and hours fending off interested guys, just hanging out at a bar waiting for him to spend a few free moments with you - and he doesn't make an effort to spend his little pockets of free time with you? What is wrong with this picture and why is this an appealing proposition for you? .
There's lots of other guys out there who I'm sure can make time for you. Why not get out of the bar and try to find one? .