Places to go on a first date

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*My native language is spanish, so Ill try to make my best here. Ok, this is the story: I saw a girl on a club and asked for her mail (hotmail/messenger), weve been chating for about 3 weeks and we like each other, the thing is that we never went out and we both know that the first time would be kinda strange. Here in my country 1st dates consist usually on going to a bar to drink something and talk, but I know that this is not the best choice because both of us are very shy and it would make us force a conversation in order to fill the silence. What places to you suggest on trying? Ive thought an art exposition, because you can walk around without having to speak to each other all the time. Which are your suggestions?? Thanks..

Comments (9)

Your question was: Places to go on a first date.

The art expo is a good idea because you can start out chatting about the event and the objects on display and then it can gradually lead to more personal things about yourselves. You can also take in a movie and while you are sitting there silent for a couple of hours you can also chat about the movie afterwards...

Comment #1

First of all thanks for the fast answer.About the tip:Since weve been chating a lot, and we only need to get used to speaking to each other in person I think the movie is not an option she ll like, although it gives you something to talk about. But I think that Ill tell her that I would pick her up in my car, and when she gets in I just start joking about her shyness, that way I take some pressure of and then offer her to go for a walk in a park or whatever.What do you think??..

Comment #2

Since you have been chatting for 3 weeks I would assume that you would know some of her likes and dislikes. I wouldn't joke about her shyness because it only emphasizes it. I wouldn't say anything at all about it and forget that you knew that about her. If you think that she'll like a walk in the park, then you do what you are comfortable doing. If it were me, I would prefer a quiet place to sit and talk. Just dont do what other guys are doing these days - testing a women's golddigger potential.

Now, I can understand how a guy could feel raked over the coals by women because most women date using because they want to get out of the house and feel like someone is treating them special. But, a woman like me is going to see through that ruse and it will annoy me that I am being blatantly tested. I know that a man who I have never met before wouldn't know that I am a good person and would not use a guy that way, but it still bugs me. The drawback to this new dating (online dating with method by men is that when women see a guy trying to "cheap out" it means that they don't want to invest in someone who they already know is just a "lay". There are two stereotypes in conflict here and unless both parties drop it, the two stereotypes will butt heads.

But to enjoy an exposition and discuss the artists is much more fun.You could always do what I do when being set up with a blind date, and that is to just go out for lunch. It is less expensive and less intense and people are generally in a good mood.In my situation, I would have to go with something more low key and private in getting to know someone because, right now, I am a crime victim and I am being stalked and harassed. So the only way I am going to get privacy talking to a guy is if I am in my house or his house. Which is not the best scenario, but it would have to do. One day I hope to not need to have to handle things this way.Good luck and have fun!..

Comment #3


Why not do an activity together - i.e.: some kind of sport - that you both enjoy and that will give you something to share and talk about.


Comment #4

Well well, I went out today. I picked her up with the car and we went to a park near her place. We walked for almost 1 1/2 hours and then we went to a bar. We talked all the time. Then I took her back to her place. As I really like this girl I guessed it would be better to leave the first kiss for the second date.

So I asked her if she wanted to go out again. She agreed, so we are going for the 2nd date using on wednesday. Now I have to find out were to go on wednesday and how can I get the first kiss. LOL Thanks a lot to every one of you...

Comment #5

Since when did kissing on the first date using mean that you don't like the girl? When did this happen? I am a little confused by your dating (online dating with methods.How do you get the first kiss? You lean over and kiss her. No biggie. I dont think I can give you advice on where to take her since your dating (online dating with style is very foreign to me. But, if you like the outdoors, then what about a picnic?..

Comment #6

HA.What I meant with the first kiss is that most guys rush for the kiss as if they had to take something from the date. If the kiss comes naturally it's perfect, but if not I like to wait for the second date, for 2 reasons: the 1st I just explained (the rush), the 2nd one is because if the girl doesnt want to go out again she wont like to be kissed. If she goes out again then she knows that that would happen...

Comment #7

Maybe thinking about where to take her is fine, but going into what you're going to say, etc is too much thought already. Just relax and go with the flow. It sounds like you're doing great!!!..

Comment #8

Again, always nice to do an activity that you are both involved in - it's a natural conversation starter.


Comment #9

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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