That totally sucks!.
What about changing your reply from "I can't have that" to "I really don't want it!" with a big smile. They can't really argue much with you if you plain don't want the food they are offering. Firm and friendly. Don't let them get to you. (Easier said than done, I know)...
I know the feeling. Easter was rough! My new reply is "It will still taste good when I'm thin." I'd rather be thin than eat chocolate cream pie, my mother's raisin bread, or her family recipe easter pie calzone..
Stay tough. You can do it...
I agree. I mean, I told my significant other, who is diabetic I might add, that I needed his support. Did I get it? Nope! Ultimately, I know it is my choice to grab that food and put it in my mouth, but a little support from home would be nice!!..
You have lost 28.7 pounds saying "no, thank you"! Good job girl!..
Ugh, my mom is like that! "Just have a slice of cheesecake, you deserve it!" No, Mom!..
Just wait until you start approaching your goal weight! When people that were previously supportive see that you're starting to look good, they'll really step up the sabotage. I think a lot of it is subconscious/unintentional, but it's hard to live with when it's coming from people who are supposed to care for you. (I'm not a negative person, so don't think I'm just being a downer, LOL!) Seriously - when you start approaching or passing up your thin friends' weights, it's like you suddenly become a threat to them or something. We should all be happy for each other and encouraging one another, but some people just can't seem to do that..
That's what's so great about this community. We ALL want you to succeed and look fabulous! Don't let the nay-sayers steer you off-course!..
You might have to do just that. Sometimes politeness has to take a backseat for a while until you get your point across. Best wishes to you!..
I have found that saying something like "you know I am on this diet and I need you to respect my decision when I tell you I can't have certain foods" gets them to back off...
Girl, I hear ya! My Dad said something yesterday about, why don't you have some of this. I looked right at him and said, "YEAH, that's real supportive. I have lost almost 60 lbs and you want to off me what????" I just laid into him and told him to back off, this was my choice and he needed to respect it. He backed down after that. Sometimes polite only goes so far...
Just tell them NOTHING tastes as good as slim feels...
My boss did that the other day. We were having a cookout and she offered me a hot dog.
"Do you want a hot dog? Or is (snidely and rudely) that not on your diet?".
I got a lot of "can you eat this" or "can you eat that?" because I was seeing people that I hadn't seen in months. My answer was - honestly - I CAN eat anything I want. But right now, I choose not to. I do understand how you feel though. I find that easier around family than I do at work, because I feel like I *should* be more polite to the people I work with...
I know from past experience that a few of my family members do not quite know how to relate to me if not through food. Just as I need to redefine my self image, they will need to redefine our relationship...
I had to huck a plate of cupcakes off of the balcony to give my significant other the.
"ah-ha" moment about offering me foods that I cannot eat! He thought he was being nice, showing me that I was okay without the diet too. I told him that the support was appreciated, but that I needed support for the diet. That really worked!..
I find that not only are there so many comments of "c'mon, a little isn't going to kill you...!" that I just stare with a blank expression, shaking my head NO until they finally get the clue. It is annoying, but so much of how we communicate with family,friends, kids, co-workers is with food.
We celebrate with food, and we also soothe with food. We LOVE with food. Food is such a common language. Suddenly, we are speaking a different language, and some people have a hard time figuring out how to relate to that. It takes some adjusting, especially since they are still "speaking the language" themselves.......so to speak...
That is a great reply...with the big smile. Thanks...
Way to go, talk about a subtle hint Love it!!..
On Saturday my fiance met me in the hot tub. He brought a beer for himself and a chilled glass of wine for me. He was being sweet. I said thanks, cheers, had a small sip, tossed the rest of the wine "over-board" and smiled. :-)..
Tell them it's all about choices and you 'choose not to'.........stand strong!!..
I just wrote a blog about this! My mom is trying desperately to force any food she can on me. If she were nice to me and we had a good relationship, I could simply say she loves me and wants to feed me. However, she's never done this and she's stepped up the sabotaging lately because I'm down 50lbs and people are starting to notice. She's very competitive with me and it's horrible..
I also have a hard enough journey! No need to force food down my throat. I just tell her no thanks and move on. I can't dwell on it or I may cave.
Good luck! It's really a sad thing to go through, but I totally relate...
Why don't you say exactly that? I'm serious. When I first started, one of my coworkers went from very supportive to offering me a bite of everything she ate. I finally stopped her on maybe the 3rd day she did it and said, "why are you all of a sudden trying to sabotage my efforts? I am trying very hard to lose weight and have told you what kinds of foods I can eat. Stop offering me things." She got a very shocked look, but ultimately apologized and did not offer me another thing for the next year I was on the weight loss portion. When she saw I was close to goal, she started asking things like could I have fruit yet, or what about some milk. I would always thank her and tell her, not yet but soon.
Try it. It may just work. Some people simply need that direct confrontation to finally get it that you are serious...
You almost lost 30lbs already by saying no. Keep saying no regardless of how much it gets on your nerves and those 56lbs left for you to lose will soon disappear.
Start Date: 03/20/2010.
Week (1-4): -7.3, -5.1, - xx, -xx = -xx.
Goal 1: 249 lbs (Get out of the 250s for good).
Goal 2: 235 lbs.
Goal 3: 220 lbs.
Goal 4: 214.5 lbs*** 50 lbs Loss ***.
Goal 5: 199 lbs ***** This will be the most emotional goal EVER*****.
Goal 6: 185 lbs.
Goal 7: 170 lbs.
Goal 8: 164.5lbs*****100 lbs Loss*****.
Goal 9: 159 lbs.
Goal 10: 149 lbs *****Below 150 lbs for the 1st time in 14 years*****.
Goal 11: 139 lbs and perhaps readjustment of Final Goal*** Dont want to be too thin..
GOAL 12 (FINAL): 130 lbs and AT GOAL...
This is a great thread and I have a related problem. My husband (who is not living with me full time) does things to sabotage me but pretends he is supportive. We have had MANY talks but he does things like:.
Buy CASES of candy bars at Costco and leave the on the dresser in the bedroom.
Buy big bags of candy and "accidentally" leave them ON my laptop.
Buy candy, chips, and cookies and sit in the living room eating them in front of me every night (he is obese as well).
Add melted butter or cream to my healthy pancake batter (pre-MF).
Add cream cheese and butter to my scrambled eggs when I specifically asked him to make them with nothing added (now I never eat anything he cooks!).
Buy 5 pound bags of sausage (which is a major trigger food for me) and fry it daily without the range vent on.
Make dips, spreads, and snacks in huge amounts.
Buy Girl Scout cookies FOR ME when I told him I dont want them.
Buy huge chocolate muffins FOR ME when he knows I cant eat them.
Buy cases of Coke when I am the only one who likes Coke.
Eating ALL the veggies I prepped and leaving me the fatty crap.
Etc, etc, etc!! When I try to talk to him he says "just because YOU are dieting doesnt mean I have to suffer!" and then he went out and bought 8... yes EIGHT half gallons of ice cream..
Not sure how to even deal with this... I swear if he starts eating my Medifast food I will flip!..
Oh I hear you I work with a food pusher and live with the absent minded professor. Food pusher makes me crazy, every day, several times a day she is in my office offering me something.
I tried all the logical, thoughtful responses, then I moved on to "get out of my office with THAT" to finally something that seemed to get her attention.
"no thank you, THAT is so not worth it, but you go right ahead and enjoy it, by the way, how you coming along at lowering your cholesteral"? she usually departs quickly.
My DH just got up, headed to the kitchen and asked me if I would like some strawberries! Ugh, when I glared at him he said "I thought you could have fruit"........dork, haven't eaten fruit in 6 months!.
Now my DD is my cheerleader, DH will offer something and she will say NO and glare at him, it is kind of funny!.
Hang in there, I look at it like this too is something we have to relearn how to handle..
To the previous poster who said food is our language, that was very profound and makes a lot of sense. Well said, thank you for the food for thought...
LOL!! LOL!!! LOL!!!!LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Crying from laughter)!!! Be patient! Your weight loss might make him feel insecure. Like you won't be the same and more attractive to others etc....
It's a phase! I suspects when he sees you succeed; he will get on the bandwagon as well!.
Start date: 03/20/2010.
Week (1-4): -7.3, -5.1, -xx, -xx.
Goal 1: 249 lbs. / Get out of the 250lbs(ish) and never come back!.
Goal 2: 235 lbs..
Goal 3: 220 lbs..
Goal 4: 214.5 lbs. 50 POUNDS GONE.
Goal 5: 199 lbs. This will be the most emotional weight goal as I havent been below 200 lbs since 2001..
Goal 6: 185 lbs..
Goal 7: 170 lbs..
Goal 8: 164.5 lbs. 100 POUNDS GONE!!!!!!.
Goal 9: 155 lbs..
Goal 10: 140 lbs..
FINAL : 130 lbs...
I am a recovering alcoholic and when I was getting sober I was told that first you politely refuse the drink, then you get a little louder and then you finally shout NO THANK YOU! Might work, but then again it might really po someone. But when it is a matter of life and death................
I agree with Viva. I finally quit saying "No I can't have that" and having people look at me like I am eating alien foods to get skinny. Now I just say, No Thank You or I am fine, I don't want any.
Or if it is family and people who should be supportive you could try "That food item is not on my plan for right now. I appreciate the offer, and maybe in the future I will eat that item again. For now, you should enjoy it!".
Just a thought.maybe they don't really understand the plan, ketosis and how a little off plan item could seriously impact your progress. You might need to break it down a little more. My family still doesn't understand half of what I can or can't do and I just have to keep explaining what carbs are and how they work. My parents didn't believe alcohol had carbs in it.ummm ok!..